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Rites of Passage

The Spiritual Significance of the Winter Solstice

Ceremony, Rituals, Rites of Passage, Spiritual Significance, Life LessonsChloë RainComment
meaning of winter solstice

The light of the Sun begins a new solar cycle at Winter Solstice. The rays shine into the dark, and nurture the newborn life there to be cultivated. And this is mirrored in nature, as the seeds are buried in the darkness of the Earth, to emerge once again with the life-giving rays of the Sun.

In the Northern Hemisphere at this time we are experiencing the longest and darkest nights of the year and the shortest days with the least amount of daylight. The dark triumphs over the light, but this signifies a turning point!

In winter everything lies dormant in the silent earth, it is a sacred time of rest and reflection before the awakening and the slow build toward brighter days.

The energy of winter is that of going within. It's the fruitful darkness and silence out of which our soul's yearnings and new inspirations can eventually emerge.  As we consciously link our awareness to nature's cycles, our understanding of our own personal growth cycles begin to deepen.

Why do we spend so much time suppressing and hiding our darkness? When negative emotions come up and we feel them, they're inconvenient, uncomfortable, or worse, we make ourselves wrong for feeling them.

When we fear our own darkness, we cut ourselves off from an essential source of our own personal power. The key is not in letting darkness overwhelm our lives and our thoughts but in understanding that darkness can be one of the greatest catalysts for personal growth and transformation.

Maybe even our way to enlightenment.

By allowing ourselves to feel our emotions and experience our own darkness, the darkness itself can become the spiritual cradle into which our inner light and new life is born.

Allow your feelings to guide you because your feelings are your truth.

Winter Solstice is the great stillness before the Sun's strength builds, and days grow longer. It can be a time to rest and reflect.

In Latin, solstice is made of two words: sol– meaning “the sun” and sistere meaning “to make stand.” Winter Solstice (Friday, December 21, 2018 at 5:23 pm EST) is one the most powerful points of the year as the axis of the Earth pauses, shifts and moves in the opposite direction. For three days around the solstice points we experience the power of the standstill point and the shift of direction. The sun standing still is a powerful metaphor for the energy available to us at the Winter Solstice to change the direction of our lives with intention and build on this energy as we enter into the new year. After experiencing the longest night and darkest day, the nights grow shorter and the days grow brighter until the Summer Solstice.

For today let yourself rest in the peace of darkness, knowing the changing of the season, and the return of brighter days is ahead, be reminded you are always connected to Source, and your inner light never dims.

Don’t pressure yourself to make changes right now or be in action in world … let the energies of new life and inspiration build slowly within you and by spring you’ll be bursting with new energy and ideas. This is the nature of things… the cycles and rhythms of personal growth and change, as you consistently nurture yourself with compassion, allowing for rest and reflection, great joy will be your harvest in 2019.

You may want to take time to honor and acknowledge the endings & new beginnings in your life in a ceremony or personal ritual that both honors your past and clears space to make room for what you wish for the coming year. I share some ideas for personal rituals below ↓.

Whatever you choose to do to mark the end of the year, the coming of the new, and the rebirth of the light— whether pausing in quiet reflection, or celebrating with community, know that all over our planet, there are many fires burning brightly!

Abundant blessings to you in the coming year! 

In love and service,

 
Copy of Copy of Print
 
Meaning of Winter Solstice 2018

Ritual Acts Give Life Meaning

The longest night of the year is honored by many traditions as a sacred and rich time. Regardless of your holiday traditions, this time of year can be honored by reflecting on the past year and participating in your own personal ritual of light or Ending & Beginnings. When we make time to acknowledge the gifts of Spirit we cultivate a greater capacity to receive our own inner light. By enacting a personal ritual you can celebrate the dark and the light and invite balance and harmony into your life!

Ritual acts give life meaning. They also honor and acknowledge the unseen web of Life that connects us all. When we honor our personal cycles and the seasons of the year— we are reminded of the ever-changing flow of life that we are connected to.

It is suggested to take time 15 minutes before and 15 minutes after the precise moment of the Solstice to open to the intelligence of nature all around you and to acknowledge your personal growth cycle. A simple ritual act done with intention in your heart is enough. 

Since this time of year is associated with light — celebrate with string lights, sparklers and candles. Join in the Jewish tradition of the Festival of Lights, with 8 days of ritual illumination or participate in a community bonfire and burn your own Yule log, a tradition with roots in Northern European pre-Christian times.

Light celebrations can be reminders of our inner light, and the Divine Light that guides our way in times of darkness. 

Fire Ceremony for Winter Solstice 2017

Fire Ceremony for Release & Rebirth

You may want to take time to honor and acknowledge the endings & new beginnings in your life in a ceremony or personal ritual that both honors your past and clears space to make room for what you wish for the coming year.

Make an offering that represents the past and give it to the Spirit of Fire as a completion. Then spend a bit of time dreaming and visioning to bring into focus what you would like to experience and bring into being in the coming year.

This can be done as a personal ceremony or with a group. Begin by giving out small pieces of paper and pencils so each can write down what they want to release.

When all have written down what they wish to release, all can gather around a fire, and each can in turn come to the fire and throw their paper in.

After all have gone, you may want to end the ritual by going around the circle and each person sharing something they are grateful for, or you may want to make some celebratory noise by banging on drums, shaking noise makers, and using your voice to send your prayers off into the Universe with a celebratory song!

 

Red Dress Winter Snow.jpeg

Walking the Path of Purpose Apprenticeship

Are you ready to go deep and discover your unique, soulful, intelligent, and meaningful place in the world? Learn to create a life in alignment with your truest essence and purpose.

Learn more about the spiritual significance of seasons, lunar influences, and powerful energy medicine techniques to harness and transform the energy of your life in the Walking the Path of Purpose 5 month Mentorship Program.

Chloë Rain is a Spiritual Guide & Visionary. She is the the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement.

Chloë has had the pleasure of working with women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to self love, and experience greater fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and JOY in their lives, relationships, and finances.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and joy in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

No, It's Not Selfish to Want to Go on a Spiritual Journey

Be who you want, Inspiring, Life Lessons, Learning to Love Yourself, Retreats, Rites of Passage, TravelGuest WriterComment
Why go on a spiritual journey

Is it greedy—or irresponsible—to go on a quest to discover who you are? Not even a little bit.

By Elizabeth Gilbert


The other day, a desperate-looking woman approached me on the street and grabbed my arm. I assumed she was about to ask for money—but she looked me in the eye and demanded, "Is it selfish that I want to go on a spiritual journey?" 

Now, this might seem like a bizarre question to be asked by a stranger, but I'm used to it. In the decade since I wrote Eat, Pray, Lovewhich is all about my own spiritual journey, I've been asked a variation of this question by thousands of women. (And I've certainly been accused of selfishness for having taken that journey.) 

Women constantly tell me they long to do what I did. Even if it's not possible for them to travel the world for a year, they want to create their own quest. They tell me they want to deepen their relationship with God and with themselves—but they don't want to seem entitled, irresponsible, frivolous. Aren't the demands of reality more important than their esoteric questions? And what if their spiritual journey leads them far from their cultural or religious origins, or disrupts their marriage? And what makes them think they're so special, anyhow, to deserve a spiritual quest? 

A lot of these anxieties stem from one problem: Often women believe they're not supposed to desire anything beyond home and family. But the craving they feel isn't wrong; it's human. Every spiritual journey in history has begun with a sense of dissatisfaction—with somebody saying, "This is not enough for me." 

Does it make you selfish, then, to go searching for something more? I say no—and here's why: 

You have the right to try to figure out who you are. 

This is not a simple task; you are a unique event in the history of the universe. There has never been a you—not your particular soul, living at this particular moment, faced with your particular challenges. Your existence is a mystery, a miracle, and an experiment of creation, and you are allowed to examine that mystery to the fullest. 

A spiritual journey bears no resemblance to a spa vacation. 

True spiritual investigation is rarely relaxing; expect your search to expose painful and challenging truths. We don't generally take on the fundamental questions because they're fun. Usually, we're brought to them on our knees. Staying with those questions, despite the discomfort, is a path for the brave.

Doing something for yourself isn't by definition selfish. 

In Mandarin, there are two words that translate to selfish in English. One means "doing something that benefits yourself." The other means "doing something greedy." In English, we don't have this distinction. In our puritanical culture, we tend to believe that anything benefiting us is probably greedy. But guess what? You can do great things for yourself without taking a thing away from anyone else. 

Going on a spiritual journey can be a public service. 

Spiritual journeys are attempts to alleviate self-suffering. And until you can alleviate your own suffering, you will continue to inflict suffering—not only on yourself, but also on those around you. Happy people are much better at caring for others than those who are in pain. (Haven't you witnessed the way misery and depression make you unable to think of anyone but yourself?) Once you've found peace, you will be able to serve humanity. 

All this is what I told that desperate-looking woman, and it's what I'm telling you now. If you long for a journey, embark on one—for yourself, for the people around you, for all of us. We learn from one another's paths. In fact, I guarantee you this: You will not be the only person you liberate along your private road to freedom.

Reposted from O Magazine

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Spiritual Journey to the Andes

Aya Vision Ceremony, Spiritual Immersions, and pilgrimages to the Mountains of Peru offered throughout the year...


Thank you, Liz Gilbert for this spot on piece on why taking a Spiritual Journey is not only in service to your Soul, but to the rest of the World! AHO. Ari.

This morning we sat down at Jack's Cafe, one of our favorite places to eat in our favorite neighborhood of San Blas (Cusco Peru). A dog followed us in from the street and put his head in my lap under our breakfast table, then laid down with his rump resting on my foot for the entirety of the meal and conversation.

In the window, next to the humongous bouquet of gladiolus that touch the ceiling with their blossoms, was an old copy of O Magazine, something about Oprah's outfit, wearing knee high muck boots and a ground grazing pink sequin skirt in her garden, caught my attention. The theme was "How to Show Up for Life"... so I was compelled to take a look at what Oprah had to say about this topic.

This spurred the most enthusiastic conversation about life, finding your own magic, creating right livelihood, Liz Gilbert, and a few other famous people and their messages— not to be mentioned here (because we don't agree with their message no matter how famous they are).

By the end of breakfast we were feeling most inspired about the day ahead, the work we had on our plates, and the very meaningful purpose for being alive.

Below are some pictures from the recent 2018 Spiritual Journeys in March and April, join me for the upcoming Spiritual Journey in October of this year! Check out more pictures of the sacred journey on → Facebook.


Chloë Rain is a Spiritual Guide & Visionary. She is the the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement.

Chloë has had the pleasure of working with women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to self love, and experience greater fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and JOY in their lives, relationships, and finances.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and joy in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

Winter Solstice : Making Peace with the Darkness

Ceremony, Rituals, Rites of Passage, Spiritual Significance, Life LessonsChloë RainComment
releasing negative emotions

Why do we spend so much time suppressing and hiding our darkness? When negative emotions come up and we feel them, they're inconvenient, uncomfortable, or worse, we make ourselves wrong for feeling them.

When we fear our own darkness or make ourselves wrong for having negative feelings, we cut ourselves off from an essential source of our own personal power. The key is not in letting darkness overwhelm our lives and our thoughts but in understanding that negativity can be one of the greatest catalysts for personal growth and transformation. Maybe even our way to enlightenment.

By allowing ourselves to feel our negative emotions and experience our own darkness, the darkness itself can become the spiritual cradle into which our inner light and new life is born.

Allow your feelings to guide you because your feelings are your truth.

In the Northern Hemisphere at this time we are experiencing the longest and darkest nights of the year and the shortest days with the least amount of daylight. The dark triumphs over the light, but this signifies a turning point!

In winter everything lies dormant in the silent earth, it is a sacred time of rest and reflection before the awakening and the slow build toward brighter days. As we consciously link our awareness to nature's cycles, our understanding of our own personal growth cycles begin to deepen.

The energy of winter is that of going within. It's the fruitful darkness and silence out of which our soul's yearnings and new inspirations can eventually emerge.

Winter Solstice (Thursday, December 21, 2017 at 11:28 am EST) is one of the most powerful points of the year as the axis of the Earth pauses, shifts and moves in the opposite direction. For three days around the solstice points we experience the power of the standstill point and the shift of direction. After experiencing the longest and darkest day, the nights grow shorter and the days grow brighter until the Summer Solstice.

For today let yourself rest in the peace of darkness, knowing the changing of the season, and the return of brighter days is ahead, be reminded you are always connected to Source, and your inner light never dims. 

Don’t pressure yourself to make changes right now or be in action in world … let the energies of new life and inspiration build slowly within you and by spring you’ll be bursting with new energy and ideas. This is the nature of things… the cycles and rhythms of personal growth and change, as you consistently nurture yourself with compassion, allowing for rest and reflection, great joy will be your harvest in 2018.

You may want to take time to honor and acknowledge the endings & new beginnings in your life in a ceremony or personal ritual that both honors your past and clears space to make room for what you wish for the coming year. I share some ideas for personal rituals below ↓.

Whatever you choose to do to mark the end of the year, the coming of the new, and the rebirth of the light— whether pausing in quiet reflection, or celebrating with community, know that all over our planet, there are many fires burning brightly!

Abundant blessings to you in the coming year! 

With love,

 
Copy of Print
Festive Candle Lights for Winter Solstice 2017

Ritual Acts Give Life Meaning

The longest night of the year is honored by many traditions as a sacred and rich time. Regardless of your holiday traditions, this time of year can be honored by reflecting on the past year and participating in your own personal ritual of light or Ending & Beginnings. When we make time to acknowledge the gifts of Spirit we cultivate a greater capacity to receive our own inner light. By enacting a personal ritual you can celebrate the dark and the light and invite balance and harmony into your life!

Ritual acts give life meaning. They also honor and acknowledge the unseen web of Life that connects us all. When we honor our personal cycles and the seasons of the year— we are reminded of the ever-changing flow of life that we are connected to.

It is suggested to take time 15 minutes before and 15 minutes after the precise moment of the Solstice to open to the intelligence of nature all around you and to acknowledge your personal growth cycle. A simple ritual act done with intention in your heart is enough. 

Since this time of year is associated with light — celebrate with string lights, sparklers and of course, candles. Join in the Jewish tradition of the Festival of Lights, with 8 days of ritual illumination or participate in a community bonfire and burn your own Yule log, a tradition with roots in Northern European pre-Christian times.

Light celebrations can be reminders of our inner light, and the Divine Light that guides our way in times of darkness. 

Fire Ceremony for Release & Rebirth 

Fire Ceremony for Winter Solstice 2017

You may want to take time to honor and acknowledge the endings & new beginnings in your life in a ceremony or personal ritual that both honors your past and clears space to make room for what you wish for the coming year.

Make an offering that represents the past and give it to the Spirit of Fire as a completion. Then spend a bit of time dreaming and visioning to bring into focus what you would like to experience and bring into being in the coming year.

This can be done as a personal ceremony or with a group. Begin by giving out small pieces of paper and pencils so each can write down what they want to release.

When all have written down what they wish to release, all can gather around a fire, and each can in turn come to the fire and throw their paper in.

After all have gone, you end the ritual by banging on drums, or shaking noise makers, and your voice to send it off into the Universe with a celebratory song!


Chloë Rain is a Spiritual Guide & Visionary. She is the the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement.

Chloë has had the pleasure of working with women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to self love, and experience greater fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and JOY in their lives, relationships, and finances.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and joy in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

You can stop seeking your passion now. You won't be able to "find it."

Be who you want, Inspiring, Rites of PassageChloë RainComment
How to know if you are living your life purpose

You can run away from yourself for a very long time.

But eventually that will bite you in the ass.

You can stop seeking your passion, now. You won’t be able to “find it”.

It lives within you, you could not have lost it unless you ripped it from your own DNA strands. 

You are born with your own unique life map and reason for living. No ONE else has this information. It does not exist out there. The answer could not possibly exist out there or be separate from ourselves… or then we would all really be screwed, spending our whole lives looking around trying to find IT, hoping someone else doesn’t have IT, or that we will be lost forever without IT.

The only way we lose IT and lose our guidance is when we silence it, cover it up, or don’t give it voice, don’t trust it, or think that our own internal guidance is “lying to us” or leading us astray.

In that sense, we can only ever make one “mistake” and that is to not to trust ourselves, our own wisdom, and that the Universe doesn’t have our back.

Find what is real for you.

When we ask for the things we truly want in our lives, the lessons we are given to “get us there” do not come in the way we think they should… but none the less you are fulfilling your soul’s purpose even right now, by being you. Even without knowing how.

There are people in this world that live their purpose just by going where they are called to go and by being themselves. Perhaps this is the greatest human experience to be at home in your heart and to trust that by following it you will in fact fulfill your highest purpose without having the need to call it such.

My desire is to live a life that is worth living and one that is dedicated to a greater cause than just myself. That is real for me.

Find what is real for you.


What Oprah & Liz Gilbert know about Authenticity....

November 2015 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine: How to Do What You Love

You can be married to the wrong person for decades and pretend it's fine. You can fake it doing work you only half care about. You can hide behind accoutrements, square footage, and cars. Big-screen TVs and fancy vacations. But you will never get away with being a phony. 

Eventually life reveals itself and shows you a mirror to help you see your own truth. 

And if you've been faking it, ignoring your thoughts and feelings (what I call your emotional GPS), the wake-up call can be harsh. 

The call often comes in the form of what, on the surface, looks like loss: loss of a job, a relationship, your looks, or whatever external thing you use to find value in yourself. 

When you excavate deeper, examining more closely every situation that has fallen apart, you will find truth gone awry. 

I know for sure that we each contribute to the whole of what it means to be a human on earth. The fullness of our humanity can be expressed only when we are true to ourselves. Your real job on earth is to become more of who you really are. To live to the highest degree what is pure, what is honest, what is natural, what feels like the real you. 

Anything less is a faked life. 

To be authentic is the highest form of praise. You're fulfilling your mission and purpose on earth when you honor the real you. 

Your whole life becomes a prayer of thanksgiving.

 
Chloë Rain is a Spiritual Guide & Visionary. She is the the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement.

Chloë has had the pleasure of working with women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to self love, and experience greater fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and JOY in their lives, relationships, and finances.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and joy in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

You must learn to save yourself.

Be who you want, Ceremony, Inspiring, Nature, Photography, Rites of Passage, Spiritual Significance, Travel, WorkshopChloë RainComment
 Literally jumping for joy in Peru! Join me here this fall.   Sacred journey to Cusco & Machu Picchu.

Literally jumping for joy in Peru! Join me here this fall.  Sacred journey to Cusco & Machu Picchu.

She’s turning her life into something sacred: Each breath, a new birth. Each moment, a new chance. She bows her head, gathers her dreams from a pure, deep stream and stretches her arms towards the sky.
— Monique Duval

Happiness, joy, truly enjoying life, these aren't topics I take lightly, nor am I flippant about the real life dark places that we find ourselves in, even after doing all the right things, following all the rules, and "working on ourselves"...

I had battled with fairly serious depression for over 30 years, and as a young person suicide had been a daily consideration. As I aged, things became tolerable, but not necessarily better. Then again, in my mid thirties I began to seriously question if I had a reason to keep living. 

I wondered why anyone would bother to keep going when it seemed life never really got any better, and most of my experiences had only deepened my sadness and loneliness, so what the fuck was the point?

Depression is not an inconvenience, it's not something that leaves over night after you read a good book.

It is also not an illness you have to live with your entire life. It is possible to heal from depression and anxiety without medication.

I started with simple things, the only things I knew to do that would keep me from my self destructive behaviors. 

I started spending any free time I had in nature.  I started sheltering myself from people who meant well, but ultimately didn't know what was best for my well-being.

I devoured books about real people who had recovered from great challenges and were now leading extraordinary lives.

I started taking risks, I started listening to my heart as it started speaking up.

As the beauty and true abundance of nature started to seep into my bones and cleanse me of my toxic thoughts, the Universe began to dialogue with me... in ways I'd never heard spoken before, and messages I'd never received... and I LISTENED.

When you find yourself thinking there must be more to life than this and longing to experience something greater in life, then most likely you are ready to begin exploring deeply your own purpose for existence. When you begin to explore deeply, you learn to uncover your true power and gifts, and are able to find meaning in your past failures.  This is when  you will come to believe in yourself again and that is when you become powerful beyond belief.

I'm sharing all of this with you with the intention that I may offer a message of HOPE.

HOPE, that you too, can find your way, WILL FIND YOUR WAY to happiness and joy. That it is possible to come to terms with the "failures" of your life, and begin to see that some of the heartbreak was in service to your heart opening.

It was a fated journey to Cusco Peru and Machu Picchu that ultimately helped me heal from my long standing depression, fully and completely once and for all. The ancient spiritual energies of the land of Peru and the medicine I received there helped save my life and led me to discover my true purpose and gave me a reason for living.

My entire existence is now dedicated to the revolution of the human spirit. 

My "work" is an extension of who I am BEing, and everything I do is an expression of living life the best I know how, and then learning to open to receive more joy.

If you are feeling called to experience something unlike anything you've ever experienced before, please join me this fall in Peru for a Spiritual Pilgrimage that will undoubtedly change your life.

You can experience the mystical world of living energy and touch the magic of the place first hand, October 28th! You may learn more about the journey here. I will be sharing my intimate knowledge with you of the ancient wisdom of the Andean Spiritual cosmology and how this medicine helped me to discover my life purpose in life and heal from depression.

Join me for Spiritual Pilgrimage to Machu Picchu & Cusco Peru

Below are photographs of my first initiation in Peru where I was told the "The Mountains are speaking to You." and I understood something about my life I had never truly grasped before. The Incas call the spirit of the mountains Apu, and consider the Apu to be the most powerful of all Nature Spirits; the mountains remain extremely sacred in the Andean regions of modern Peru.

Some of these pictures are difficult for me to share because I can see the weight of depression and illness on my face and my body. But I know that after these pictures were taken, not only did my experiences help me to heal from depression, but also helped me heal from an autoimmune disease and severe anxiety issues. I look and feel better now than I ever did in my 20s or 30s!

Jumping for joy in Peru!


As you turn inward and fall in love with the truth of who you really are, you become whole despite the brokenness.
— Chloë Rain
Chloë Rain is a Spiritual Guide & Visionary. She is the the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement.

Chloë has had the pleasure of working with women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to self love, and experience greater fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and JOY in their lives, relationships, and finances.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and joy in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

Beltane Fire Festival: Celebration of Life & Love : The Significance of Ritual In Our Lives

Be who you want, Inspiring, Nature, Ceremony, Rites of Passage, Rituals, Spiritual SignificanceChloë RainComment

Beltane and its celebration and the rituals that we as humans have performed for thousands of years has been about fertility, fire and passion, and bringing forth life and in preparation for an abundant harvest. 

As I fine tune my own personal cycles and soul path, as I learn more about indigenous traditions, plant medicine, and the Ancestors the more I have felt at home in my own body and at home in my life. I encourage you to tap into the ancient wisdom that also courses within your veins.

As I observe my own annual cycle of emotion, experience, energy, and transition to conclusion... there seems to be recurring themes and certain seasonal patterns through the years. As I continue to allow myself to be carried by the energetic waves, the ebb and flow of life, more is revealed.

This time of year with the fullness of spring it seems to no surprise that the tiny ping of my heart, grows so loud as to pound out all other sound.

 I love how ritual and coming together in circle can reconnect you to your truth while being with others helps you to truly celebrate the mystery of life and the wonder of it all.... 

I love how ritual and coming together in circle can reconnect you to your truth while being with others helps you to truly celebrate the mystery of life and the wonder of it all.... 

The recreating of ancient rituals has become popularized especially in our modern Western Culture, but the very individual and personal experience of participating in ritual can be life changing and life affirming.

Beltane Fire Ritual & Celebration

Beltane, whose past and present significance is steeped deeply in ritual rites of sexuality and fertility, celebrates the height of spring, and the coming of summer, the earth has warmed, and May 1st(ish) astrologically is the end of darkness in the sun cycle.

Beltane: The Fire Festival is celebrated as the symbolic union of the May Queen and the King of the Forest, and the marking of the Light half of the year the end of the dark cycle. There's no denying this time of year is ripe with the energies of abundance, passion, lust, fertility, sexuality, and pregnancy.

The constant buzzing of hummingbirds and the multitude of species of bees around my house, coupled with the constant chirping of frogs frolicing in the pond, and the endless chanting call of the Whippoorwill at night in search of his mate remind me that some noise is required to call in LOVE.

The drum beat of my soul, the pounding of my heart, the buzzing of my cells, and the singing of my heart song is what reminds me that I am alive, and well, and fertile, and ready for the union of my hearts desire.

So perhaps take some time today to acknowledge your desires, and maybe even perform your own unique ritual to consummate the union of your desire and the seed of life and energy of birth. Trust that the discomfort of uncertainty is only a mild symptom of the joy of pregnancy and the expectancy of new life!

Love as a state of being, Love, coupled with passion for life and purpose. The unquenchable thirst for love and desire for the unknown and magic of living.

The constant drum beat of the internal longing to feel whole, alive, and on fire with desire. This pulsating and throbbing has only become more profound, more distinct, like a homing beacon.

What is on the unknown horizon of life, the unexpected fulfillment of desire in ways I couldn't imagine?

I feel pregnant with anticipation, so much so that my breasts ache. I stand in astute awareness and attention in the unknown.

I remind myself of a vow I have made "I surrender my personal will to divine will. I live in the present moment and seek only truth."

I pray for more magic, more surprise, more serendipity in my life.

Yes, this is when I feel more alive, when chance has its way with me and I realize that I'm very much more pleased with the flow and natural rhythm of my life, than I would have been with single focused and structured plans.

Uncertainty is a symptom of the arrival of magic, wonder and awe, the unknown is only the breath just before the Aaaah of AMAZEMENT.

The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty: not knowing what comes next.
— Ursula K. Le Guin

Sunrise at Bealtaine by Irish Photographer: Ken Williams  At the Beltany Stone Circle in the North West of Ireland, the sunrise at Beltane is aligned with the only decorated stone in the circle. The Beltany Stone Circle gets its name from Beltane which is associated with the lighting of hilltop fires in a rekindling of the sun.

The beginning of May, signifies one of the astrologically and historically important cross quarter dates of our calendar and the seasonal progression of the earth and growing seasons: Beltane or May Day celebration.

Beltane occurs 6 months after Samhain {Halloween}, and in the Celtic way of looking at the seasons marks the end of winter, the ‘dark’ half of the year, and the beginning of summer the ‘light’ half. Like Samhain, Beltane is a liminal (between) time, when the veil between the worlds of physical and nonphysical is thin- considered a good time for divination and particularly for seeing the Fair Folk (the Fae).

Beltane is one of the 8 sacred celebrations of the year and turning of the seasons : Imbolc; Ostara/Spring Equinox; Beltane; Litha/Summer Solstice; Lammas/ Lughnasad; Mabon/Autumn Equinox; Samhain/Halloween; Yule/Winter Solstice.


Beltane Fire Ritual & Celebration:

Fire and passion, love and life, brought together as one.

I am the earth, the womb of all creation.
Within me, new life grows each year.
Water is my blood, air my breath, and fire is my spirit.
I give you honor, and shall create new life with you.

I am the rutting stag, the seed, the energy of life.
I am the mighty oak that grows in the forest.
I give you honor, and shall create new life with you.

The earth is once more growing new life within!

We shall be blessed with abundance this year!

Chloë Rain is a Spiritual Guide & Visionary. She is the the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement.

Chloë has had the pleasure of working with women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to self love, and experience greater fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and JOY in their lives, relationships, and finances.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and joy in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

This is what I know, about that.

Healing, Learning to Love Yourself, Life Lessons, Rites of PassageChloë Rain
This is what I know about that Chloe Rain

I was standing with my nose about ten inches from the glass on the picture framed in a tiny corner made by two standing walls, one large and white, the other, only big enough to hang this tiny picture on that I am standing too close to as to be appropriate, but I can't help myself.

Someone at dinner had said to me,  "So, you're an artist.

And I had fumbled around and managed to insecurely say "Yes" to that statement.

Three years in a row I've been selected for this particular Juried Art Show... and still I feel like an imposter, in a world I am not worthy of.

That moment in the gallery though— with my nose as close to that glass as I could be without being asked to leave —  a full body sensation came over me.

I let it wet me and crash to the ground with a shock.

What a wave. What a joy. Feeling the feelings, deeply, with my whole self.

I am happy.

I know...

Art IS.

Anything that moves me to FEEL something.... music, poetry, painting, photography, video, sculpture, dance, food, sex, whatever.... 

Art IS real.

I feel immense gratefulness for being moved by this tiny piece of blue paint on the wall and simultaneously the live music that is being played by the band a few feet away...

I feel thankful to be alive. 

I can sense there is a place in the world for anything that elicits this type of emotion. There is a beautiful reason for anything that moves one to feel your own humanity.

Even if it's not the greatest shit you've ever seen, if it moves you, it is Art. 

It is worthy. 

If it moves you, it is magnificent.


Five days later, I am getting out of bed with a depression unlike anything I have experienced since my last brutal heartbreak, ten years ago. 

Groggy, from staying up till 4:00 am, I shuffle from my bed to make coffee, questioning my reason for getting out of bed at all.

"There is no place for my work in the world. Will I have to abandon everything, and go back to real-estate development in order to survive?"

Gratefully, a vivid awareness takes hold of me, "You must walk your path with greater integrity now, You do not stray, You pray, and you do not stop praying. But you must stop DOUBTING."

I don't have any idea who voted for who in the recent election. I voted for Hillary, and upon fully conceding that Donald Trump had actually won the election, I sank into darkness.

I didn't expect that this election would bring up very real and very personal woundings for me. Ones that I have managed to silence and bury for over a decade, rather than bring voice to and carry to the light.

I had thought, perhaps, I wouldn’t share the stories of discrimination and sexual harassment as a female professional, ever

I loathe, that I am a statistic.

I have suffered the gender wage gap, I have been the target of discrimination as a woman in the workplace, I have been stalked by my male boss. I have been involved in a sexual harassment case with a prestigious, powerful and married, CEO.

The lawyers said mine was "The most egregious case of sexual harassment they had ever seen." The law firm took up an entire city block in downtown Bethesda.

I haven't wanted to be, yet another woman with a victim story.

I have never considered myself a victim.

When I resigned from my former career, I had discovered that I was being paid literally half of the standard salary of a person with my title and position.  That made it near impossible to replace me when I left.

What it came down to in the end, was business.

To me, it had been personal. It was my life.

I learned the psychology behind that experience, it's called The Confidence Gap. In studies of business-school students, men initiate salary negotiations four times more often as women do, and when women do negotiate, they ask for 30 percent less money than men do.

Why would they pay me more, for work I was already doing? Men don’t accept the responsibility before the title, promotion, and raise are solidified, but women often act to prove themselves first, then expect to be rewarded. Which is rarely the case.

It was a health crisis, I call “all systems fail”, that would take me to my knees and make me question everything, including whether I wanted to go on living.

The decision to resign from my career, felt like life and death. If I didn’t put my health first, and make my life a priority, no one else would. 

When I left corporate America, I thought it was to get healthy, I thought it was temporary. I hoped I was going to fall in love and get married.

What life had in store for me, however, was something much greater than I could ever have imagined.

This week, however, I am grieving. 

I am able and emotionally aware enough to allow myself to feel the feelings of betrayal and heartbreak from deeds done nearly a decade ago.

I grieve with other women who have been sexually harassed, assaulted, or abused by men they respected and trusted, who now have a man as our President, that brags about groping women without their permission or consent.

"I just take." he says.

I mourn with other women and minorities, who have worked hard to earn respect in our professions and communities, that now witness large segments of our nation embrace, applaud, and elect a man who treats women and marginalized people as inferior and spouts fear and hate as rhetoric. 

A man who has made the statement "Grab her by the pussy" a household meme.

I'm not a woman who's easily offended, but even I find that statement disgusting and outrageous. And I've gone to bed with some reprehensible men.

For many years, I have blamed myself, I participated fully and completely in the system.

I believed in the system. I upheld the system.

Until the realization that the system, I so vehemently endorsed, was heavily weighted against me, and quite likely was going to kill me as I worked myself into a health crisis.

Then one day, I found myself on top of a mountain, contemplating jumping from the cliff, a real cliff, not the glass cliff.

In those moments of contemplation, I realized that I did not want to be dead, and if I did not want to be dead, then that must mean I want to be alive.

If I want to be alive then there must be another way to live.

I’ve been walking myself off that cliff ever since. When things get tough in my life, I go back to that cliff and I remember why I made the difficult choices, the ones that terrified me.

I remember why I chose my health over prestige, why I choose personal freedom over security, why I choose hope instead of fear, why I choose life instead of death.

I had to find myself first, I had to turn inward and discover the truth of my existence, and despite the brokenness, fall in love with myself, before anyone else could.

It is more important, now more than ever, to be who you came here to be and stand for what you believe in, to be a steward of substance in the world.

We can spend the majority of our lives, searching for the answer "out there somewhere", thinking one day we will finally "find it!" and everything will be different. But that's not where the answer lies, the healing and the love, and the peace you are seeking lies within, and at some place and time, you have to become still enough to go there in order to find what it is you are looking for.

I was grateful, I had a healing immersion scheduled with a client the day after the election. I spent half the day sitting on the earth in prayer, and the other half offering a wellness treatment to another human being.

The following day she wrote me, "I feel happy! For the first time in several weeks; I feel a genuine happiness inside."

I heard the voice inside say "I do not stray from my path, I keep walking even when my legs are shaking underneath me."

I have struggled with finding the words to explain and bridge the gap between my ambition in the real estate development world and my experience of the Spiritual and profound. In the days following this recent election, I have felt, my story, my entire story serves a purpose, and there is healing to be shared in telling the whole story, not just the pretty parts.

When the intensity of my internal thirst for meaning and longing for purpose became greater than my fear of the unknown, that is when I came to know presence of the Divine in my life, and in all things.

Now more than ever, I am committed to walk my path with greater integrity. As a light bringer, a truth seer, a woman, a lover, and a leader. 

Humanity is very divided. It is our individual responsibility to help heal the divide by healing ourselves first; by listening to the soft voice within you that is calling you to your own inner awakening so that you may align with your highest good — then by holding space for and guiding others to come into alignment with their true self and purpose for being in the world.

By learning to open our hearts with love and forgiveness, and expand our own consciousness, we contribute to the greater expansion of consciousness as a whole, exponentially.

I am doing whatever I can do to contribute to the world to help us feel connected, hopeful, kind and loving to each other and the complex stories we each carry. This is my life's work. My calling. My art. My offering to the world. 

I know that within each one of us is an important piece of the great mystery, I know that each of us are here to contribute something magnificent to this earth and I know that only you can offer your piece. Only in coming together, in desiring to understand the other, with compassion for the other's pain, will we begin to understand and see the greater good that lies ahead for us, and the world. 

I implore you, if you are suffering, reach out, ask for help, don't isolate, CONNECT, and find the courage to do what you came here to do. What the world needs now is your most magnificent self.


Live your purpose.

The Explore Deeply Movement, is founded on a belief that every person, no matter where they are at in life, how old or young, how successful or unaccomplished, how lost, unhappy or confused, has a unique and purposeful reason for being alive and as you turn inward and fall in love with the truth of who you really are, you become whole, despite the brokenness.
— Chloë Rain
Chloë Rain is a Spiritual Guide & Visionary. She is the the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement.

Chloë has had the pleasure of working with women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to self love, and experience greater fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and JOY in their lives, relationships, and finances.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and joy in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

People say, "You can always Go Back." I say, "That's Bullshit."

Be who you want, Inspiring, Learning to Love Yourself, Rites of PassageChloë Rain
Passion Led Us Here : People Say You can Always Go Back, I Say that's Bullshit : Chloe Rain : Explore Deeply

I was always striving to make IT, you know, make it BIG. That’s why I got into real estate development, I wanted to play with all the rich guys making the big deals. I had moved across the country to open our first west coast office for what had been my dream job and I was traveling back and forth across the country regularly.

I had that moment, in my top floor office with the amazing view overlooking the Puget Sound, where I thought this is IT, I guess I’ve made it, and then like a knife in the gut,

I realized “Oh F*&$, this isn’t IT.”

People say, you can always go back.

I say, "That’s bullshit." 

When I left, I thought it was to save my life and to get healthy, I thought it was temporary. I hoped I was going to fall in love and get married. What life had in store for me, however, was something much greater than I could imagine.

I’d always had a nagging sensation that there was more to life than what I was experiencing, but I had thought that I was going to fall in love, marry my husband, and have a happy domestic life. The truth was I was married to my job and had been single for more years then I would admit, not including the occasional affair or casual fling here and there.

After a year of living on the west coast, I hadn’t made any community, and on New Year's Eve, I witnessed a fatal accident. Seeing someone else’s life blood pour out onto the pavement rocked my world. I knew there was a reason I was alive, and if I was still alive, I better figure out immediately what I was here to do, be and to contribute. It had become clear to me that the life I was living, wasn’t much of a life at all.

Friends and family on the other side of the country that I rarely saw or spoke to, no love in my life, no community, barely a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I was so disconnected from myself, I couldn’t tell you if I enjoyed my morning coffee or if I was passionate or inspired by anything which felt scarier than being dead in that moment. I was living a half life. Dead inside walking around going through the motions.

As it turns out my health would be the final catalyst in my making serious life changes. I thought I was just eternally exhausted and then I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, my right arm became partially paralyzed, and I was exhibiting the precursors of MS. I saw the writing on the wall. I had to change my life, or die.

I quit smoking. I started cleansing and stopped eating processed foods. I fired my doctor after putting me on meds that made me suicidal and I started devouring books and medical journals on how to heal my body. Healing my body and recovering my mind placed me firmly on the path to complete self discovery.

Here’s the thing, the majority of us are walking around living our lives, hoping that we’re doing it right. The voices in your head that tell you what to do, beat you up for doing it wrong, tell you that you’re not good enough, say that you like this, and you don’t like, aren’t even yours.

You’re so busy living your life you never stopped to ask yourself,

Who am I? What do I like?

What am I doing here this lifetime?

And whose authority am I subscribing to in order to gauge whether or not I’ve accomplished what I'm 'supposed’ to. The scariest thing, is that the majority of us don’t even know when we’re truly happy, or if we are happy at all.

If we find ourselves seeking the meaning of our lives, chances are we are seeking the answer somewhere out there.

When you distinguish what’s good for you based on your own internal gauge, your own personal divining tool becomes the most powerful decision making system available to each of us.

Clarity is what comes with awareness. When you have clarity you know with a distinct quality a surety, that the answer you have been seeking is known, it is within you, and all you must do is to remove the barriers within that have kept you from it. I tell my clients, this doesn’t mean you never make the “wrong” decision again. Or that you don’t do the stupid thing. But you do recognize your choice and you have awareness around what’s driving the choice. Clarity is a choice point, when you have that awareness you can at that moment realize why you are choosing one experience over another, and also choose to have a different experience.

Think of your belief systems like well worn tracks in your brain circuitry. You thoughts and beliefs are like program coding that determine whether love, money, happiness, and success are possibilities in your life. Your beliefs can prevent you from taking action, moving forward, or making different decisions that would create different experiences in your life.

When we change the programming of your brain, its like refreshing a web page with new coding, your life appears differently once new programming is installed and the frame is refreshed.

I believe that science and spirituality are on a collision course to meet each other and I believe that many spiritual concepts will be understood by scientific findings in the years to come. Quantum physics, epigenetics, and neuroscience have drastically changed our understanding of time, space, the human body, and the human mind.

The way the brain changes as a result of mental activity is called neuroplasticity. Science is proving that thinking activity is real, it can be measured in our magnetic fields, and it can be seen on various types of brain imaging. Neuroscience has discovered that our thoughts form first in the frontal lobe then causing electrical impulses in the brain creating chemical effects that can be seen and measured.

When we think, amazing unfathomable creative things take place.

Your thinking changes the makeup of your brain. Your brain will follow the choices and intentions of your mind and change its makeup accordingly.

I strongly believe that each person has a reason for existence. Everything is made up of energy, including us, which means we have a unique resonance pattern making us absolutely integral in the system of things and completely distinctive as human beings and as energy. My work with individuals centers around each person understanding their own exceptional qualities and teaching them the tools to act on this knowledge.

Every person is unique and every person will find happiness, success, and soul purpose in their own unique way- this is true fulfillment and satisfaction.

When you know who you are; when your mission is clear and you burn with the inner fire of unbreakable will; no cold can touch your heart; no deluge can dampen your purpose. You know that you are alive.
- Chief Seattle, Duwamish

Chloë Rain is a Spiritual Guide & Visionary. She is the the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement.

Chloë has had the pleasure of working with women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to self love, and experience greater fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and JOY in their lives, relationships, and finances.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and joy in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

Get busy living or get busy dying.

Be who you want, Inspiring Stories, Life Lessons, Rites of PassageChloë Rain

Seems I always find myself on top of a mountain when contemplating life and the meaning of it all, top of Cranny Crow overlook. April 17th 2016, 12 year anniversary.

12 years ago on April 17th, it was a blue sky spring day and I went out for a ride on my motorcycle. Soon after getting my bike out of storage and on the road, I crashed my motorcycle into a guardrail going entirely too fast and beat all the odds by surviving the accident, taken away in an ambulance, with only two badly crushed arms and a bad concussion.

Today it occurred to me that the benefit of growing old is the time to gain perspective on your life and process things that may take many years to unpack.

I realized that after 12 years I still think I'm going to fully recover- in that I have constant chronic pain and sometimes crippling arthritis in my wrists/hands but it doesn't stop me from doing much...

I realized it has never occurred to me that "I wouldn't get better" ... My accident was 12 years ago but in a strange way it's always present in my life because the pain reminds me I'm lucky to be alive and that all my limbs work. This is great therapy! wink. I'm thinking that's what has saved me time and time again, it never occurs to me that life isn't just going to keep getting better and better. No matter how much pain I'm going through...

I was thinking things over and decided that the last three years have been my most favorite of living, then as the day went on, the last five years then 6, then I was just glad I've had 12 years since my brush with death. Last year I remember being sad that I hadn't accomplished more than I had (I mean a whole decade has gone by and where has it gone?!?)- sometimes you think you should be some place that you're not....

But as it turns out, to live another year is quite awesome and fortunate and NOT guaranteed so if you're still here there's more time to do it, be it, experience it....and apparently you're still here for a reason.

I appreciate this day every year as the day that I am lucky to be alive and grateful I've had another year of life experience.

I'm grateful I'm growing old and have had the privilege of aging. I have had the benefit of working things out, of maturing, of learning more about myself, and the best thing- liking myself more.

In many ways it's better than a birthday because I know it's the anniversary of the day I could have peaced out of this lifetime before I knew who I really was, before I was able to drop the anger, move beyond the depression, and lose the stoic facade and start really living.

"You can get busy dying or get busy living." I'm getting busy living!

Chloë Rain is a Spiritual Guide & Visionary. She is the the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement.

Chloë has had the pleasure of working with women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to self love, and experience greater fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and JOY in their lives, relationships, and finances.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and joy in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

I went to the top of the mountain to feel love, I wasn't prepared for the rage

Be who you want, Nature, Rites of Passage, Spiritual SignificanceChloë Rain1 Comment

I climbed to the top of the mountain, because I heard the mountain calling for me. 

I went to the top of the mountain to connect with my strength again. In Peru, the Shaman had told me that the spirits of the mountains were speaking to me and so I went to the top of the mountain to listen.

I longed for the strength and the knowledge that comes with the weathering of the forces of nature that slowly wear away the mountain, and eventually every other creature on the surface of this earth.  

As I was making my way up the steep terrain in the fog and mist I was asking to be blessed with the love of the spirit of the mountain, asking that my pain be absolved by the wisdom larger than the capacity of what I comprehend and hold for myself.  

I had ascended about a 1000 meters when I stopped and took the earbuds out of my ears to listen to the waterfall on the side of the trail. I listened to the falling water and prayed for cleansing of the spiraling thoughts from my mind's voice. Standing there under a pine tree, I saw landing beads of icy rain.  The sky began to pelt little fistfuls of ice.  I say to myself, Oh, God! I wasn't prepared for hail.

I wasn't prepared for wrath and rage, I was hoping for a soothing caress. 

And as I stood on the edge of the waterfall, still a 1000 meters to go and a 1000 meters rise in elevation already summited, violent hail began to fall.  

The heavens opened up and threw fistfuls of cold icy rage on my bare skinned face and naked hands. 

These little pieces of stinging ice were hailing down and anger was raging from inside me.

There's no other way to describe, oh how I set out to seek the love of the mountain, to be embraced in the kindness of nature, and I'm standing at the waterfall listening to the water pour from the ground.... and then violent rage.  

And I  laugh a little inside, my inside voice says "Oh shit sister, You're not going to give me the gentle, are you?"

You're going to spit piss and rage at me.  And I'm going to keep climbing the mountain. 

I'm not turning back. 

IMG_6300.jpg

I'd love to sing that cliche to you about no turning back, but truthfully, this is just about a physical realtity now. I set out to climb the mountain, to find absolution, and I'm going to keep climbing.

At the top, there is nothingness.

A dozen rose petals stuffed in my jacket pockets.

I toss the petals one by one.

Let me be healed.

Let me feel love. 

I throw the petals one by one catching in the wind blowing out in to the vastness of the white nothing.

These are my wishes. Hear me.

There is something about the light in the Pacific Northwest when it has poured rain all day and then the sky opens up and the sun is going down below the mountain line but there is a layer of clouds above that now gets lit up from behind

and you just don't know how God expects you to take it all in.

Chloë Rain is a Spiritual Guide & Visionary. She is the the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement.

Chloë has had the pleasure of working with women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to self love, and experience greater fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and JOY in their lives, relationships, and finances.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and joy in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

The Great White Snowy Owl Makes an Appearance : Owl's Medicine, Meaning, & Spiritual Significance

Ceremony, Life Lessons, Nature, Rites of Passage, Spiritual SignificanceChloë Rain1 Comment

Owl is synonymous with the Gift of Higher Knowledge and Insight. They carry the medicine of Sight Beyond Illusion.

Owl is a symbol for wisdom. This is because Owl can see that which others cannot, which is the essence of true wisdom. Where others are deceived, Owl sees and knows.


The Snowy Owl : The Spiritual Significance of its Appearance in our Lives

My relationship with Snowy Owl was renewed and powerfully strengthened this past week, while I experienced a tremendous resurgence of awe and wonder of receiving the wisdom that lies within.

While in Cusco Peru, a number of years ago in my first vision ceremony, a Snowy Owl came to me and wanted to climb inside my mouth. I remember thinking this was odd, but not feeling afraid and not understanding how visions could simultaneously be vivid and real and illogical and unreal, I invited the White Owl to climb inside my mouth.

In it climbed, then down my throat, and took up residence inside my belly. Dancing around and flinging its feathers, it was inviting me to be joyful, and join him in his dance. The Snowy Owl's wingspan opened and closed inside my body as he hopped on one foot then the other in a circle. It was the most happy little Owl, it's two feet with talons, stomping around inside of my chest, and kicking up white feathers like a snow globe inside my heart.

When I shared this vision with Maestro Juan Carlos and Maestro Lorenzo during my integration ceremony their response was:

"Ahhhh yes, it's very clear, very clear."

I remember thinking "What is clear??? Nothing is clear to me?" But this was their response to much of what I shared with them in my integration ceremony.

The Maestros explained that Yes, people do have animals that visit them in their visions and that they do climb inside of you and this is normal.

Though I didn't understand any of it, I was relieved to know that I had "done the right thing" in letting the White Owl climb inside my mouth and dance around in my body and take up residence inside me.

At the same time, I felt strange that I was okay with what had occurred. I can vividly recall the feeling of opening my mouth and letting the Snowy Owl climb in, but I would not understand the massive significance this experience would have on my life and personal view of the world until many years later.

At the time of my initiation on to the path of Visionary no one said — Oh, well it's very clear that the Snowy Owl is your Spirit Guide and will impart wisdom to you in many ways, the Spirit of Snowy Owl has taken up residence inside of you and she will visit you often, bringing you gifts of insight, wisdom, medicine and connection.

White Owl people are seers of divine wisdom and are said to be oracles of secret knowledge from the Elders.

In fact, Owls are Medicine Messengers, and each Owl has a different medicine message. Snowy Owls, in particular are the carriers of Wisdom from the Elders and if the Snowy Owl is your spirit guide you have the gift of channeling the words of the Elders via inspired written words or intuitive channeling.

Had I understood that channeling was a gift that had been imparted to me, and furthermore the gift of writing wisdom from beyond (not necessarily from me, but from a place of knowing), I might have felt a lot more confidence in the coming months as my life began to shift in strange and irreversible ways.

This understanding certainly would have been enlightening information for me to receive at that time in a way that I could hear it... but again, it would not be until years passed that I would fully understand and completely receive the medicine that came to me in that first vision ceremony.

I have learned from my teachers, only from in being with them in sacred space and then in "normal" space, like sitting across them at the breakfast table sipping mango smoothies, that nothing is conceptual to them, especially when it comes to animal spirits, the messages they bring to us when they appear in our lives, and the medicine and wisdom they impart to us when they walk with us in this world.

Most often the Maestros will answer your questions with a yes, or a no,  and very few words, and almost no explanations are given in shamanic training, because nothing is conceptual or symbolic as we experience things in Western culture. When the Snowy Owl comes to you and dances inside your being, you may have well as received an email from God saying:

Your life has changed, nothing will ever be the same. IN-JOY! Remember, this is what you wanted and I'm proud of you. Keep in touch, I'm always right here, and I'm only a shout or a prayer away when you need to speak to me.

Love, God

aka The Universe

PS. Love the Snowy Owl look on you! The Mountain Spirits are guiding you  and your Spirit Guide is the Great White Snowy Owl. Be wise, walk with humility!

The Maestros didn't answer my questions about my visions of the White Owl with grand explanations. To them, it was all very clear.

The Great White Owl, had come to take up residence within my soul.


The Snowy Owl : Animal Spirit: It's Medicine, Symbolism & Significance of its Appearance in our lives:

Empath - Intuitive - Oracle - Divine Identity Clairvoyance - Great Mystery Keeper -  Mystery Teacher - Tracker/Shaman Soul Retriever  - Mediator - Revelation of the Hidden - Conscience - Astral Travel - Ascension

The Owl is thought to be one of several Animals blessed with the Medicine of Shape-shifting, that is the ability for them to change their form from that of the Owl to a human form, and back again. This is a gift helpful for astral travel and soul retrieval. With the Owl in particular, this shape-shifting ability is closely linked with Lunar Magic since this beautiful creature is sister to the Moon. In observing the phases of the Moon, we witness ever shifting and changing cycles that affect all within the domain of Luna, including the inhale and exhale of the Ocean's waves. 

In Celtic tradition the Owl was used by the Shaman as the eyes and ears of intuition and perception. 

In Native American traditions, the Owl is called the Night Eagle. The owl power animal has a special connection with the night and the moon, while the eagle is connected to the sun. Owls are considered fierce night Eagles, birds of prey who have no qualms about going in for the kill.

If Owl is your personal medicine, no one can deceive you about what they are doing, no matter how they try to disguise or hide it from you. You may be a little frightening to be around, since so many people have ulterior motives which you see right through.

If you are unaware of your medicine power, you may take your keen insights and abilities for granted. Others never do. You may frighten them and reflect their blindness, for you cannot be fooled. Owl medicine people know more about an individual's inner life than that person know about herself or himself.

Source: Sams, Jamie and Carson, David. Medicine Cards (Santa Fe: Bear and Company, 1988)

As this pertains to Owl Medicine as a Messenger, different owls represent different roles as Messenger.  For instance, the Snowy Owl is the Animal Spirit that is a Messenger who is responsible for carrying wisdom from the Elders and the human with whom the Snowy Owl resides will have the gift of channeling the words of the elders via inspired written words or intuitive channelling.

It is said that if you meditate with the owl, the answers to your questions will be revealed. Listen to the voice inside of you.

Owl people can see into the darkness of their souls and the souls of others. Owl also helps you to recognize that there is a dark side to your nature that should not be ignored or repressed. You need to see that it is there so you can come to terms with it.

Snowy Owl's ability to navigate in the darkness makes her not only a master Spirit Guide for soul retrieval and the reclaiming of lost parts of the soul, but she is also the guide that helps us go into the void of the Great Mystery to call forth ancient wisdom, knowledge and secrets that have lain dormant for ages to help us remember the fullness of our being, and create the new earth.

You have to see to know. You have to know to see.


Machu_Picchu_Peru1.jpg

Spiritual Journey to Peru

Experience Machu Picchu & Healing Ceremony


There are times when our world feels like it is breaking down and dissolving right in front of our eyes and we might feel like it is totally out of our control.

As we are stripped of things we once thought were important, as we lose things, precious things, we begin to understand that at the core of our being we are worthy of existence, not because of what we do or what we have, but because of who we are.

Your life and the value you bring to the world through your own self expression and creativity are the most priceless possessions that no one and no thing can ever take from you.

There is no other speck of stardust in the Universe just like you.

No one else thinks your thoughts, feels your feelings, has your desires, or is capable of doing the things you do, in the way that you and only you do them.

When we explore deeply our reason for existence, we begin to know our own self-worth in a way that we've never contemplated or experienced before.

The essence of gratitude, is appreciation for life in and of itself. Your life matters, because you are you, and no one else can do what you are here to do. Since you are still alive, your life has a reason and a purpose and if there is still breath in your lungs, you haven't fulfilled your mission on earth yet.

Time to figure out what you are still doing here and go for it. When you find yourself asking the question, "What is my purpose for being alive?"

Know, that if there is still breath in your lungs, you have a purpose. There is a reason for your existence.

So often, people feel like "there's got to be more to life..."

Maybe it feels like you’re missing out on your potential in life… 

You need to know that your life purpose exists and who you are serves a greater purpose in this world. 

How do I know about this? 

...from my unique challenges in life, starting from when I almost died in an accident, then later was diagnosed with a debilitating auto-immune disease, and risked every thing I had ever created in order to recover my health and ultimately my happiness. 

I learned teachable techniques that helped me to grow a meaningful business which serves people around the world, and live a life filled with love, purpose, adventure, and miracles.  

The same techniques I've used to create a beautiful life, I have taught to many people who have then become fulfilled in life, love, and career; and I'd like to teach you how to start finding and restoring your life purpose too

I can promise that you will never look at life the same way again.

Whether you are considering making a life transition and don't know where to begin, or stuck in the same self-defeating patterns year after year, the path of energy medicine and earth-based wisdom offers unparalleled results in creating lasting and meaningful transformation.


Magic is alive: "Montreal traffic camera captures stunning images of snowy owl in flight"

Quebec transport minister Robert Poeti shared this photograph via: Facebook

Watch the video of the capture below:

A traffic camera above a Montreal freeway has taken stunning images of a snowy owl in flight.

The bird was captured mid-air by the CCTV camera at the intersection of Autoroute 40 and the Boulevard des Sources, in the West Island of Montreal, on the morning of January 3rd, 2016.

Quebec transport minister Robert Poeti shared the photographs on Twitter and Facebook, prompting them to go viral. The snowy owl is an official symbol of Quebec and is protected from hunters in Canada.

source: The Guardian

 
Chloë Rain is a Spiritual Guide & Visionary. She is the the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement.

Chloë has had the pleasure of working with women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to self love, and experience greater fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and JOY in their lives, relationships, and finances.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and joy in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

To all the Men Who Never Loved Me, Thank You.

Be who you want, Inspiring, Poetry, Rites of Passage, TravelChloë RainComment
I guess its funny, this two-fold irony, My greatest victory was my own defeat.
— Roo Panes

To all the men who never claimed me, Thank you.

To all the men who never matched me, Thank you.

To all the men who couldn't keep me, Thank you.

To all the men who left me, Thank you.

To all the men who never loved me, Thank you.

To Each and Every One of You, I Thank You.

I send you blessings.

For you have given me the greatest love of of all time.

If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have kept searching. I wouldn't have kept looking.

I wouldn't have kept going to the next edge. 

I wouldn't have kept jumping.

I wouldn't have found what I was looking for.

The one that I have been seeking since I learned to seek something outside of myself. 

All of you, your collective loving, your integrated presence across my life's timeline, and your inevitable leaving, has changed me, molded me, burned me, healed me.

You are imprinted on my soul.

I kept searching, looking, seeking, going. The world spins and I try to out spin it.

The smaller the world gets, the faster I want to see it all, feel it all. 

BE it all.

Make it ALL, ONE.

The one who said, I will never love you the way you need to be loved. And left.

Thank you.

The tragedy of my 30s has become the miracle of my existence.

"Mutiny!" Cried my breaking heart!

Insurgence, Riot, Revolt.

Who's revolution is this anyway? 

And Who is listening to this evolutionary battle cry? and Who is calling for it?

The ONE.

Internal rebellion, radical external alteration.

A complete metamorphosis.

A total SHAKEDOWN.

A total BREAKDOWN.

Dedicated to The ONE.

The one who introduced me to sushi and jade.

Thank you.

The one who introduced me to surfing, and then left me on the beach alone, to contemplate my own bravery. Thank you.

The one who introduced me to Dubstep and Flux Pavillion with speakers that wanted to break my eardrums, and teased me in close spaces that made me wet with tears of laughter and wanting, You.

Thank you.

"Leave the past behind.

Just walk away.

When it's over and my heartbreaks, and the cracks begin to show.

Just walk away."

The one who welcomed me home to orgasm after years of of broken hearted and loveless sex, and washed away the absence of trust and held me in loving presence.

Thank you.

You helped bring me back to myself and I wanted to come.

I heard, a voice within me say clearly and loudly, over all the other ugly voices.

"I am not damaged goods."

Yes. Yesssss. OH MY GOD. YES.

Thank you.

The ones who never even tried to make me quiver and cum, wow, what you missed.

The one who could not look me in the eye, as you said goodbye. Maybe next time babe, not this lifetime.

Thank you.

The one who picked me up, brought me home, and dared to make me happy. Thank you.

The one who grabbed my hips and drew me into your mouth and I recalled what it felt like to be wanted. Thank you.

To my superhero in your spiderman underwear, I've got the sun in my heart now. 

Thank you.

The one who laid beside me and played Claude Debussy, "Claire de lune", as I closed my eyes, wanting more...

I wished the ticking of time would stop on each piano note and wistfully I wanted that I could stay alive in those moments forever.

I remembered, then, that feeling alive, is different than writing about being alive. Thank you.

For every time, the words

"I'm not the ONE."

"You are not the ONE."

Have been spoken.

To Me.

Have been written.

By Me.

My trembling heart, has grown wings.

And I have taken flight on the trade winds of sobbing storms.

My swelling expanse grew each time,

A greater wingspan, and each time I took a soaring leap at the edge of the unknown.

I have taught myself not to clutch or cling on the way down, knowing that the Coriolis effect will hoist my weeping soul, in the perfection of physics and that unwavering deflection reaction.

The wind in the valley will catch the beat of my wings, spinning me in new directions.

No longer the downward spiral, but the ascension of emotion, spirit, body, and soul.

Integration. Oh, Beautiful Science.

The doldrums are harder to predict.

Sometimes I am stuck, my sails depleted, for many weeks waiting for a proper wind.

I am struck down by the irregular storms and broken by random and periodic emotional squalls.

They clear, and leave a vast empty silence in their wake.

Then the longing begins to pick up again... and I am propelled forward, by some force greater than myself.

On the mountain top. Temple of the Moon, Cusco, Peru. September 29, 2015.

To all the Men, who never loved me, what can I say?

You were not the ONE.

I am.

I was. I will be.

Again and again and again. I am coming. I am Home. 

For all these things, I am, grateful.

For true happiness is having wings and my greatest victory has been through my own defeat.

Dedicated to THE ONE.

 
Print

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
— Carl Jung

Chloë Rain is a Spiritual Guide & Visionary. She is the the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement.

Chloë has had the pleasure of working with women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to self love, and experience greater fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and JOY in their lives, relationships, and finances.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and joy in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

What If Your Depression was leading you to your Destiny?

Be who you want, Inspiring, Landscape, Nature, Photography, Rites of Passage, TravelChloë Rain

Arctic Circle, Lofoten Islands, Norway

I had struggled with being alive and depressed for so long, it was like living the same experience year after year after year, a ground hog day of emotional hell. 

If I wasn't depressed, I wasn't happy. I was seeking something big, something satiating, but I just didn't know what it was, or where or how I was going to figure it out.

I was a fully functioning depressive, had a decent job, and kept my decent job, had friends, mostly drinking buddies, as I was also drinking most days of the week. Dinners as a single gal consisted mainly of a few favored take out places in my neighborhood.

My 20s turned into my late 20s that turned into my 30s, that turned into.... and time kept ticking and nothing had changed.  

Except the volume on my anxiety level had gone way up and the urgency to fix myself had become something like utter desperation.

There was only one thing that kept me going, kept me hoping, that one day I would fall in love and I would feel like my life had a purpose and meaning.

I had poured my heart and desperation into many journals.

I had prayed, {make that begged} God to change my life. And I wasn't even sure I believed in God. But I begged him anyway.

Then one day as I logged onto my computer in my cubicle at work the picture of the day on Bing made my heart skip a beat.

Picture of the Day on Bing. Lofoten, Islands, Norway.

When I discovered it was a picture of the Lofoten Islands in the Arctic Circle of Norway, it didn't occur to me how incredibly far away, extreme, foreign, and cold this destination was compared my cubicle at work, and the comfort of my well worn rut of a life.

I just knew I was going there.

May I add, I hadn't gone on a hike in years, didn't own any kind of clothing or gear that would even be remotely considered "outdoorsy", no less suitable for the Arctic circle. But, I contacted the only Norwegian I had ever known or met, an Ex Lover from college that I hadn't seen in 13 years and asked him:

How do I get to Lofoten from here?

What If Your Depression was leading you to your Destiny?

When I returned home to my very regular life from this dramatic "vacation", I would never be the same again. Something had been turned on inside of me. 

My search for love and the ONE had turned into an insatiable desire to find my life purpose and be happy. The search for self had been engaged, but I would only understand this in retrospect.

I had invoked a kind of self inquiry that was irreversible and would be tumultuous at times.

On the "search" for the ONE and the experience of true love, what I didn't know I was learning, being, and opening myself to, was the experience of true SELF LOVE, and in the process I was slaying all of my demons.... one by one by one....

When I returned from Norway I immersed myself in an international certification program, determined to get to the bottom of my depression and fix myself once and for all. 

I visioned, wrote methodology, and sat through hundreds of hours of courses on mental health and healing. 

I devoured research on the human psyche, I sat at the feet of Gurus, worked with a energy matchmaker, and traveled to Peru to be cleansed and blessed by a Shaman. 

I've done ceremony after ceremony, traveled the world, climbed a mountain or three, ate a bunch of cheese, drank a bunch of wine, and bought the whole bar a round of whiskey in the Arctic Circle, and came back home again, all in search of the ONE. 

And what I found was, myself. What I discovered is LOVE.

What I have learned is what it means to love oneself.

I lost it all (or so I thought), I let go of everything I ever knew or thought about myself.

I fought hard to keep up appearances, and I learned that it's easier and more freeing & even liberating to let people see you cry.

I still had aimed to play by all the rules, thinking I'd outsmart the Universe with my well thought out plans.... I'll tell you, thinking you'll outsmart the Universe with your plans is like playing Russian Roulette by yourself- don't do it man!

Don't go on this journey alone. Surround yourself with people who have walked the path before you and can hold the vision for you when things are so dark you can't see the way.

Now adventure is a huge part of my daily life and spiritual practice. You can always find yourself in nature. And you don't have to go to the Arctic Circle to get the full experience, this picture was taken an hours drive from my now home.

I would tell you to "be vulnerable" - but truthfully I didn't know what vulnerability was until I was out on a ledge, way beyond my comfort zone, got the shit kicked out of me by a good one-two from Life, and found myself questioning everything I had ever done. 

In the end, what every sucker punch had taught me, was that I hadn't been sucker punched at all, but what had happened was that the doorway to an whole new way of Life was opening, even when it felt like every single door I knocked on was being slammed shut in my face.

Is it true that love will find you when you least expect it?

No. 

That's bullshit, I have always hated that expression as a single girl.

Do you just one day show up at the destination of Self Love?

No, not exactly.

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
— Rumi

Love shows up in ways you least expect, because love is all around.

The only thing for you to do, is to create the capacity to receive LOVE.

Open your heart to see LOVE. Raise your spirit to BE LOVE.

Is it true that the journey to self love is paved with butterflies, purple ponies, romance, adventures, and happy surprises?

Yes. and No.

You're gonna lose your mind, you're gonna lose your shit, you're gonna lose your identity.

But then, then you will have everything you've ever sought. You will have gained only thing that matters.

Yourself.

Freedom. Joy. Happiness.

When you're out there on "the search" and feeling lost and down about the ways of the world, there's nothing like a good ass kicking to break you open to the miracles that happen when the-you-know-what hits the fan.

Don't cling so tightly to the pain, 'cause as cliche as it sounds, there's beauty on the other side of losing yourself- I think it's called wholeness.


There is a secret medicine given only to those who hurt so hard they can’t hope.
— Rumi
What matters is how quickly you do what your soul directs.
— Rumi

 In search of true love and meaning in my life...

In search of true love and meaning in my life...

 The Mountains near Cusco, Peru

The Mountains near Cusco, Peru


Even
After
All this time
The Sun never says to the Earth,

"You owe me."

Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky.

Hafiz


Reclaim Your Unique Vision for Your Life

A vision is not a glimpse of what will be in the future — it’s an awareness of what is already true within you, here and now.

The vision is not something you make up, it is who you were born to be. It’s your true power, your essence, your genius, and the source of your abundance.

When you are cut off from the truth of your essence, you don’t just fail to fulfill your potential, you experience many other side-effects. The challenges you face in the other areas — health, work, relationships, prosperity — are often symptoms of a disconnection from this divine pattern in you. That’s why many attempts to solve those other problems don’t work — because they’re symptoms, not the cause.

When you rediscover your vision and begin to align with the forces of nature, you activate the latent power within you and begin to dissolve many of your problems.

Chloë Rain is a Spiritual Guide & Visionary. She is the the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement.

Chloë has had the pleasure of working with women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to self love, and experience greater fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and JOY in their lives, relationships, and finances.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and joy in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

30 Years of Depression turns into something beautiful: A life worth living

Be who you want, Inspiring, Rites of PassageChloë RainComment

Warning: this post contains nudity and shocking self discoveries  {Celebrating the anniversary of my public declaration on depression}

Photographer: Talitha Bullock             "The light of a match once lit changes the darkness forever."

A couple of years ago after recovering from an autoimmune disease, adrenal system failure, and a period in my life and health I call "all systems fail".

I wanted to document for the first time feeling OK in my body. 

I made a public declaration. It changed my life. I was done with depression. Some time ago I had crossed the invisible line, I had fully recovered from a lifetime of depression.

Depression no longer described my state of being.

I yearned, I longed for REAL happiness. But I didn’t even know what that was.

There was only one voice I hadn’t listened to, the soft voice leading me into the scariest territory of my entire life: My Heart.

I used to feel like my depression was a personal descriptor, like on my driver's license it should read: 5'2", hazel eyes, depressed.  

And that's what the doctors tell you, too. I have depression, like I picked up some incurable disease along the way, some how I had contracted depression at birth and it had been a part of me for so long, I didn't know who I was without it.

When I realized that depression was no longer a constant companion, it was like waking up to a whole new person within me. A brand new life.  

Finally I could honestly claim that I was a happy person. That I liked myself, enjoyed my life, and was ok with my body. And my life was no longer distinguished by the fact that I was depressed. My life was far from perfect, I just knew I was finally on the right path

This was a groundbreaking epiphany. I wanted to document that I felt ok, with myself, perhaps more than okay and if I was ever going to feel ok in my body, the time is now.

I quit smoking, I had healed from multiple poor health diagnoses, I had watched my hair fall out from exhaustion and stress, and I was bloated and my organs were inflamed due to the autoimmune attack. I thought.... Damn IT ALL TO HELL. I want to document how comfortable I have become in my own skin.

30 Years of Depression turns into something beautiful: A life worth living and the freedom to be myself and love myself

Having battled with 30 years of depression, and having always wondered "What is wrong with me????!!"  

Once having proclaimed that I was done with depression, I wanted to right everything else I had told myself all those years, like.... "I have to make myself into someone else in order to be wanted. "

These days...

I feel purposeful.

Alive. 

I feel deep emotions; sadness and bliss. I experience defeats, devastating heartbreaks, and exquisite joys, physical pleasures and wild beauty.

I feel all of these emotional extremes.

Though, I am no longer depressed.  

And that has made all the difference.

My hope is that in sharing my story you are inspired to listen to your heart and take a stand for your own happiness, freedom and joy.

I didn't do it all by myself, it was a journey and a process. I learned a lot along the way, and it was absolutely worth it.

When you turn inward and fall in love with the truth of who you really are, You become whole despite the brokenness.
— Chloë Rain

The original blog post: TODAY I AM DONE WITH DEPRESSION

Today is a really big day, and I'm about to make a scary announcement.  I wanted to post a really awesome picture, make a grand statement, tell a fantastic story, say something profound and get a 100 Facebook likes.... but today's awareness and my declaration are a big enough statement in themselves.  

Today I am done with depression.

TODAY I AM DONE WITH DEPRESSION.

I have lived with depression, for as long as I can remember, the first time I attempted suicide I was in third grade. When I got my first high paying job out of college, and bought a bunch of grey suits on my credit card, I also started paying for therapy, as if it were a monthly utility. 

After 10 years of therapy and a couple of different anti-depression cocktails later, I was ok. But I just couldn't shrug the depression.  

I was still unhappy and unsatisfied despite all of my outward successes and accomplishments. How could this be? I had done everything right! I had followed all the rules, and I had done what I was supposed to.

I yearned, I longed, I desperately needed and wanted and desired REAL happiness. 

But I didn't even know what that was.

My brains and gumption had gotten me this far, but there was one voice I had never listened to.... the voice of my Heart, my longing, my desire.  Something inside me knew the only thing to do was start listening to that voice inside that told me to try the scary things.... to move into real happiness there was only one voice I hadn't listened to, the soft voice leading me in to the scariest territory of my living life: My Heart. 

My Heart told me to go to the Arctic Circle, and so I went. My Heart told me to move to Seattle, (my fears said No), but I went. Then My Heart started speaking up big time, and I have listened. 

I have explored deeply the inner endless caves of fear, disappointment, and hurt, and found that always the darkness could be lifted by self expression. Whether that means to express my fears, my sadness, or express myself creatively... the darkness is always lifted not by suppression but EXPRESSION.

Today I am done with depression, like an old worn out shirt that has become threadbare and soft, I used to wear it all the time, like a piece in my wardrobe that described me, was me, identified Me, as me. 

I used to feel depression was just something that described who I am.

I'm 5'2", brown hair, hazel eyes, and have depression.

But now its just an outdated unstylish thing that no longer belongs to me. Depression no longer serves me, it doesn't belong to me, its not welcome in my home.

I did arrive here without drugs or medications, but with lots and lots of support, and a shit ton of inner work, exploration, and inquiry!  Sometimes sitting in the dark.

I will always remember this day, in my personal life history, as the day I realized I had been done with depression, and recognized that it was no longer my frame of reference that colored all things.

Things I know today: I like myself. I feel purposeful. I enjoy my life and I am happy to be alive. 

I lead with my heart now, and that has made all the difference in the world.

My Heart said "I've got your back." 

Further reading:

Chloë Rain is a Spiritual Guide & Visionary. She is the the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement.

Chloë has had the pleasure of working with women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to self love, and experience greater fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and JOY in their lives, relationships, and finances.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and joy in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!