explore deeply

the art of living your life purpose

What Happens When You Give Up?

Be who you want, Healing, Learning to Love YourselfChloë Rain
Who do I become if I deny where I came from?

We have all met those kinds of people, the empty shell people. They seem normal enough, but there is something missing. You wonder what happened to them?

You wonder what made them stop trying? Or maybe they gave up on something important or gave up on a dream? You wonder when they lost that thing, that spark, that drive, but you know somewhere along the line they gave up.

Maybe, they started telling themselves that story about how life doesn’t work out for them. And once they started telling themselves that story, they’ve never been the same ever since.

After a few disappointments and regrets, it's natural to start telling ourselves that story. After a lot of disappointments and failures its natural to give up on that thing you've been trying to make happen in your life. You begin to fear that you don’t have what it takes and you tell yourself that this is as good as its ever going to get.

May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.
— Nelson Mandela

Maybe you give up on yourself in some small way and you tell yourself its no big deal. Or you decide to give up on finding real love, you tell yourself relationships are hard and people suck.

You give up on ever feeling fulfilled or figuring out what it is you really want to do with your life, because so far everything you’ve tried ends up falling short. It seems that thing you've been wanting for so long will always be just outside your grasp, and it begins to feel like mission impossible to have, achieve, receive, or be content. 

Most of us never bridge the gap between the life we aspire to lead and the life we are currently living.

We get caught up in that story we keep telling ourselves. Most of us get stuck in the gap because there is a huge gravitational pull to the familiar and we don’t realize that giving up, isn't just a one time choice, it's a choice we continue to make over and over again every time we tell ourselves that story.

I’d spent most of my adult life seeking my fortune, trying make something of myself, and get as far away as possible from my humble beginnings and the small town I had grown up in. And I guess I’d managed to do that considering I was living in about 2,780 miles away from the place I was born and my seemingly perfect urban life was a far cry from my rural roots.

Then one day there is a wake up call and I look around and everything seems to be a little less like what I thought, there is a luster to life that’s missing. And I wondered what happened?

Then returning to that place I had left behind, after seeking myself for so many years, I come to find out that the thing I was seeking was there all along, buried deep inside, in that place I had locked away after all those disappointments and regrets.

As adults, we learn to protect ourselves, emotionally, by giving up. We keep ourselves safe by denying that impulse within that is urging us to keep going and keep hoping long after we should have given up.

But life has a funny way of bringing us back to our roots and reminding us of where we came from and who we dreamed we’d be some day. Life always seems to come full circle, its as much as cliché as it is an evident truth.

The stories that unfold in our lives have such intricate and subtle beauty if we allow ourselves to open to the experience of living instead of judging ourselves based on where we think we should be or who we think we should be in our lives.

The more I have surrendered to the ebb and flow of my life, and let go of the need to know why things happen the way that they do…. the more meaning and purpose has been revealed to me in the unfolding of things.

Perhaps this is the greatest human experience, to learn to trust that by following your heart and remaining open, you will receive everything you need, and become everything you were always meant to be.

The experience of fulfillment, of finding yourself, and experiencing your dreams coming true, isn't about getting what you want, it is in learning to love who you are, and what you’ve got and where you are, right here, right now without having to go, do, or be anything else. 

Sometimes your idea of who you should be gets in the way of who you really are.
— Chloë Rain

So often, people feel like "there's got to be more to life..."

Maybe it feels like you’re missing out on your potential in life, career, or maybe you haven’t found the right partner in love… 

You need to know that your life purpose exists and who you are serves a greater purpose in this world. 

How do I know about this? 

...from my unique challenges in life, starting from when I almost died in an accident, then later was diagnosed with a debilitating auto-immune disease, and risked every thing I had ever created in order to recover my health and ultimately my happiness. 

I learned teachable techniques that helped me to grow a successful business which serves people around the world, and live a life filled with love, purpose, adventure, and miracles.  

The same techniques I've used to create a life worth living, I have taught to many people who have then become successful in life, love, and career; creative entrepreneurs and award winning artists, and I'd like to teach you how to start finding and restoring your life purpose too. I can promise that you will never look at life the same way again.

Whether you are considering making a life transition and don't know where to begin, or stuck in the same self-defeating patterns year after year, life coaching offers unparalleled results in creating lasting transformation.

Why not set up a free 30 minute consultation to see how this potent form of healing could make a difference in your life? Schedule a Free Consultation Today or Learn More Here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

Have Your New Year's Resolutions Already Failed? Here's a Better Idea...

Inspiring, Learning to Love Yourself, Life LessonsGuest Writer
Why New Year's Resolutions Fail

Statistically speaking, 80% of New Year's Resolutions fail by February.

I didn't make New Year's Resolutions this year, because I know they tend to be more of a reason to beat myself up later for failing, than helpful intentions to guide the year ahead of me.

"Every year, millions of Americans make New Year’s resolutions, but research suggests only a fraction actually keep them.

Things like weight loss and getting more exercise are typically among the most popular resolutions, but this year a new Marist poll found that “being a better person” tops the list."  

— ASHLEY WELCH CBS NEWS December 30, 2016


What was it you were wanting to change this year?

  • Is it finally time to lose those ten pounds?
  • Is it finally time to leave that job that devalues you?
  • Is it finally time to get your finances in order?
  • Is it finally time to meditate daily or ramp up your spiritual practice?
  • Is it finally time to exercise more?

This list above comes from my own resolutions made over and over again. I use the word ‘finally’ because New Year’s resolutions are sort of like those promises you make to yourself when you go to bed each night.

  • “Tomorrow” I’ll get up early and meditate.
  • “Tomorrow” I’ll eat a healthy breakfast.
  • “Tomorrow” I’ll go in and ask for a raise.
  • “Tomorrow” I’ll change my spending habits.
  • “Tomorrow” I’ll exercise first thing.

A few years ago I had the stunning revelation that “tomorrow” is ALWAYS tomorrow.

Now that may not seem stunning to you but it stopped me cold. I got it. Finally I got it!

I heard the voice of Yoda in my head saying ‘There is no TRY, only DO or not DO.”

So I stopped making New Year’s resolutions and instead started thinking about my life along certain themes. I became so enamored of this idea that I did away with resolutions entirely and focused instead on a theme that would carry me through each New Year.

CREATING THEMES INSTEAD OF RESOLUTIONS: "SIMPLIFY MY LIFE"

My first theme was ‘simplifying my life’ and in the years I worked with that theme I moved twice, each time letting go of a lot of material goods I no longer needed or wanted.

But getting rid of furniture, clothing and knick-knacks was not the real benefit of working on my theme. I also made some important changes in my work relationships and activities. So I found myself letting go of relationships that weren’t fulfilling (not easy!) and refocused my work around a few key areas instead of trying to do everything that floated into my busy brain.

MY NEXT THEME WAS: "FINISHING WHAT I START"

As a writer filled with the impulse to create I struggle with staying with one project at a time long enough to get something finished. So that theme was all about completion for me and I carried that theme with me in all areas of my life finally getting books into publishing, getting my website in the hands of developers for a redo and also completing some aspects of my legal business structure that I had put off for a while.

I also discovered that my themes tend to span years and bring lots of opportunities for growth and the empowerment of choice.  And the old themes stay with me even as I choose a new theme for the New Year. So I continue to simplify as I go and also keep the lessons in completing what I am working on before moving on to the next great idea.

MY NEXT THEME WAS: "I AM ENOUGH."

That theme proved to be a real challenge and brought me lots of opportunities for growth as I stepped into my life in all areas as ‘enough.’ Over time I found I became more confident and more at peace with all aspects of my life and definitely no longer someone willing to allow other people’s expectations to define me but it is still very much a theme in progress.

That theme led directly to my next theme which was ‘self-love – body, mind, spirit.’

With that theme in my head and heart, I released 40 excess pounds and got healthier on many levels. I focused on self-forgiveness and released a lot of unresolved emotion around past events.

AND THAT THEME HAS LED TO MY THEME FOR 2017:  "RELEASING THE PAST."

This year I will work to align my thoughts, emotions and actions with presence.  For me, and maybe for you, it is so easy to get stuck in the mind ruminating over mistakes, poor choices and missed opportunities. Even though I know the past is over and done, it creeps into my present and affects my actions and choices.

But not any more.

MY NEW MANTRA IS: "ONLY TODAY EXISTS."

I like to create mantras and affirmations around my theme for the year and this one snaps me into presence like no other. Just like all my other themes, my new focus will bring many challenges as I release long-standing patterns of procrastination, prioritizing others’ needs before my own or holding back from fears that originated in past events. I know my theme will continue to change my life in ways large and small.

HOW TO WORK WITH THEMES FOR 2017

I invite you to join me in working with Themes rather than resolutions this year and begin your process of first envisioning the life you want and then choosing a theme that will support your most cherished dreams.

To help you I have created an e-workbook called Themes and Dreams that explains the process and includes worksheets for you to use to create your own theme(s) for 2017.

Just click here to get my free e-book – it is my Gift for you!

Wishing your 2017 to be filled with love, light and peace.

Reposted with permission by Cathleen O'Connor on Numerologist.com


ABOUT CATHLEEN O'CONNOR

Cathleen O’Connor PhD is a metaphysical teacher, best-selling author, speaker and intuitive coach who loves helping people harness the power of the mind and heart to co-create miracles in all areas of life. She has been quoted in the Huffington Post as a dream interpretation expert and featured as a work-life balance expert in various publications. Connect with Cathleen at cathleenoconnor.com

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

The Daily Routines of Famous Creative People

Be who you want, InspiringChloë Rain

Turns out great minds don’t think alike. Discover how some of the world’s most original artists, writers and musicians structured their day, based on ‘Daily Rituals’ by Mason Currey. When you go to the interactive map by clicking the infographic below you can filter the different categories by toggling on or off, and hover over the colored bars to learn more about the daily routines.

Check out this infographic that Podio.com created and click the picture to go to a very cool INTERACTIVE infographic outlining the daily routines of famous creative people.

Haruki Murakami works on creative projects from 4am to noon. He spends the next hour exercising and the rest of the day on food/leisure until he goes to bed at 9pm.

Maya Angelou woke up at 5am and writes from about 6:30-3 and the rest of the day eating and having leisure time except for a half hour of creative time at 7:30.


Want to develop a better work routine? Discover how some of the world's greatest minds organized their days.
Click image to see the interactive version (via Podio).
Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.
— PABLO PICASSO
Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

Pickles are cucumbers. And other obvious but important life altering lessons.

Inspiring, PhotographyChloë Rain

Clock tower in Musée d'Orsay, Paris, France. ©ChloëRain January 6th, 2013

"It's over. One way or another, everything comes to an end. It's all over some day. That's perhaps one of the most fascinating truths we know about the entire universe. The stars die, the galaxies die, the planets die. And people die too."  - There are Things You Should Know, Stieg Larsson  See his letter to his partner she found after is untimely death (at the bottom of the blog).

 

Tonight I had a great epiphany, I turned left outside my door instead of right.  I walked down a different street with completely different energy and this changed everything.

Just when I thought I had it all figured out.  

Just when I thought I knew what I was doing here in Paris, and why I am leaving.

But tonight, tonight everything changed.

    When I was working in hotel development, travel was inevitable. When I landed my "dream job" years ago the travel portion of my job was sexy, 5 years into it and getting on an airplane was like doing laundry; mundane, routine, dreaded, and inescapable.  Life was something like, 7 airports in 4 days or 13 legs, one trip. Modus operandi: dump contents of suitcase at the front door, reload, check in, and then off again to the airport again. My parents once laughed and called me George Clooney from "Up in the Air". I didn't think it was funny. You know, that's a depressing movie. It doesn't have a happy ending.

    I tell you all this to say, I didn't enjoy traveling anymore. I don't like small talk on airplanes or in taxi cabs. So when I got picked up by this Rastafarian taxi cab driver with dreadlocks at the airport in Denver and he started to chat with me, I was less than thrilled.

    He was chatting on in this way about his day and told me that he's just recently had a daughter. He has this funny way of accenting different words that makes me wonder if he just hasn't smoked too much pot and then he asks me a question I will remember for the rest of my life:

    "Do you know pickles are cucumbers?"

    "I'm sorry, what?"

    "Did you know that pickles are cucumbers?"

    "Um. Yeah. My mom and I used to make pickles when I was a kid. I love pickles."

    "I was in the grocery store today. And I love pickles. And I was putting my groceries on the belt and the guy was scanning my pickles and then he weighed my cucumbers.

    and.  bam.  it.  hit.  me.

    PICKLES ARE CUCUMBERS.

    "I saw the whole thing, right there, in front of my eyes at the grocery store. I realized pickles are cucumbers. How long have I been eating pickles, and cucumbers, and I didn't know?! I didn't know!!!! How could I not know. ?  Today I've just been totally blown away thinking about all the other things in my life that are that OBVIOUS but I just never saw it before?"

    PICKLES ARE CUCUMBERS.

    And Oh my God I laughed.... I think I would have wanted to cry if I was in touch with my feelings in that moment.  

    SOME THINGS ARE JUST THAT OBVIOUS AND THAT LIFE CHANGING.

    A few simple and perhaps obvious things that I have recently discovered to be entirely life altering:

    1. Once in a great while, turn left instead of right when you go out your door. 
    2. A red rose in a vase on a table, positively affects your dinner experience, no matter how unremarkable the food. Put some rose petals on the bedsheets or in a bathtub, and you can sop me up with a piece of bread like warm butter.
    3. Be nice. You could get laid or otherwise change someone else's day in a positive way.
    4. Heartbreak doesn't kill you. It feels like it should, but it doesn't actually kill you.
    5. Pickles are cucumbers.

    So its January 6th and everyone in America is working on their New Year's Resolutions.

    Since I've been in Paris, I've stopped looking at myself.

    Not entirely, but at home in Seattle, I have two huge mirrors in my bedroom (even though I've read according to feng shui principles, mirrors in the bedroom are as bad for your love life as herpes.)

    I have two huge mirrors and one is full length and most of the time I walk naked from having just showered to the bedroom and I check out "how things are going" in the aging process.

    Since I've been in Paris, I don't have mirrors in my bedroom and furthermore, I haven't stood in front of the mirror naked and looked at my belly and thought, "Oh we're going to have to do something about this."

    I believe that my belly is still there, I felt it the other night after saying YES! to a plate of cheese for dinner accompanied by a loaf of bread that "looked" like too much for one person, but in fact was not.  

    What is different is that I haven't looked at myself and thought "Oh we're going to have to do something about this".

    I have been going about my day, without thinking that I have to be somebody else before I can like myself.

    I haven't been inspecting my flaws on a twice daily basis, naked in the mirror, and I haven't had the internal dialogue about all the things I need to do before I can walk out the front door and feel good about myself.

    Trust me, there have been other internal dialogues, but this hasn't been one of them.

    I haven't looked at my physical flaws in the mirror and told myself "Not today Chloë, some day when you're skinnier, your skin is clearer, your eye makeup is more perfect, and you didn't have that last glass of wine before bed last night... that will be your day. But not today."

    If pickles are cucumbers and walking out my front door and turning left instead of right changes everything..... I'm wondering if I don't look at my flaws today, maybe someone else won't see them either.  

    If I'm not focused on my flaws and the things that need to be fixed before I can be loved and be smart and be sexy and be creative and be worthy and be liked, maybe this person I'm talking to doesn't know what my flaws are and doesn't see them either.

    And maybe he thinks I'm beautiful because all he sees in this moment, is me.

    And maybe these people like me because I'm being me, not pretending to be some better version of me, that I haven't quite yet fulfilled.  Today, I'm not stepping out my front door with my flaw foot first.

    Isn't that what we all want anyway?  

    For someone to show up right in this moment, just the way we are on January 6th before we've failed (or accomplished) all of our New Year's resolutions and to think we're fucking fantastic.

    Today. January 6th. Today is our day.

    Sounds obvious. Could be life altering.


    Richard Wiseman, a psychology professor at the University of Hertfordshire, set out to investigate lucky people and their good luck. He was curious to understand why it seemed that lucky people got lucky, had more lucky breaks, and seemed to always be in the right place at the right time. Over the course of ten years he studied “lucky” and “unlucky” people who answered a newspaper ad and described themselves as lucky or unlucky- he found that people who described themselves as lucky tend to win more at life. In his book The Luck Factor, Wiseman describes the 10 year experiment:

    I gave both lucky and unlucky people a newspaper, and asked them to look through it and tell me how many photographs were inside. On average, the unlucky people took about two minutes to count the photographs, whereas the lucky people took just seconds. Why?
    Because the second page of the newspaper contained the message: 'Stop counting. There are 43 photographs in this newspaper.' This message took up half the page and was written in type that was more than 2 inches high. It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it.
    For fun, I placed a second large message halfway through the newspaper: 'Stop counting, tell the experimenter you have seen this and win £250.' Again, the unlucky people missed the opportunity because the were still too busy looking for photographs.

    Through his research findings, Dr. Wiseman proposed that lucky people actually created their own luck because they lived their lives based on four principles:

    • They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities,
    • Make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition,
    • Create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations,
    • And adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.

    Wiseman found that unlucky people miss chance opportunities because they are too focused on looking for something else. Unlucky people we anxious, lucky people were relaxed. Sounds too simple, doesn't it?

    Unlucky people go to parties intent on finding their perfect partner and so miss opportunities to make good friends. They look through newspapers determined to find certain types of job advertisements and as a result miss other types of jobs. Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore see what there is rather than just what they are looking for.

    Simply stated lucky people are more relaxed, open and remain curious about the current situation at hand rather than become anxious, single focused and future oriented.

    Again, sounds obvious. Could be life altering.

    The good news is that they also discovered that in fact the unlucky people could learn the four principles of lucky people and improve their luck, their lives and their happiness by 80%!

    One unlucky subject said that after adjusting her attitude - expecting good fortune, not dwelling on the negative- her bad luck had vanished.

    Sometimes in life, it is the most obvious epiphany that can change everything.

    Further reading (sources):


    "There Are Things I Want You to Know" About Stieg Larsson and Me

    Chloë has had the pleasure of working with countless women and men all over the globe to heal their relationship with self, success, money and love so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and experience confidence and JOY in their lives, life purpose, relationships and finances.

    Many of her clients are seasoned professionals, entrepreneurs, and professional creatives and performers who also find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating joy and freedom in their personal and professional lives. To book a free consultation with Chloë go → here.

    Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

    39 Ways to Live a Happier Life

    Be who you want, Inspiring, LaughChloë Rain

    In honor of life, adventure, the pursuit of happiness, and in celebration of the New Year....... I am sharing 39 things that have changed my life at depth, things I consider cherished lessons, turning points, milestones, never going back moments, and "I'll never f*#$%&@ do that again" advice... 

    1. Do something that you were supposed to do when you were a child or a teenager, but never did because you weren't cool enough, or you didn't want to make a fool of yourself. You're cool enough now. And even if you're not, who fucking cares? You're an adult, you can do whatever you want, even the scary stuff.

    2. Climb a mountain, even a small one. Get up to a place where you can see life from a different perspective... take a breath, look around.

    3. Pause, take a moment to remind yourself how far you've come. Think about how un-clever you once were, and how you don't think that way anymore... feel good.

    4. Get caught in the rain. Purposely get wet when it's raining, because you want to. Don't run from the rain, embrace it, in your own present way. Notice how you feel.

    5. Go to your local used book store or library that sells used books for a $1 and pick up a book that catches your attention. Buy the book and know you've just contributed to the health of the planet by recycling that book.  Flip through the pages like shuffling cards, open it to a page, read what it has to say. Maybe its meaningful, maybe its not. It doesn't matter, you paid a dollar for it. Play like you're gambling every time you shuffle the pages.

    6. Pick flowers for your home or your beside table. I used to buy a dozen roses for myself every week at Whole Foods, when the blossoms started to wilt, I would go to the beach or go on a hike and I would say a prayer on every single rose petal and toss them one by one into the water. I would imagine the thousands of prayers I have spoken and released over the years all floating around.  When money was tight and flowers were not part of my weekly budget, I would go to my local park at sunset and pick flowers, or steal a blossom from a blooming tree on my neighborhood walks. {Be considerate of your neighbors gardens, don't take too much and always send gratitude to your source. Tread lightly in your neighborhood... I have picked flowers on the side of the road, or flowers sticking out of sidewalks in the city...}

    7. Wash and change your bed sheets regularly. Good living at its best is slipping into crisp clean sheets. 

    8. Have lots of pillows all around your house. Sleep with them, lay around with them in your living room. I have 4 sets of pillows on my bed (that's 8 pillows to one girl).

    9. Listen to the bird songs. Get curious. 

    10. Treat yourself regularly, small simple treats. Like a root beer float or lifesavers at the grocery store checkout line.

    11. Give gifts regularly, they could be small anonymous gifts, like paying someone's parking meter or extra tipping at your favorite coffee shop.

    12. Look people in the eye while you're checking out, no matter if you're at the gas station, the sandwich shoppe, or the dentist. See what they're saying with their eyes.

    13. Write note cards to people who pop into your mind and send them, just thinking of you.

    14. Go on regular picnics.  Even when my budget went from expensive bottles of Sancerre and exotic cheeses to 2 Buck Chuck and $2 end samples from the cheese bin at Whole Foods, regular picnics were a rich treat for sky gazing, contemplation, grounding and centering.

    15. Have a soundtrack to your life- make a playlist of your favorite songs, or songs that inspire you, make you feel better, or lift your spirits.  Give your sound track a name like "My Epic Life Soundtrack for Greatness"  or "Paris Love Affair" or whatever it is that you fantasize about regularly.

    16. Roll the windows down sometimes. When you're in the passenger side, hang your head out the window (safely), or your feet, or just do that thing with your arm and your fingers like you're making a wave as the wind gushes underneath your wing.

    17. Save a picture to your screen saver, either on your phone or computer that symbolizes something you want for yourself.  For several months I had a picture of a couple kissing in front of the pyramid at the Louvre, for some reason this symbolized true romance to me at the time.... I didn't know it yet, but within 6 months I would be having my own love affair in Paris. I realized later that I had programmed myself for that potential reality in my life.

    18. Take baths regularly. Like real baths, in the tub style. This goes for you men, too.

    19. Downsize your life.

    20. Think about how relatively big your current house is compared to the majority of people who live on this planet. Consider living in a smaller house, and yet feeling like you have more space in your life, more freedom, more expansiveness.

    21. Think about a teacher in school who made an impact on your life and realize what they were up against in their personal life to make the decision to be a school teacher, perhaps feel grateful they listened to their calling and were there to help you, despite their own personal sacrifices.

    22. Don't take yourself too seriously.

    23. You didn't fail that bad, it wasn't as fatal as you thought.

    24. People already forgot.

    25. Don't keep putting your happiness off into the future. Even if you hate your life right now, try to find one thing that is hilarious enough for you to laugh at yourself, so that you can find the humor in life. That's really all it's about, anyway.

    26. Make something to share with others, bake bread or cookies, or make beer, something you want to eat, later, eventually. See what happens when you put effort into making something you will invite someone to eat or drink with you.

    27. Build a fire, in a fireplace, a fire pit, a campfire, on the beach. Learn what it takes to make a good fire.

    28. Realize your connectedness to everything around you, then expand your realization to how connected you are to the people in your life. Just by thinking of them you are connected to them.
    29. Re-connect to something that you put aside a long time a go, be it a childhood passion or a teenage obsession. Think about what you loved to do as a kid and then go and do that... See how you feel. Is there anything you’ve been wanting to do for a while but you haven’t made time for it? NOW IS THE TIME.
    30. Make time to be by yourself. Even just a few minutes during the day can help you connect to yourself rather than being caught up in outside forces.

    31. Write down the things that you truly value. Go back to this list regularly… update the list. Check on this list to see if the things you are doing and spending your time on are in alignment with the things you say you truly value.

    32. Go on mundane adventures, at least one weekly. Often times we think we have to plan something big, or an adventure takes money and time we don't have. But when you set a goal to explore somewhere once a week, be it in your neighborhood, or a short drive from your home, or even a walk in a different direction outside your house, you do not know what is waiting for your on the other side of intentional awareness. A whole new world.

    33. Fantasize regularly about an amazing sexual encounter you once had or dream of having. Let yourself feel completely satisfied in the end.

    34. When you wake up in the morning drink one beautiful, cool but not cold glass of clean water. Before you drink the water look into the glass and imagine that you are filling the glass with pure love, and that the water is pure and loving energy. Drink the glass of water like you are drinking a glass full of love potion.

    35. Introduce yourself to new music, regularly, especially go and see live music in small venues. Listen to the lyrics, let the music make your body move... allow yourself to "look silly" dancing, just so you remember how it feels to dance. There are no rules here, no directions needed.
    36. Make something just because.  Create something, or do something just for the sake of self-expression. Write, draw, create, paint, cook, make love, make love to yourself. Allow it all to be ok.

    37. Remind yourself how important YOUR LIFE IS.  Make sticky notes that remind you of the importance of being you and that let you know that you are special and unique.  Set reminders on your phone with your values, or things that you intend to be, or to experience in your life.

    38. You are a DIVINE HUMAN BEING. There is no other speck of stardust in the Universe just like you. No one else thinks your thoughts, feels your feelings, or has your desires, or is capable of doing the things you want to do, in the way that you and only you can do them.

    39. You are an individual expression of multiverse life force creation energy. Never forget the source of your power. There is NO ONE else in all the Universes like you.

    The way to find out who you are is not by comparing yourself with others, but by looking to see whether you are fulfilling your own potential in the best way you know how.
    — Osho
    Life your Purpose
    You’ll never look back, but you’ll never be the same. In a good way... but its wild to realize that you don’t stay the same, everything you thought you were goes away, then the real you shows up, and you don’t even know her... but you like her
    — Chloë Rain
    Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little coarse, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice? Up, again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.
    — Ralph Waldo Emerson
    # 26 Bake something! I have made many a friend over home cookies and pies, and guess what? I actually enjoying making them for people. Figure out what you enjoy and share it, just because.

    # 26 Bake something! I have made many a friend over home cookies and pies, and guess what? I actually enjoying making them for people. Figure out what you enjoy and share it, just because.

    Life is a great adventure, go play outside. Quinault Rainforest, Olympic Peninsula ©ChloëRain

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    Bursting into flames part 2....

    Chloë Rain

    You are provided for. You are never alone. 

    2012-02-05 2012-02-05 001 016.JPG
    2012-02-05 2012-02-05 001 013.JPG

    The day after the Superbowl and the day after I spent 6 hours sitting on the beach in silence, waiting for a sign, looking for Orca whales, and hoping not to burst into flames, and saw one of the best sunsets of my life thus far, was Monday.  

    Its Monday, mid February, and my Christmas tree is still sitting on my 2nd story balcony patiently waiting for me to make friends and have a bonfire on Golden Gardens Beach and burn its needles in celebration of friendship and the New Year.

    After witnessing the accident New Year's Eve, that's when I started talking to God and then God started talking back, and I still wasn't used to this line of communication, and still wasn't really sure if I hadn't just lost my mind and gone crazy from being so alone for so long. 

    I felt like I was going to burst into flames if I didn't have some intimate touch, my soul was screaming out for real physical and emotional intimacy. I couldn't stand to hear my self think any longer. For so long I had compartmentalized my spiritual self and my ongoing struggles with depression from my outward appearance and personal expression but the boundaries had started to break.  From the outside I had everything going for me, on the inside I was slowly dying.  What started to frighten me was that death seemed closer to me than ever, I felt an honest fear that death was coming for me and I wasn't ready to go.  Not like this.

    In future months, physical illness began to surface in ways that I could no longer ignore, I saw the writing on the wall. The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, I was diagnosed with an "auto-immune" disease, which just meant that my body was attacking itself.  

    Why would my body attack itself?  

    I had all the precursors of MS (Multiple Sclerosis) and this scared the shit out of me.  I was going for blood tests sometimes twice a week.  Finally, I realized, the doctors didn't know what they were looking for. And that was an ah-ha moment.  

    My red blood cells were mutated, my body was attacking itself and I had been prescribed hormones that I would have to be on for the rest of my life. No one had any answers and I still felt and looked like absolute shit. Someone told me, you're getting old, that's just the way it is. And I refused to believe that. My whole body was swollen and I thought I looked like an inflated puffer fish.

    "You're getting fat, that's what happens when you get old," people would say. WTF? I started to see, that this is what happens when you don't take care of yourself. And on a spiritual level my soul was suffering because I wasn't listening to my heart and following through on my God given purpose in this world, and on a physical level this had manifested in my body as my own systems that keep me alive had begun to assault my self in disgust.

    Since I hadn't burst into flames yet, I was determined to channel this energy in a constructive way and burn my Christmas tree, with or without friends.  The guy friend, whose truck and help had gotten my tree to my house in December was not available to help me take the tree to the beach.  

    I went to three stores in my neighborhood looking for rope to tie the tree to my Jetta's roof.  ROPE, is an important survival thing to have in one's home. No one sells rope anymore. WTF.

    So I called my friend. I know you can't help me with my tree tonight, but can I at least borrow your bungee cords and straps for my car?  Then he said the magic words:  

    "Sure. But I don't know how you're going to get that tree on your car and to the beach by yourself."

    He may as well as challenged me to a dual to the death.  

    BECAUSE NOW I WAS DETERMINED TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN BY MYSELF.

    Meanwhile, the sun had gone down. I went to my second story balcony and threw my tree down to the street level and it bounced next to my car.  And as it bounced and then rolled next to my car in the dark, I got a little tingling feeling like I had just gotten myself in over my head. 

    So I go downstairs to assess the situation. My tree had been drying out for almost two months and had become almost as wide as my car is high, and the tree trunk was longer than my roof and trunk together.  Standing beside my tree, its branches completely outstretched and unbending, next to my car, put the entire situation into perspective.

    I was in over my head, but I was completely committed, there was no throwing that thing back on my balcony, and there was no way I was going to back down from "I don't know how you're going to do this by yourself."

    I'm so doing this by myself. Its dark and I'm wrestling with this monster in my driveway. The first time I put the tree on the top of my car, I realize its actually too WIDE, and I have to wrangle it down again and use a 100 bungee cords to bend the branches inward, wrap a few cords around the center and back up in the roof it goes.  

    This probably takes and hour or more.... I get in my car. Looking through the windshield, the front of the trunk sticks out in front of my windshield and looking in my rear view mirror, I can see the top of the tree hangs off the back of my trunk. I've got it strapped down in as many ways and places as I know how, straps through my doors and hanging over my head in the drivers seat.

    Fuck, I'm in over my head. But I'm totally committed. I can't put it back, and I can't leave it on the top of my car.  I sit there in my parking space for a while. I have one choice, to see if this thing stays on the roof. I back out of my driveway and slowly go up the hill from my house..... seems to be staying, hasn't moved. Ok. I'm scared that someone in my neighborhood is going to call the police. I don't even know if its legal the way I have my tree strapped to my car, its just too big to be transported like this. And its February and I have a Christmas tree strapped to my car. But I'm committed. 

    Ok.

    I make it down the back side of Queen Anne hill and I'm sitting at the light to turn right and go over Ballard Bridge. This is it, I'm totally committed. If this tree comes off the back of my car going 50 miles an hour over the bridge, I'll just have to figure something out. Please God, let this work. Green light. Ok. GO. 

    Pedal on the gas, picking up speed, the bridge is in sight.... looks like its staying. As I hit the bridge, full speed, with my tree puffed out on the top of my car and the straps flapping in the wind. I think: 

    "I totally GOT this."

    Making it over the Ballard Bridge, I'm feeling like a total badass.  Perhaps a country badass with a Christmas tree, but a badass none the less. 

    I make it to the beach and its about 9 PM by this time.  Its dark, though its almost a full moon. When I take the tree off my car, I realize its not going back on again, and so this means, I'm totally committed to burning this damn tree on the beach by myself.  I didn't bring any wine with me, just in case I got arrested, I didn't want to be under the influence. I also had not brought any lighter fluid with me, I was determined that I would burn this thing naturally, and had even brought an old vision board with me to ignite the fire in complete symbolism.  Silly actually, looking back on it now. I didn't know anything about burning pine trees, cause I was not prepared for what happened.

    I drag the tree 50 yards out to the beach to one of the empty fire pits, I don't have a flash light or anything so I'm fumbling around in the dark and I stand the tree up in the fire pit, and I realize. "Holy shit, the tree is too big for the fire pit, the limbs stick out over the metal surround and so the trunk doesn't sit down on the ground and the tree is almost 11 feet tall to begin with and now its towering over my head in all of its silent grace. I have all over body tingling, I'm totally in over my head, and I'm totally committed."

    10.5 feet of pure Christmas tree joy turns into 20 feet of raging fire in .25 seconds! I wrangled my tree to the top of my Jetta, drug it 50ft across the beach and set it on fire with two matches and an old wish list of dreams. Under the full moon I thought I might just burst into flames.

    Ok. 

    Here goes.  I placed my vision board under the bottom branches and lit the edges in a couple of places.  In my naiveté I was thinking that the tree would slowly catch fire and as the flames would lovingly engulf the tree, I would sit and watch the fire, and be warmed from within.

    This is not how it goes.

    In the first few fractions of a second I actually think that maybe it wont catch fire at all.  I mean the thought goes through my head, but then the bottom branches do catch fire, and in the next few fractions of a second the tree EXPLODES into 20 feet of raging flame.  

    HOLY SHIT. 

    My purse is next to fire pit and I abandon it there as I jump and fall back into the sand, scrambling to get away from the explosion.  

    Oh MI GOD.

    And as I scramble to my feet and check myself to see that I actually have NOT burst into flames myself. I hear voices screaming and feet running towards me.

    "HOLY SHIT! Did you see that??? OMG. "

    "That's fucking crazy man." 

    Now there's a group of people standing around me and we're all staring at the gigantic flaming mass that was my Christmas tree.   

    The guy standing next to me says, "Did you do this all by yourself? "  

    Yes, I'm here alone.

    "Do you want some wine?" he asks as he thrusts a bottle towards me.  

    "YES, please!"

    "This is fucking awesome." someone says.  "Holy shit we're glad you showed up, we were just about to run out of firewood. Mind if we join you?" 

    Um. NOT AT ALL.  Mind if I join you?

    And as I'm sitting around the fire pit introducing myself to a bunch of new friends and sharing sips of wine out of the bottle and talking about travel experiences and life, I hear that voice in my head, the one I know comes from that other higher place.

    "You are always provided for. You are never alone."

    And so it is.

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    Bursting into flames....

    Chloë Rain

    Feb 5, 2012 the day I sat looking for Orca Whales for 6 hours

    When I started talking to the Universe, and the Universe started talking back to me, I found it best to listen.... that was when miracles started unfolding in my life.

    There are a few poignant moments that I recall in years past, when I received what I would consider direct information from the Universe, Divine Source, ONE, my highest self, the voice of [insert] whatever term floats your boat here....

    I was following all the rules, doing "everything right". Why had my life turned out so lack luster, so devoid of, well, LIFE?

    I found myself in a five year dead end relationship with my corporate job and no other love interests in my life, I started to wonder what the hell had gone wrong with my life.

    All my well meaning yet married girlfriends, suggested I try online dating, since I "wasn't putting myself out there".  I remember saying: 

    I'd have a better chance praying to God to send me a husband then finding him on e.ffing.harmony and that's when it occurred to me, I would have a better chance turning to God for help, and so I did.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not a religious person, nor was I raised with religion, but when I started communicating with that "infinite intelligence" outside of myself, that place of wisdom and higher KNOWing, have you, that is when life started to become more meaningful, that's when life started to become worth living. 


    I'm a big fan of Christmas, and every year I make a big deal to get a big ass Christmas tree. My obsession with having a spirited Christmas tree didn't come from years of happy family gatherings singing carols around the tree as a child, in fact just the opposite, and so when I became an adult living far away from family I decided to reclaim Christmas, and make the biggest declaration for happiness I could come up with, or at least that I could fit into my house, and so that's when I started with the tradition of the 10 foot Christmas tree.

    When I went Christmas tree hunting my first year in Seattle I told my companion "Go Big or Go Home" and I wasn't fucking around. With his help, I brought home a 10 and a half foot tree.  I had a ten foot ladder to put lights on the tree and I'd never been so proud.

    1st Pacific Northwest Christmas Tree, Dec 2011

    1st Pacific Northwest Christmas Tree, Dec 2011

    On New Years day, I went to Ballard Beach (Golden Gardens) because it was sunny and beautiful and people were burning their Christmas trees on the beach, roasting marshmallows and having jolly good times, children frolicking around in swim suits and a few nuts doing the "polar bear plunge" in water I wouldn't dare get into on a sunny day in August.

    I sat there alone, observing the families and groups of friends celebrating and enjoying the company of each other and I thought, that would be a good tradition to begin, burn the Christmas tree on the beach in friendship and celebration of the New Year. Though I didn't have any friends yet to call on and celebrate the coming new year, I was determined to begin this new tradition.

    So my 10 and a half foot Christmas tree got taken down sometime in January, and moved to my second story balcony in preparation for the tradition I was determined to begin.  

    The Universe had begun speaking to me via communication systems that I'd never experienced before. I had always kept my spirituality (and my depression) private, but now I was beginning to come a little undone and the inside things were starting to pop out in ways out of my control...

    I found myself at the grocery store, needing to tuck my hands in to my pockets, willing my hands to listen to the voice of reason, because some strange and intense force had taken over my extremities. I felt compelled to reach out and touch the guy bagging my groceries.

    I was totally freaked out by this.  Totally freaked out.

    I am standing in line at the check out and the guy behind the counter is bagging my groceries and I'm thinking in inside my head, oh my god, I am compelled to reach out and touch this person, I must lay my hands on this person. I have a message for him, I don't know what it is, but I must reach out and I must tell him what that message is.

    I didn't know what to do with myself.

    I ran from the store and locked myself into my house in deep contemplation, teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown.

    Then its February and I plan to burn my Christmas tree on the beach in celebration of life and friendship and all that, but as the weeks go by my Christmas tree is drying out on my porch and Christmas becomes a distant memory and I haven't roused anyone I know to come with me to have a bonfire at Golden Gardens Park.  

    I got invited to several super bowl parties, but when I woke up on Super Bowl Sunday, I felt like I was going to burst into flames.

    I distinctly remember the sensation of catching on fire. Like I might combust if I didn't have an intimate physical connection with another human being. I just wanted to be touched. I wanted to feel touch and know intimacy so intensely, I felt like ripping all my clothes off and running through the streets naked, bursting into flames.

    I woke up in extreme heightened sensitivity. I knew I couldn't go to a Super Bowl party, I didn't know what to do with myself. I just knew I was going to burst into flames and set people on fire if I touched them. 

    February 4th, 2012 Golden Gardens Park

    I had heard the day before that, people had witnessed Orca whales swimming by Golden Gardens, and so instead of going to a Super Bowl party I went and sat on the beach, wrapped in multiple blankets in the freezing cold, observing the surf, wave after wave come in and go out, hoping not to burst into flames, and wanting to see a whale swim by, so that I would know its going to be Okay.

    I sat on the beach unmoving, for six hours and watched the sun go down. I never saw an Orca whale, but I did catch the most awesome sunset of my entire life.  

    I didn't burst into flames.

    Bursting into flames... part 2... YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. 

    (Coming Saturday Dec 31st)

    Feb 5, 2012

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    What if your plans aren't working?

    Chloë Rain
    What to do when your plans are not working

    Surrender.

    Surrender.

    Surrender.

    You see, I used to be the one with a plan.

    The plan was to work real hard, manage to bust 6 figures on my annual company paycheck, be a consummate professional, all the while being funny and sexy enough to attract a husband, get married in some conventional way, have a gym membership, buy a house, build a home, raise a family, renovate the house, add a bathroom, continue investing in my 401K for retirement, watch kids grow up, downsize house (after expanding several times) when kids go to college, continue to keep up my good looks, keep husband interested in regular sex with me and me alone, learn to be a good housewife.

    Bake things.

    Buy things that make me happy, like shoes.

    Go on vacation once a year, someplace me and the hubbie can agree on. Buy new luggage that matches my new shoes for the once a year vacation. Hope me and hubbie still have good sex on the once a year vacation.

    That was it. That was my plan.

    But my plans didn't work out. Come to think of it, I'm not sure who's plan that was, or when I began believing in it, but for as long as I can remember I had been running on someone else's plan. Someone else's idea of who I should be.

    And the goal was to somewhere, somehow attain happiness, but every time I showed up at some milestone of success and achievement, with new shoes on, I never found happiness there.

    Or a husband, or even love. In fact when I started to get really honest with myself, happiness seemed like the ever elusive golden carrot, to be strived for but never achieved. And love and connection were distant memories, like childhood fables I had once read about in The Brothers Grimm.

    You see, my plans weren't working for me any longer. The charade was beginning to fail (along with my health) and I started to see the people around me like dancing puppets, all snagged, entangled, and chained to these ways of doing things that were supposed to lead to happiness and yet what I saw, what I was witnessing around me and in my own life looked and felt nothing like happiness.  

    Why do people freak out so much about their plans? AND why do they make your plans their business!? Why is it that, about three questions in to meeting someone, they want to know what's your name, are you married, and what do you do?

    WHAT's YOUR PLAN? And how does my plan size up to yours? Who's got the bigger plan? And who's further along with their plans? 

    How could I possibly exist in this society without a plan? Man, do I have some freaking nerve showing up in this world proclaiming I want to just BE, me.

    To desire to live without a plan and therefore to break all of our societal conventions, there simply must be something wrong.

    There must be something wrong with me, because I so strongly desire to feel alive and do only things that make me feel more alive and to really reach out and touch the beauty in the world and grasp the magic of living that I am willing to risk everything in order to feel alive, and BE happy.

    I ask you, how are your plans working out?

    Have you reached the golden carrot?

    Life is what you make it.

    We, who choose to break the mold, explore the world, and live on our own terms, learn to truly be alive, and WE are no different from YOU.  

    What it took for me to start living a life on my own terms is the same stuff that you've got inside of you.

    Anyone living a truly extra-ordinary life, started in just the same place that you may find yourself, right this minute. Alive, in fear, questioning, wondering…

    You see, this moment can be different, if you choose. Tomorrow is a clean slate. The New Year is full of infinite possibilities. It boggles the mind.

    You see, your plan, at least the one your soul set up for you, is to live a life truly engaged, alive, inspired, and set on fire.  To live in the world as the person you were truly meant to be, on your own terms.

    You, the doer of extraordinary things, things only you can do. Experiencing all the beauty that exists in the world, that perhaps you never had the eyes to see before.

    You the lover of all things, making real gestures of grandeur, marked with hope and loving with utter open abandon.

    May you be blessed with clarity. Thank you for seeking, thank you for connecting with me here, thank you for daring to be true to you.

    Thank you for walking with me on this journey.

    With Love, Chloë

    It’s not crazy to want to be free, or to craft movies that change the world, or work towards bringing nutrition to a health-starved country, or say the things you need to say and help the people you need to help.  It’s not crazy to want to be seen, heard, recognized and maybe even celebrated all while having the time of your life. It’s not crazy to want an amazing, true life. Really, it’s crazy to deny the love that lives within you.- Tama Kieves

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    Happy Holidays! Abundant Blessings to You!

    VideoChloë Rain
    Happy Holidays Winter Solstice Fire Celebration

    JOY to You this SEASON!

    Regardless of your holiday traditions, this time of year can be honored in reflection and spent with the ones you wish to be with.  Take time today to receive and be full with the gifts of spirit.

    Winter Solstice is one of the most powerful points of the year as the axis of the Earth pauses, shifts and moves in the opposite direction. For three days around the solstice points we experience the power of the standstill point and the shift of direction.

    The Sun is at its furthermost southern point gifting the Southern Hemisphere with summer, while the Northern Hemisphere is at its farthest point from the Sun giving us the shortest days and longest nights of the year.  

    This time of year the energy is of going in, reflection, thoughtfulness, tenderness & self compassion, darkness, and the ultimate return of the light.

    Don’t pressure yourself too much to make changes or be out in world right now… let the energies build slowly within you and by spring you’ll be bursting with new energy and inspirations. This is the nature of things…slow and subtle, as you consistently nurture yourself with compassion, great joy will be your harvest in 2017.

    Abundant blessings to you! With love,

     
     
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    Winter Solstice : Celebrating Life's Cycles

    Be who you want, InspiringChloë Rain
    Winter Solstice 2016

    The light of the Sun begins a new solar cycle at Winter Solstice. The rays shine into the dark, and nurture the newborn life there to be cultivated. And this is mirrored in nature, as the seeds are buried in the darkness of the Earth, to emerge once again with the life-giving rays of the Sun.

    Today let yourself be reminded of your inner light, and rest in peace knowing the changing of the season and the return of brighter days is ahead.

    The longest night of the year is honored by many traditions as a sacred and rich time. In the past, it's been a night to gather 'round the fire, or set out candles to call back the Sun.

    Endings and Darkness: In Latin, solstice means sun set still and Winter Solstice is the great stillness before the Sun's strength builds, and days grow longer. It can be a time to rest and reflect. It's the fruitful dark out of which new life can eventually emerge.

    In ancient times and for some today, the darkness itself is the spiritual cradle into which the Sun is reborn. Father Time with his sickle appears briefly, and bids us farewell, before the newborn babe appears at New Years. Everything lies dormant in the silent night, a sacred time of rest before the awakening, and the slow build toward longer days.

    Keeping the Faith:

    This time of year is associated with light — string lights, sparklers and of course, candles. Hanukkah in the Jewish tradition is the Festival of Lights, with 8 days of ritual illumination of the menorah.

    There's the advent wreath of the Christian faith and the all-night bonfire for the burning of the Yule log, a tradition with roots in Northern European pre-Christian times.

    The lights are reminders of the inner light, and hope for the return of sunny days.

    This year 2016 (in the N. Hem), The Winter Solstice is on Wednesday, the 21st of December at 5:44 AM EST. 

    It is suggested to take time 15 minutes before and 15 minutes after the precise moment of the solstice to open to the intelligence of nature all around you and to acknowledge your personal growth cycle.

    As we consciously link our awareness to nature's cycles, our understanding of our own cycles begin to deepen.

    The Solstice is upon us as we move from the darkest night of the year (in the Northern Hemisphere) and the return of brighter days is ahead. You may want to take time to honor and acknowledge the endings & new beginnings in your life in a ceremony or personal ritual that both honors your past and clears space to make room for what you wish for the coming year.

    Make an offering that represents the past and give it to the spirit of fire as a completion. Then spend a bit of time dreaming and visioning to bring into focus what you would like to experience and bring into being in the coming year.

    "Joy to the World"
    Joy to the world, the new year´s come.
    Now earth prepares for spring.
    Let every hearth with firelight bloom,
    And heaven, and heaven and nature sing.

    Joy to the earth, now gladness reigns,
    And birds their songs employ,
    While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains
    Repeat, repeat the sounding joy.

    No more will cold and darkness grow,
    Though frost still coats the ground.
    We wait to hear the rivers flow
    As far, as far as hope is found.

    She heals the earth with truth and grace,
    And asks us all to prove
    The glories of Her righteousness
    And wonders, and wonders of Her love.

    Want to know more about:  What is the Winter Solstice? see more of this article by Molly Hall http://astrology.about.com/od/themoon/p/WinterSolstice.htm

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