Sometimes, happy endings look like sharing laughs over a warm bowl of oatmeal with your lover.
For the moment, things are simple and you've grated fresh nutmeg over the top of the light brown and soft oats.
You and your lover debate whether maple syrup should go in the refrigerator and you admit that you don't put peanut butter in the refrigerator even though it says you should on the label.
You're laughing and looking into each other's eyes as you speak, there's such a comfort in these moments that you want time to slow... to slow almost to a pause.
Because in these moments eating warm oatmeal with fresh nutmeg and laughing with your lover, you feel good in your body, you feel safe, you feel happy, almost content.
For these moments nothing is more real than your shared laughter. And all the heartache you experienced before, all the loss, the complete and utter gutting out of the person you always thought you were. Now, to be sitting empty across from your lover laughing, you realize you'd lose it all over again.
You'd go through every pain of losing yourself, of being broken open, of not knowing who you are anymore, of being cleaned out to the point that the shell of who you were fell away, you disintegrated like ash in a puff of the wind. The You, you once were fell into nothingness like droplets into a vast ocean. And over a bowl of oatmeal, sweetened with laughter and maple syrup, You are whole again. But more full and light than you ever knew before.
This is what happy endings look like, laughing with your lover over a bowl of oatmeal and wanting time to stand still in the moment of contentment.
And as the comfort of the moment holds you in warmth like a loved child, you realize this is not a happy ending at all.
Maybe, this is only the beginning.