The smell of these flowers caught my attention today at brunch. There were people nestled in window seats, reading old fashioned Sunday newspapers, drinking foamy cappuccinos, rain coming down outside.
I sat reading my book, enjoying the buzz of people around me, until the place cleared for the evening.
Sitting there I had a flash of complete comprehension, a glimpse of the complex and all-encompassing master plan, how everything makes sense, even the longing.
It was like watching myself, outside of my body, and my awareness of my own self was slightly above me and to the left, then tears began to fall.
Why tears? It's difficult to put into words now, because the flash was all knowing and yet my conscious self can't really grasp it completely.
In the past I would have mistaken these types of emotional eruptions for sadness. Today, I felt into my deepest desire, my soul sensing the disconnect between "what I've been working on lately" and what it is I long for, I ache for....
I see how even this sadness and longing is in service to my heart opening.
I've been experiencing these waves and waves of emotion.... happiness, connectedness, sadness, physical desire, physical longing, spiritual desire, spiritual longing, oneness, wholeness, brokenness, fullness....and all the while the fire inside of me growing, my spirit brightening, my emotions deepening, my true desires being revealed, my true self emerging.
Life unfolding before my eyes. Learning to love. Remembering to love.
The woman I had once been, so disconnected from my emotions, so disconnected from my desires, and yet I had this utter confusing and unquenchable longing to be touched at the deepest level.
Now looking back, at who I was, a cog in the machine, following the rules, living inside the box, shoulding all over myself, disassociated from my own body, my own femininity, and hiding my deepest desire to surrender my entire self to love....
I was looking for someone, something to fix me.
I was afraid of my own emotions, I was afraid of my own depths.
When the spring of desire started to overflow the thimble sized container I have been holding for love and emotions in my life, the container vanished, and all of a sudden my depths have no bounds.
I experience my emotions and desire in total expansiveness.
Emotions roll in like waves, never stopping, pounding continuously, then receding, and easing the shore, then rippling gently, smooth...
My desire like ocean, the depths fathomless, expansive, extending beyond the horizon, to the end of the earth.
My heart yearning.....heart opening......heart longing......heart opening.....
buy “Sounds Like Fear” by Justin Froese
Rose ceremony, every petal a prayer.
Sending messages of love out into the Universe.
Reclaim Your Unique Vision
A vision is not a glimpse of what will be in the future — it’s an awareness of what is already true within you, here and now.
The vision is not something you make up, it is who you were born to be. It’s your true power, your essence, your genius, and the source of your abundance.
When you are cut off from the truth of your essence, you don’t just fail to fulfill your potential, you experience many other side-effects. The challenges you face in the other areas — health, work, relationships, prosperity — are often symptoms of a disconnection from this divine pattern in you. That’s why many attempts to solve those other problems don’t work — because they’re symptoms, not the cause.
When you rediscover your vision and begin to align with the forces of nature, you activate the latent power within you and begin to dissolve many of your problems. This is when miracles can happen.
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Embody Your Authentic Power, Uncover Your Strengths, Break Free of Limiting Patterns, Learn Healing Techniques for Yourself and Be in Greater Service to the World
In this 5 month in depth immersion program you will learn healing techniques that combine earth based wisdom with modern neuroscience and methodology. You will learn to listen to your internal compass in order to guide you on the path that is right for you.