There was a time I was so sick I could barely get out of bed and as I lay there began to I contemplate whether my life was worth living at all and I wondered why I was I still alive. I had no love in my life, little friendship, and I was in, what felt like, total isolation.
I had become so exhausted, that death started to feel like a reality, like I might bump into him at the Starbucks counter and he'd introduce himself to me and tell me we'd be meeting up soon. I began to live in this fear of my pending death as if it were a reality.
Everywhere I turned, I saw death on the faces of others. I was on the verge of a breakdown or a serious mental crisis, but there was something inside of me that still had the strength to hope for happiness.
There was a voice that told me, living a fulfilling life was what I was meant for and I listened to it, because I literally could no longer not listen. This voice, this hope, was the only thing that was keeping me from death.
My battle with depression had been a long kept secret. Outwardly I was a successful business woman, with a top floor glassed in office suite overlooking the Puget sound, and flying all over the country.
But I kept who I was on the inside and my private life completely separate from who I was in my outward expression in business and even to the majority of my family and friends.
The effort to keep who I truly was from the world would ultimately bring me to my knees. Isolated, ill, and desperately unfulfilled and unhappy. I was overworked and overwhelmed and contemplating death.
When I took off on my last trip to Ireland, I didn't know what to expect. I wasn't sure why spirit was calling me back to that place.
The message I received and the surety I discovered on my journey was unexpected and life changing. I felt at a visceral level, in my cells and my bones, a knowing and awareness that I am healed.
AND... I could see the WHY behind it all. The journey, the trials, the tribulations, the sickness, the doubt, and then the healing and the awareness, then the power and the strength, and the inspiration to create a life on purpose.
We are all here to live out our deepest desires and utilize our born talents, or why be here at all?
I understand at a deep level the importance of why we are all here NOW and why it is so important to become fully realized at this time. We did not come here to live a lesser life. You came here to be the brilliant unique radiant being, that you and you alone, have the capacity to be and this is not only in service to your own happiness but in service to the entire world.
Who will dream that dream? And who will make it real? Is it you?
I know in all honesty that dreams can become a reality and you can be one of those people making an impact on the world. I also know that it does take time and investment and total commitment to go deep, and you must recommit to yourself along the way. I would certainly not recommend doing it alone.
Once I began living life on my own terms, I rowed a boat in the arctic circle, I climbed a mountain in Ireland, I had a love affair in Paris, I co-authored an International bestselling spirituality book.
I occasionally write bad poetry, and I still consider myself an artist.
All because I believed it was possible.
I know who I am at a deep level. And that has made all the difference in the world.