explore deeply

why am I alive?

I Don't Remember Who I was Before I Knew You

Chloë Rain

When I reflect on my life, a series of events play out, turning points, each seemingly having nothing to do with the other, nothing to do with the time or the place or the decision I made in the moment, to go left or right, to go or to stay a moment longer in the crowd, and yet… 

There they are, inextricable moments in time where my life path crossed some other complete strangers' and in that moment of our meeting our lives would never be the same again. These times seem to come with no warning, no seemingly repeatable system to identify when or where this important event was going to take place.

I’ve read that the way we experience linear time is a false misunderstanding of how things are actually unfolding in our Universe. When we look at time and space and reality from a scientific perspective it appears more likely that everything is happening all at once. 

Strangely, this makes more sense to me when I really think about my life and the way I experience the people, places, and events of my world.  

I call this livingly spherically. It seems to me that my life radiates outward from a single point of origin. I can peer into my past from the center of my life seeing things through the lens of my present wisdom and therefore the way I view my past has changed, and in the same way the experiences I’m having right in this moment are changing my view of the present and my future.

There are people and moments in time, decisions I’ve made (though perhaps not the ones I would have thought), and places I have lived that have changed me at depth… When I peer into the depths of my existence it seems they are at my core.

Upon review of the meaningful encounters of once strangers whose presence in my life changed me forevermore, I can see no real pattern. But I am left with a sense of wonder and awe and total and utter reverence for the random kindnesses of life.  Just when you need it most, it seems that these once unknown people become major characters in your life story. In that moment when you were about to throw in the towel, give up hope, and write everyone in the whole world off, a new character is ushered into the scene and everything changes. 

When I try to go back in time through my memories it becomes difficult, impossible even, to separate who I was just before that moment in time when that person came into my life and who I became immediately upon knowing them. There was a time that I didn’t know that person and so I must have been different then, and yet…

I can’t remember who I was before I knew that person.  

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
— Carl Jung

I can recall where I was when I met that person who changed my life but I can no longer recall who I was before I met them. It seems to me that from the moment of now, I was always to know that person, because without them I wouldn’t be who I am today.

Sometimes these people are just a memory that I carry around with me. I haven’t seen or spoken to the the person in years, decades even, and yet their presence in my life is no less real, no less vivid, no less impactful. Either they left a long time ago, or they’ve been gone from this earth for sometime, or I went away thinking I’d return before too long, only to be irrevocably changed so much so that I never could return.

I call up a memory of a friend or a lover and play it out like I was selecting a scene on a DVD. Remember what was said right at that moment, what I was wearing or the smell of something in the air.

There are people who mean so much to me, I couldn’t unravel their existence from the fabric of my life’s time line without creating the kind of gaping black hole that sucks all the light from the surrounding Universes.  

There would be a heavy and inescapable nothingness without them that could not be lightened or filled by anyone other than them. These people have become a part of me. I would almost say they’ve made me who I am, but that’s not quite right, because I wouldn’t say anybody could make or break you permanently, but I couldn’t be me without them.

These are the aftereffects of two spheres intersecting in time, our worlds instantly became different upon encountering each other.

Its these same people, at times in life when I’ve lost faith in myself and humanity, that I can call upon or I can call their image and likeness into my mind and through the sheer affection for their existence in my world, begin to feel hope, again.  I have wondered, if there was a guarantee to life would I buy it? If the guarantee told you every step along the way before it happened and of the people who would come in and out of your life and how they would change you, would I want to know? Would I want to know if they stay or if they leave?

Would it make us happier, in the end, if life was guaranteed to work out just the way we planned it? Or does it add some worthwhile sweetness to the experience of living, not knowing how it's all going to go?

You don't know how or when you’re going to meet a person, a friend, or the love of your life, who will irreversibly change your world and how you view your past, present, and future for the rest of time, across all previous memories and boundaries of the mind. 

Perhaps this is one of life’s great mysteries that makes life worth living.

©2016 Explore Deeply, LLC. All rights reserved. Please feel free to share photos and content from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and credit Explore Deeply™ as well as Chloë Rain, the photographer and writer (where applicable), and link back to the original post. Thank you!

#1 Energetic Tool to Feel Happy & Grounded : Explore Deeply Sessions {Vlog}

Healing, Nature, VideoChloë Rain

Explore Deeply Session: #1 Energetic Tool to Self-Heal, Feel Happy, Connected, & Grounded

I encourage you to write me with your questions and I will answer them in upcoming Explore Deeply Sessions {Vlog}.  xoxo


©2016 Explore Deeply, LLC. All rights reserved. Please feel free to share photos and content from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and credit Explore Deeply™ as well as Chloë Rain, the photographer and writer (where applicable), and link back to the original post. Thank you!

I used to feel alone...somewhere along the way, I started to belong...

Be who you want, Landscape, VideoChloë Rain
White Grass Ski Touring Center Explore Deeply Bald Knob

Gonna be another beautiful day for being on skis!!

Its Sunday afternoon, I've just eaten a big venison burger, brought by one of my friends and then grilled outside on the snow, in beautiful blazing sunshine, under a bluebird sky. There are people all around, in their t-shirts and ski pants, drinking dark and foamy beers and laughing and smiling behind their sunglasses.

Sundays used to depress me. At the height of the worst of it, I would go into an anxiety ridden paralysis on Sunday and drink myself into an early bedtime and wake up on for work on Monday not remembering much of the day before and dreading the work week in front of me.

Today I'm in the ski shop, trying on this year's new equipment, new boots, new skis. I really like those red suede ones, do they come in my size?

I'm nervous. I've got lots of nervous energy and I've thought several times within moments of each other, even as I'm gearing up, that I could just make some excuse and not go skiing with everyone. "I'm not very good, I'm going to embarrass myself, I'm going to hold everyone up, they're not going to have any fun because I'll be holding everyone else back."

I didn't realize I had said out loud, "I'm nervous," and Max had heard me, responding "You say that everytime you go out, but you always have a great time."

I'm secretly surprised that he knows this, and wonder "Do I always wear my emotions on my sleeve and say out loud those things that are only meant for internal lament?" and all at once grateful for his words. What he doesn't realize is that those few words have just saved me from my internal barrage of negative self talk and the pending self sabotage that was just about to happen.

I get my skis and take them outside where everyone is gathering in the sunshine to go on "Robbie's Rad Adventure" a local Sunday tradition at White Grass Cross Country Ski Touring Center, and I'm amongst friends.

Good to know, at random synchronistic times, people show up along the journey and say just the perfect thing at just the right time, to save you from yourself.

I used to feel alone. Always.

No matter if I was actually alone, or in a crowded bar, or laying in bed next to a lover, or in front of my team leading a meeting. I hid this loneliness behind a big stoic wall of "I'm ok."

And "Don't fuck with me."

This Sunday, I'm climbing up a mountain on skis. I'm huffing, but I'm feeling really good, proud even, that I'm keeping up, and my skis are sticking, I'm climbing, and I'm not slipping. I can feel in my body, that part of me knows what I'm doing. There's more strength in me than I've ever felt. I'm surprised that I'm doing better than I remembered I was capable of.

I catch myself being in the moment, like really and truly in the moment. I'm in the woods, in the snow with my friends and this time, I feel, I know, I sense... I'm Okay. I mean I'm really Ok.

I wish I could bottle this moment and make it into medicine.

This is what it's all about, a few hours of daylight on a Sunday, where I'm out in nature, I'm using my body, I'm with other people enjoying the present moment and each other's company.

I belong. I'm alive. I'm alive on planet earth and I'm glad I'm still here. Still breathing, still living, still showing up.

I could have talked myself out of not coming on this afternoon ski with all these pals, because, they're all really good skiers, and I'm not. Not yet, at least.

I embarrass easily, but not because anyone is critical or competitive, infact just the opposite.

Warm, inclusive, jovial. 

My brothers.

I blush bright red when I mess up, I get nervous I'm going to run into a tree and cause a big scene. I get flustered when I fall down and sometimes panic that I won't be able to get myself back up, which of course, always makes it more difficult to get my skis under me.

My friends show me tips, tell me to go this way, not that way and Chipper even compliments my snow plow. I tense up and notice how difficult it is to accept compliments, even the silly ones.

I think, "I wish I was better at this."

"Man, I wish I was smooth on skis!"

I watch the other chics swish and swoop with their free heels through the trees and I say to myself Damn! That's fantastic. I wanna do that. I wanna look good. They are at ease, they're having fun.

They are NOT snowplowing.

We make it to the top of the mountain, taking a few breaks to sip from wild springs along the trail, and when asked if I'd like a drink, I say Yes, instead of saying "No... Thanks... I'm alright."

When I'm asked these days, I say Yes, instead of No.

Yes, thank you and, Yes, I'd love that, and Yes, I'll be there... and Yes, I'm glad you asked...  

We're in the trees headed toward Ashram Rocks, I've been on this trail before and it scares the shit out of me, not because it's steep, but because you have to ski through tiny spaces in between trees, which requires some finesse and control in your turning skills, and I'm still working on a five foot wide snow plow.

But I've got people looking out for me...

"Once you make that turn and get over that rock, you're good."

"Grab on to that tree if you need to!"

And I do, I make that turn, get over that rock, and grab onto that tree to slow me down.

I say to myself, "Damn! That's the freaking ticket isn't it?! Chloë, just keep showing up sister."

If I'd kept myself hidden because I was worried what I looked like, or what other people thought of me, I wouldn't be here, out in nature, with my friends, having a good time. Not because, they wouldn't want me here, but because I used to be too afraid to show up in case someone should see me fall, see me struggle, or look silly, or have to snow plow instead of finesse my way through.

And what if I couldn't get up? What if someone had to help me? I used to wish everyone would leave me alone, so as not to allow them to see my struggle.

Now, I feel gratitude for being here. I struggle. I huff and puff. I keep showing up. I snow plow. I'm stronger than I ever was before.

I'm not alone. 

I don't look smooth, always, and I'm not quite sure what I'm doing a lot of the time. But I'm here, and I'm having fun.

I snowplow like a motherf&*cker when I'm cruising down the mountain with the wind on my face, I laugh and I steer my poles like I am driving a car, sometimes waving them around in the air like two chicken wings.

I believe I must look awfully silly, but no one seems to care, and it doesn't appear that I'm holding anyone back, but myself.

I wonder... if I hadn't gone so astray for so long, gotten things so messed up. If I hadn't shut down all the way, and closed myself off until there was nothing left but the sound of my own beating heart to drive me crazy in the surrounding silence. 

Would I get it, as much as I get it now? Sometimes, I wonder if I'm living my life in reverse, and all the mistakes I made along the way were on purpose leading me to the ultimate goal I had always longed for, for as long as I could remember, to feel happy. To have friends, to enjoy myself and my life, to feel good and to know in my bones that I'm Okay.

I started to show up, even when I was shut down, and in doing so, somewhere along the way, I came to belong.

Sunday Sunset, January 31st, 2016 Top of Bald Knob, West Virginia

Sundown on a beautiful winter wonderland weekend.

©2016 Explore Deeply, LLC. All rights reserved. Please feel free to share photos and content from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and credit Explore Deeply™ as well as Chloë Rain, the photographer and writer (where applicable), and link back to the original post. Thank you!

Why I Give a F*&$ about Valentine's Day, and Maybe Why You Should Too!? {Vlog}

Healing, Life Lessons, Rose Ceremony, Rituals, VideoChloë Rain

Explore Deeply Session: Learn Why Ritual is Important in your life & receive one of my most favorite energetic tools to bring more love into your life!

"Why I give an eff about Valentine's Day, and maybe why you should, too!?" Plus I share an energetic tool to use in your life to feel, receive, and have more LOVE!  IN-JOY! 

I encourage you to write me with your questions at and I will answer them in upcoming Explore Deeply Sessions {Vlog}.  xoxo


New LIVE 21 Day Programs Begin Feb 1st, sign up on or before February 1st 2016, and get 50% off either program! Plus a Free Integration Session {a $200 Value} USE COUPON CODE: Love2016

Learn more about the programs:

Sign up for the next LIVE 21 Day PROGRAMS before FEB 1ST and receive 50% off and a FREE Integration & Healing Session with Chloë worth $200! USE COUPON CODE: Love2016


©2016 Explore Deeply, LLC. All rights reserved. Please feel free to share photos and content from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and credit Explore Deeply™ as well as Chloë Rain, the photographer and writer (where applicable), and link back to the original post. Thank you!

How Do I Move Beyond FEAR? : Explore Deeply Sessions {Vlog}

Healing, Life Lessons, VideoChloë Rain

Explore Deeply Session: How to Overcome Your FEAR!

This video is about moving beyond your FEAR, so that you create change in your life and live courageously.  I encourage you to write me with your questions at chloe@exploredeeply.com and sign up for the next LIVE 21 Day PROGRAMS before FEB 1ST and receive 50% off and a FREE Integration session worth $200!

CLICK TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE PROGRAM

CLICK TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE PROGRAM

CLICK TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE PROGRAM

CLICK TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE PROGRAM

©2016 Explore Deeply, LLC. All rights reserved. Please feel free to share photos and content from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and credit Explore Deeply™ as well as Chloë Rain, the photographer and writer (where applicable), and link back to the original post. Thank you!

Things that Make Me Feel, Something...

Creative Feature, Inspiring, VideoChloë Rain

The wedding of Joe and Maddie Greer. Filmed in Iceland on September 4th and 5th. Videographer: Micah Hamilton About the couple- www.instagram.com/maddiegreer/ & www.instagram.com/ioegreer/

Check the amazing photos by Gregroy Woodman & Cory Crawford-  Also their personal photography- www.instagram.com/gregorywoodman/ & www.instagram.com/coryacrawford/ Thanks to colorist Evan Schneider

Music- December by Tow'rs. Huge thanks for letting us use your music! December can be purchased here. Check out Tow'rs music here. Light Through Water by Steven Gutheinz Licensed through Music Bed. Nobody Loves Me Like You by Low Roar.


New LIVE 21 Day Programs Begin Feb 1st, sign up on or before February 1st 2016, and get 50% off either program! Plus a Free Integration Session {a $200 Value}USE COUPON CODE: Love2016

©2016 Explore Deeply, LLC. All rights reserved. Please feel free to share photos and content from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and credit Explore Deeply™ as well as Chloë Rain, the photographer and writer (where applicable), and link back to the original post. Thank you!

Shoveling Snow with Buddha on the Full Moon - Poem by Billy Collins

Inspiring, PoetryChloë Rain

Shoveling Snow With Buddha - A Poem by Billy Collins

In the usual iconography of the temple or the local Wok
you would never see him doing such a thing,
tossing the dry snow over a mountain
of his bare, round shoulder,
his hair tied in a knot,
a model of concentration.

Sitting is more his speed, if that is the word
for what he does, or does not do.

Even the season is wrong for him.
In all his manifestations, is it not warm or slightly humid? 
Is this not implied by his serene expression,
that smile so wide it wraps itself around the waist of the universe? 

But here we are, working our way down the driveway,
one shovelful at a time.
We toss the light powder into the clear air.
We feel the cold mist on our faces.
And with every heave we disappear
and become lost to each other
in these sudden clouds of our own making,
these fountain-bursts of snow.

This is so much better than a sermon in church,
I say out loud, but Buddha keeps on shoveling.
This is the true religion, the religion of snow,
and sunlight and winter geese barking in the sky,
I say, but he is too busy to hear me.

He has thrown himself into shoveling snow
as if it were the purpose of existence,
as if the sign of a perfect life were a clear driveway
you could back the car down easily
and drive off into the vanities of the world
with a broken heater fan and a song on the radio.

All morning long we work side by side,
me with my commentary
and he inside his generous pocket of silence,
until the hour is nearly noon
and the snow is piled high all around us; 
then, I hear him speak.

After this, he asks,
can we go inside and play cards? 

Certainly, I reply, and I will heat some milk
and bring cups of hot chocolate to the table
while you shuffle the deck.
and our boots stand dripping by the door.

Aaah, says the Buddha, lifting his eyes
and leaning for a moment on his shovel
before he drives the thin blade again
deep into the glittering white snow. 

Billy Collins

Shoveling Snow with Buddha - Explore Deeply..IN-JOY!

Posted by Explore Deeply on Saturday, January 23, 2016

The Full Moon is a perfect time for releasing something that no longer serves you; or letting go of something that you no longer need in your life; or an opportunity to let go of an aspect of yourself that you have outgrown.

This particular full moon is a Leo full moon:

    • The full moon in Leo at 3 degrees represents joy, creativity and self-expression.
    • Mercury is conjunct pluto at 15 degrees which, in alchemy, is the number of magical instant transformation (1 + 5 = 6).
    • 2016 is a 9 Universal Year, a time for releasing destructive past patterns and making way for a fresh flow of abundance (2 + 0 + 1 + 6 = 9).
 
The day before the Moon becomes full Jupiter merges with the Moon’s North Node at 22° on January 22.

22 is a Master Number symbolizing the Architect of Peace

THIS LEO FULL MOON ALSO CARRIES A BEAUTIFUL CODE OF HAPPINESS AND CREATIVE IMAGINATION:

    • Moon is in Leo (creativity, joy, personal consciousness) and
    • Sun in Aquarius (breakthroughs, future, collective consciousness)
    • Sun and Moon at 3° (joy, creativity, self expression love)

Source: Numeroligist.com

Snow was falling, so much like stars filling the dark trees that one could easily imagine its reason for being was nothing more than prettiness. - Mary Oliver

Posted by Explore Deeply on Monday, January 25, 2016

You are merging your light with the light of every beating heart in the universe…

 OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Shoveling Snow with Buddha - A Poem by Billy Collins is one of my most favorite poems...

IN-JOY!

©2016 Explore Deeply, LLC. All rights reserved. Please feel free to share photos and content from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and credit Explore Deeply™ as well as Chloë Rain, the photographer and writer (where applicable), and link back to the original post. Thank you!

Valentine's Special : New LIVE 21 Day Programs Begin Feb 1st : Treat Yourself to some Good Loving!

Chloë Rain

Valentine's is coming up! Treat yourself to some good loving!

Join the 21 Days to Love Program or the 21 Days of Debt Release Program and receive 50% off! Plus get a free one-on-one integration session with Chloë {a $200 Value} Use COUPON CODE: Love2016

LIVE: 21 Days to Love & 21 Days of Debt Release Programs Begin Feb 1st, sign up now and receive 50% off the regular price! Plus get a free one-on-one integration session with Chloë {a $200 Value} Use CODE: Love2016

The intention of the 21 Day Programs are to raise your vibration by releasing any lower energies of shame, guilt, unforgiveness, resentment, or attachment to any occurrence, event, person or persons, and furthermost Ourselves for any wrong doing, betrayal, or disappointment either real or otherwise imagined.

The daily emails and energy transmissions will help you clear your inner world so that you achieve the maximum impact of the Detox, Detachment, and Cleanse by clearing your internal world and releasing whatever no longer serves you. These statements are the magic elixir that will melt away the old pains and disappointments and make room for greater levels of LOVE in your life, so that you may experience deeper intimacy.

 

Sign up on or before February 1st 2016, and get 50% off! Plus a Free Integration Session with Chloë {a $200 Value} USE COUPON CODE: Love2016

 

The concept of 21 days is widely recognized as the minimum consecutive practice time necessary to establish a new pattern of thought or behavior. Also, the 21 day period is a spiritually significant time for transformation and integration.

See the full program description here. 

What participants had to say about the program:

“The big kicker was how my relationship to Self Love changed. It was amazing.”
“I love the idea that what we want, wants us just as much!!!!!!”
“At the beginning I would rate [my worthiness] around a 0-1 and after this work I’d say my number jumped significantly, more of a 5-6! ”
“During the 21 days, I experienced some very interesting things around my love life (that I had dedicated my practice to), including on the 20th day I found out an X, I used to live with was dating someone else, and I was OK with it. 


Join the 21 Days Of Debt Release Program, on or before Feb 1st!

Break the chains that keep you bound in DEBT: Open to Receive More : Create a New Consciousness to Welcome Prosperity

The Attainment Of Prosperity, Happiness, "Real Wealth", and Freedom begins with a new consciousness and awareness of all the beliefs that created your current circumstances. Prosperity and true freedom are acquired through forgiveness, and consciously focused intention and feelings.  Good FEELINGS.

Simply stated, the more good feelings you feel and radiate out into the world the more things you will receive to feel good about.

Plus get a free one-on-one integration session with Chloë {a $200 Value}
USE COUPON CODE: Love2016

When you shift your internal energies and begin to forgive and release your attention to all the wrongs in your life all areas of your external circumstances improve, including your money vibration & worthiness to receiving!

“The 21 Day Program for Debt Release was an experiment in being open to pleasant surprises. Throughout the 3 week program, Chloë’s exercises, meditations, and homework were brilliantly created to prompt the mind to shift its often limited perspectives on relating with money. "

See full program description here.

©2016 Explore Deeply, LLC. All rights reserved. Please feel free to share photos and content from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and credit Explore Deeply™ as well as Chloë Rain, the photographer and writer (where applicable), and link back to the original post. Thank you!

New Year : New Beginnings : The Most Romantic Weekend of My Entire Existence

Be who you want, Inspiring, Landscape, Life Lessons, Learning to Love Yourself, PhotographyChloë Rain

It's winter in Seattle.  A year had gone by. I had designed and built out my office space, decorated and hired a team, I had my work.

I worked and went to the office. On the weekends I was eternally exhausted and walked around in a fog so thick I hadn't noticed that I hadn't made any friends in my new city nor did I have a social life. I hadn't been on a date since September, and that had been on my fourth go around with hellmatch.com.

I was completely anonymous everywhere I went.  I was the walking dead. I remember having a realization on the phone with my mother, I kept repeating to her

"This is not a life. This is no way to live. I'm not living a life. I'm living a half life.

This is no way to live.

This is no way to live." 

These realizations began to pop up into my consciousness, but I  still did not have a full awareness of what was transpiring at that moment in time.

It's like I was a character in a movie that is oblivious to all the foreshadowing taking place in the story line. The drama is unfolding and the observer knows what's going to happen next but the character still thinks that she's in control, driving the car forward in the dark, flashing lights warn her of the impeding cliff she's about to drive off of, but she's just looked down to turn the radio station and didn't see the warning.

Intense sparks began to burn pin size holes in the dead cloth that was tightly bound around my mummified life.  

I had heard a song on the radio when I was out walking by myself one day and the lyrics had stuck in my head

"God damn girl your wounds are beautiful. And if God damns, then God damn. And if God plans, then God planned me."  

I think I listened to it on repeat for an entire day. 

God damn girl your wounds are beautiful by motopony. 

Turns out, the band was from Seattle. I had been in Seattle an entire year, and hadn't realized there was a music scene going on. I bought a ticket to go to their show.

I was terrified to go alone.  I was absolutely horrified at the thought of going by myself, but was determined to go even if it meant alone.  As the second band was getting started, I had an out of body experience.

It wasn't drug or alcohol induced because I wasn't drinking out of fear and embarrassment to be "that girl" drinking by myself in a bar, at a show, where no one knew me and I knew no one. 

This little dude in a toboggan was playing guitar and singing and I was, for the moment, totally aware of being alive.

"The beams now bend and break. No longer can I call a home, the place I’ve known so well. 

But what may come upon the road, right now I cannot tell."

Music was playing a crucial role in bringing me back to life.  I was starting to feel.

It had been so long since I'd felt anything like this I reckoned it to the last time I had fallen in love 11 years ago.

Friday, the following day at work, around 4 o'clock in the afternoon I dialed a number to a resort on the Olympic Peninsula.  "Your website says you have one cabin available for this weekend, is that true?" 

"Yes." 

It was Martin Luther King weekend and that meant a three day weekend, no work on Monday. I didn't have any plans.  

I  got up Saturday morning and drove out to the Quinault Rainforest towards the resort with enough groceries in my car to feed two people for a week and enough wine to keep me drunk for a couple of days. When I arrived at the "resort", seven cabins built in the late nineteen twenties and early nineteen thirties, the owners were surprised that I was checking in by myself, but this time, the fact that I was alone hadn't occurred to me.

It had started to snow and I was instantly infatuated.   Christmas lights illuminated  the cabin entrances, mossy wet paths winded down the rocky ledges to the lake shore surrounded by tall pine trees, and as the clouds parted and swooned, I swooned in the presence of the mountains.

I spent Saturday at the lake with God.

The next morning I woke up at sunrise.

I mean, I jumped out of bed and ran outside. I've never in my memory woken up at sunrise because I wanted to.  Something fierce had taken over me, I believe it was JOY.  

After running around in the snow in my pajama bottoms taking pictures as the sun rose over the lake I fixed myself a pot of coffee and an english muffin with butter and marmalade. I'm fairly certain that meal of english muffin and marmalade has gone down in my personal life history as one of the best meals of my life. I've yet to have a better cup of coffee. 

There was a dirt road that went all the way around the lake, under normal conditions it would have taken about 30 minutes to drive around and return to the cabin.

I set out in the sunshine and the snow for an all day journey that would take me around the lake and then out to the Pacific Ocean where I watched the sun go down on the snow and the sand.

This was the most romantic weekend of my existence. I believe I was falling in love with being alive.

I was seeing the world for the first time.

When amongst such beauty it's difficult to deny that there is something greater at work in the Universe.

©2016 Explore Deeply, LLC. All rights reserved. Please feel free to share photos and content from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and credit Explore Deeply™ as well as Chloë Rain, the photographer and writer (where applicable), and link back to the original post. Thank you!

The Great White Snowy Owl Makes an Appearance : Owl's Medicine, Meaning, & Spiritual Significance

Ceremony, Life Lessons, Nature, Rites of Passage, Spiritual SignificanceChloë Rain

Owl is synonymous with the Gift of Higher Knowledge and Insight. They are shape-shifters and carry the medicine of Sight Beyond Illusion.

Owl is a symbol for wisdom. This is because Owl can see that which others cannot, which is the essence of true wisdom. Where others are deceived, Owl sees and knows.



The Snowy Owl : The Spiritual Significance of its Appearance in our Lives

The appearance of a Snowy Owl on January 3rd, that was caught on a traffic camera in Quebec and then went viral on social media (see to the bottom of the blog post), spurred me to re-remember a personal encounter with the Great White Owl on my own journey and my Spirit Animal the Snowy Owl. My awareness of my relationship with the Snowy Owl was lying partially dormant in my consciousness until this past week while I have been experiencing a tremendous resurgence of awe and wonder and knowing of what lies within.

While in Cusco Peru, years ago on my first vision quest, a Snowy Owl came to me and wanted to climb inside my mouth. I remember thinking this was odd, but not feeling afraid and not understanding how visions could simultaneously be vivid and real and illogical and unreal, I invited the White Owl to climb inside my mouth.

And in it climbed and down my throat and then took up residence inside my belly. Dancing around and flinging its feathers, it was enticing me to be joyful, and join him in his joy dance. The Great White Owl's wingspan open and closing as he hopped on one foot then the other in a circle. It was the most happy little Owl, it's two feet with talons, stomping around inside of my body, and kicking up white feathers like a snow globe in my heart.

When I shared this vision with Maestro Juan Carlos and Maestro Lorenzo during my integration ceremony their response was:

"It's very clear. It's all very clear."

I remember this was their response to much of what I shared with them in my integration ceremony. But it wasn't clear to me at all.

The Maestros explained that Yes, people do have animals visit them in their visions and that they do climb inside of you and this is normal.

I didn't understand any of it, though I was relieved to know that I had "done the right thing" in letting the White Owl climb inside my mouth and dance around in my body and take up residence inside me.

At the same time, I felt strange that I was Okay with what had occurred. I can vividly recall the feeling of opening my mouth and letting the White Owl climb in, but I would not understand the massive significance this experience would have on my life and personal view of the world until years later.

At the time of my initiation into the Shamanic realm no one said - Oh, well it's very clear that the White Owl is your animal totem and has taken up residence inside of you. White Owl people are seers of divine wisdom and are said to be oracles of secret knowledge from the elders.

In fact, Owls are Medicine Messengers, and each Owl has a different Medicine message. Snowy Owls, in particular are the carriers of Wisdom from the Elders and if the Snowy Owl is your animal spirit you have the gift of channeling the words of the elders via inspired written words or automatic writing.

Had I understood that challening was a gift that had been imparted to me, and furthermore the gift of writing wisdom from beyond (not necessarily from me, but from a place of knowing), I might have felt a lot more confidence in the coming months as my life began to shift in strange and irreversible ways.

This understanding certainly would have been enlightening information for me to receive at that time in a way that I could hear it... but again, it would not be until years passed that I would fully understand and completely receive the medicine that came to me in that first vision quest.

I have learned from my teachers, only from in being with them in sacred space and then in "normal" space, like sitting across them at the breakfast table sipping mango smoothies or sharing a Mocha Frappuccino at Starbucks (this was my idea), that nothing is conceptual to them, especially when it comes to animal spirits, the messages they bring to us when they appear in our lives, and the medicine and wisdom they instill in us when they walk with us in this world.

Most often the Shamans will answer your questions with a yes, or a no,  and very few words, and almost no explanations are given in Shamanic training, because nothing is conceptual or symbolic as we experience things in Western culture. When the Snowy Owl comes to you and dances inside your tummy, you may have well as received an email from God saying:

"Your life has changed, nothing will ever be the same. IN-JOY! Remember, this is what you wanted and I'm proud of you. Keep in touch, I'm always right here, and I'm only a phone call away when you need to speak to me.

Love, God aka The Universe

PS. Love the Snowy Owl look on you! The Mountain Spirits are speaking to you, too, and your Animal Spirit is the Great White Owl. Have fun!"  

The Maestros didn't answer my questions about my visions of the White Owl and being impregnated with the seed of the Universe, with grand explanations. To them, it was all very clear.

I am a Shaman amongst them and my animal totem, the Great White Owl, had come to take up residence within my soul.


The Snowy Owl : Animal Spirit: It's Medicine, Symbolism & Significance of its Appearance in our lives:

Empath - Intuitive - Oracle/High Priestess - Divine Identity Clairvoyance - Great Mystery Keeper -  Mystery Teacher - Tracker/Shaman Soul Retriever  - Mediator - Revelation of the Hidden - Conscience - Astral Travel - Ascension

The Owl is thought to be one of several Animals blessed with the Medicine of Shape-shifting, that is the ability for them to change their form from that of the Owl to a human form, and back again.  With the Owl in particular, this shape-shifting ability is closely linked with Lunar Magic since this beautiful creature is sister to the Moon.  In observing the phases of the Moon, we witness ever shifting and changing cycles that affect all within the domain of Luna, including the inhale and exhale of the Ocean's waves. 

In Celtic tradition the Owl was used by the Shaman as the eyes and ears of intuition and perception. 

In Native American traditions, the owl is called the Night Eagle. The owl totem has a special connection with the night and the moon, while the eagle is connected to the sun. Owls are considered fierce Night Eagles, birds of prey who have no qualms about going in for the kill.

If Owl is your personal medicine, no one can deceive you about what they are doing, no matter how they try to disguise or hide it from you. You may be a little frightening to be around, since so many people have ulterior motives which you see right through.

If you are unaware of your medicine power, you may take your keen insights and abilities for granted. Others never do. You may frighten them and reflect their blindness, for you cannot be fooled. Owl medicine people know more about an individual's inner life than that person know about herself or himself.

Source: Sams, Jamie and Carson, David. Medicine Cards (Santa Fe: Bear and Company, 1988)

As this pertains Owl Medicine as a Messenger, different owls represent different roles as Messenger.  For instance, the Snowy Owl is the Animal Spirit that is a Messenger who is responsible for carrying wisdom from the Elders and the human with whom the Snowy Owl resides will have the gift of channeling the words of the elders via inspired written words or automatic writing.

It is said that if you meditate with the owl, the answers to your questions will be revealed. Listen to the voice inside of you.

Owl people can see into the darkness of their souls and the souls of others. Owl also helps you to recognize that there is a dark side to your nature that should not be ignored or repressed. You need to see that it is there so you can come to terms with it.

Snowy Owl's ability to navigate in the darkness makes her not only a master totem for soul retrieval and the reclaiming of lost parts of the soul, but she is also the guide that helps us go into the void of the Great Mystery to call forth ancient wisdom, knowledge and secrets that have lain dormant for ages to help us remember the fullness of our being, and create the new earth.

You have to see to know. You have to know to see.


Magic is alive: "Montreal traffic camera captures stunning images of snowy owl in flight"

Quebec transport minister Robert Poeti shared this photograph via:  Facebook

Watch the video of the capture below:

A traffic camera above a Montreal freeway has taken stunning images of a snowy owl in flight.

The bird was captured mid-air by the CCTV camera at the intersection of Autoroute 40 and the Boulevard des Sources, in the West Island of Montreal, on the morning of January 3rd, 2016.

Quebec transport minister Robert Poeti shared the photographs on Twitter and Facebook, prompting them to go viral. The snowy owl is an official symbol of Quebec and is protected from hunters in Canada.

source: The Guardian

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