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the art of living your life purpose

Delayed emotional response, what it is, why we experience it....is there anything to really do about it?

Healing, Learning to Love Yourself, Life LessonsChloë Rain

You know the experience of when every song you hear reminds you of some time, some event, some emotion you were feeling at that time, and you experience things as you go through your day that trigger tears and more memories...

And interestingly enough, having this experience brings up a lot of unprocessed emotions that you may not have known you were harboring.

When we go through a painful experience, be it a breakup or even a job loss, or a major transition, we may experience delayed emotional responses to acknowledging this change or loss, and find ourselves experiencing an unwillingness to accept, or a block of understanding what is really happening to us in that moment. It is a natural fear of the unknown and resistance to change without knowing what's coming next.  

The unknown feels unfair. Delayed emotional responses can feel like watching a movie of our own lives. A rush of memories and personal discoveries flood the mind, movies play out of the past, and a realization sinks in, this is the past... not the present. The question to ask yourself, how much of the past have I been living in my present? 

What was, is not what is.

There's no way around this, what's left is only acceptance.... after acceptance comes, what's next. This is the natural process of things.

Delayed emotional responses, are how we deal and cope with change and loss. Emotions appear when we're ready to accept what is, and perhaps not a moment sooner.

The rest is revealed to us as we walk the path, one step at a time, and continue to break open the barriers to more love and more joy in our life experience. Loss, disappointment, even failure and defeat can be powerful transformative forces in our lives as long as we process the wounding in a natural and healthy way.

Funny thing is, only love can break your heart.
— Neil Young

So what’s the deal with delayed emotional reaction, and why do we experience this, and what does it mean?

Emotions are tricky sly and can be slippery when wet. If we’re not aware they can take over our internal landscape like kudzu that intensely roving green invasive weed that grows really fast and covers everything (look it up).  

Emotions can lurk in the shadows for decades and pop up in a moment while crossing the street and observing a woman slapping her child, all of a sudden you're blubbering on the way home in your car and when you arrive at the doorstep to your home you're not sure if you're going to blow the lock off and kill everything in sight with your shotgun or crawl on your hands and knees to your bedroom and never come out.

We've also had the experience that “time heals all wounds” and I believe that’s partially true, time does give us emotional space and perspective, enough for us to calm the eff down, get a grip on ourselves and come to some rational explanation for the thing that occurred, or we just put it into a very strong sturdy locked down box and never deal with it again.

We call that “healing” when really we've got some ticking time bombs and emotional landmines in our immediate personal proximity, just waiting, just waiting for someone or something to set us off! And then IT'S WAR!

We’ve also had the experience of running into someone we haven’t seen in over a decade (and for good reason) and all of a sudden we're ready to go to blows with them for no reason that we could articulate or remember.

We find ourselves acting strange or childish and we hear things come out of our mouths and wonder- WHO IS THIS TALKING?

These experiences all speak to having a wounding that hasn't healed.

When experiencing a delayed emotional response it can be shocking and unexpected. The good news is however, that if we are experiencing emotions that we were unaware of before this moment in time, we are now ready to process and heal.

The natural process of coming to terms with a sudden change or unexpected loss can be difficult but ultimately rewarding. We move from emotional overwhelm, sadness, and regret, to release, relief, breakthrough, and then to compassion and self-love.

Even in seemingly dormant times, we are in transition. Losses and gains are in constant play. We are the change-agent, and we are changed. Even without toil, we transform. So, wisdom advises us to open our hearts to transition; to honor fully what is passing, to learn from all that unfolds, and to welcome what arrives at our door each day with courage and curiosity.


So often, people feel like "there's got to be more to life..."

Maybe it feels like you’re missing out on your potential in life, career, or maybe you haven’t found the right partner in love… 

You need to know that your life purpose exists and who you are serves a greater purpose in this world. 

How do I know about this? 

...from my unique challenges in life, starting from when I almost died in an accident, then later was diagnosed with a debilitating auto-immune disease, and risked every thing I had ever created in order to recover my health and ultimately my happiness. 

I learned teachable techniques that helped me to grow a 6 figure business which serves people around the world, and create a life filled with love, purpose, adventure, and miracles.  

The the same techniques I've used to create a beautiful life, I have taught to many people who then become successful in life, love, and career; creative entrepreneurs and award winning artists.

I'd like to teach you how to start finding and restoring your life purpose too. I can promise that you will never look at life the same way again.

Whether you are considering making a life transition and don't know where to begin, or stuck in the same self-defeating patterns year after year, life coaching offers unparalleled results in creating lasting transformation.

You may be aware that there is something really missing from your life... a sense of purpose and joy that you feel is just outside your reach. You may be battling with depression or anxiety and confused as to why you just can't seem to be happy and satisfied in your life, coaching techniques help you gain freedom from anxiety & self doubt, and provide clarity.

Coaching sessions are available in person as well as remotely via private conference line or Skype for international clients.

Photograph: Jared Chambers

Photograph: Jared Chambers

I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you’re in the world
— Elton John
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