8 Ways to Ensure Failure
Give up. Sometimes your breakthroughs will look and feel a lot like breakdowns. This is great news! Have you ever exercised so hard you felt like you were going to throw up? Have you ever exercised for a long enough period of time to see and feel the results of your efforts in your body? If you feel like you're getting squeezed through the eye of a needle, or like your life has just gone through the human version of a trash compactor, good news! You've just been rid of all that was blocking you from your breakthrough!
Garbage in, garbage out. You are what you eat, you are what you consume. What are you telling yourself? What kinds of thoughts do you allow to take up space in your daily routine? What are you nourishing your soul with these days? What kinds of things are you feeding your mind? What are you doing to nourish your body? How much time do you spend making yourself wrong?
Don't take a bath.
Don't sleep on it.
Vow that you must figure it out for yourself by yourself. Don't show your face or tell anyone about what's ailing you until you've solved the problem or recovered from the heartbreak all by yourself.
Refuse to make time to receive help, even when you've got a built in support system wanting to help you.
Don't do anything you've ever done that has worked before, because you've "been there done that" and you must find an absolutely new way to solve every problem so that you can declare your genius, with proof. Sometimes doing the simple tried and true thing to make you feel better can instantly and dramatically shift the potential outcome of the situation. I know you don't want to, but just give it a try.
Be critical of yourself. Beat yourself up like you would take a hammer to a puppy who just messed on the floor. Don't allow yourself any self compassion like you would tell your son who was shunned by his friends in kindergarten because he did something that wasn't normal to "suck it up, there must be something wrong with you!" "You should try harder to fit in and be like everyone else!" And how you would tell your daughter who just lost her allowance when she invested in a friends candy bar scheme that didn't pan out "You're so stupid. You're never going to have money again in your life!" "You must have attracted that loss into your life because you're not open to receiving!"
Sound at all familiar? Here's what I recommend instead:
Take giving up off your list of options. You can't unlearn the things you know or undo the desires you've claimed. You can only always go forward. Trust there is a breakthrough and a miracle waiting for you on the other side of the breakdown. Giving up isn't an option any longer, the only way forward is through.
Pay attention to your focus and attention. What you focus on expands. Don't spend any time making yourself wrong for well anything. Not one second. Not one more second.
Take a bath, preferably, or at least a shower. You always feel different, if not better after taking a bath and letting the water seep in. Do you know how many clients tell me they had a brilliant breakthrough in the bathtub!??! Or came up with a brilliant solution while scrubbing in the shower?! If you're stuck, go get your behind in the shower, right now. Seriously.
Take naps. If you're stressed out, go to bed. If you're sad, sleep the day away. If you can't figure out the answer or the solution, sleep on it. Science has proven that "sleeping on it" actually helps our brains solve problems more quickly and our bodies heal faster.
Do not isolate. Ask for help, care, love, support, or just some company from someone you know has always got your back, no matter what. Make sure its someone you can trust with your tender heart, someone who thinks you're great despite all the flaws.
Do not stuff your emotions. Take time to tap your resources, telling yourself you do not have time to figure out a solution or you do not have time to make yourself feel better, will not make the problem go away. You will not feel better by shelving your emotions until a more convenient time.
Try something that has worked for you in the past. Can you think of a time when you had a breakthrough? What were you doing just before it happened? What helped you to usher in that insight? Maybe you just need to listen to a good song that always lifts your mood. You'll be surprised what even a tiny shift in emotion can do for your clarity.
Learn self compassion. Build your self compassion muscle like you were training for the Iron Man and pulling 4 ton dump trucks for show. Flex your self compassion muscle all day long, like you are training to climb Mount Everest. Then when thing edgy painful things come up you will have a well of self compassion to cleansing and nurture your wounds.
Right on the other side of the breakdown is the breakthrough. In the meantime, take a nap, eat your candy bar stash, while floating in the bath tub, listening to your favorite guilty pleasure song.
Don't take yourself too seriously and don't cheat yourself out of too much life experience because you're afraid you're gonna do it wrong, or get hurt in the end.
Feeling the heartbreak and misery of failure is something I do not take lightly. Feeling like a failure and being miserable, is something I will absolutely not stand for! Take a stand for yourself. Take a stand for life and your wellness.
