explore deeply

the art of living your life purpose

Worthiness

Reconnecting with Your Inherent Divinity and Worthiness

Healing, Learning to Love YourselfGuest WriterComment
How to Reconnect with Your Inherent Divinity & Worthiness

The most powerful learning I ever received in my life was the answer to the following question:

What makes a person worthy to be loved?

When this question was put to a group of highly intelligent individuals, their answers fell into two categories:

  1. "To Do-ers" feel that worthiness is a result of what a person is willing TO DO to get love (as in "I am a good husband because I bring home a good paycheck, mow the lawn, etc").

  2.  "To Be-ers" feel that worthiness is a result of what a person is willing TO BE to get love (as in "I am a good wife because I am obedient, helpful, and what everyone else expects me to be").

It might astound you to know that BOTH these answers are WRONG.

What makes a person worthy to be loved is NOT what they are willing to DO or to BE. What makes a person worthy to be loved is simply because they EXIST, a person is worthy to be loved because they are, no matter what it is that they are doing or being.

Most societies in the world today fall into the "To Do" (the West) or "To Be" (the East) philosophy. Since everyone has a common need to be loved, the world is full of "To Do-ers" and "To Be-ers". The problem is that at the core of your being is your inner child who needs to be loved because it "IS".

Your inner child is an "I am-er" meaning it is worthy to be loved simply because it exists.

Love is the only medicine that can cure deep wounds.

Until your inner child is at peace, it will throw the most mature adult into chaos if it is not recognized, nurtured, and loved. By loving the child inside, you help the adult outside to reconnect with your inherent divinity ("I am-ness") as God intended.


How to Reconnect with your Inherent Divinity and Worthiness Exercise

Careful preparation is the key to making this exercise successful for you.

Before you attempt to do this exercise, you must decide whether you are a "ToDo-er" or a "ToBe-er" or whether you are both.

If you have aspects of both inside you, then you must do this exercise twice. First handle the "ToDo-er" aspect of yourself one week, REST, and then handle to the "ToBe-er" aspect at least one week later (3 weeks rest is preferable).

Preparation:

Do this exercise at night after you have taken a bath but before you have gone to bed. It is best you do it when you will be able to sleep the next day (do it Friday night if you can rest on the weekend). Being comfortable is the key. You need to wear comfortable, loose fitting clothing. You will also need to do this in a room that has a mirror. Bathrooms work well for this because:

  • there is usually a large mirror,

  • there is always a door so you can be alone, and

  • it is very symbolic of the internal cleansing and healing that you are intending to do.

Do this exercise in a peaceful place where you will be completely quiet and undisturbed for the entire session. This session should last for as long as your inner child needs. Since children (even inner ones) have short attention spans, this exercise usually takes less than 30 minutes.

ALWAYS ACT with absolute conviction that what you are imagining is REAL. To your inner child, there is NO difference between what is real and what is imagined. This is why a healing IMAGINED can have a REAL result (like the cancer patients who healed themselves by imagining away their disease).

Be patient with yourself in the time to come. Healing your inner child can be quite disorienting until the changes are fully integrated. It is VERY powerful and it takes time for the work that you have done on the inner bodies to be reflected in your outer body ("as above, so below").

  1. Look at yourself in the mirror and think back to when you were a child (in this lifetime). Give your Inner Child permission to bring the pain you endured when you were either trying "TO DO" or "TO BE" something as a child to get the love that you so desperately wanted.

  2. Acknowledge your Inner Child's pain by saying the phrases below with as much passion and emotion as you can while staring deeply into your own eyes:

"I know you are not happy. I respect your feelings."

"I love you. I want to heal you so that you can feel better."

"Please allow me to heal the hurt you hold inside you."

If you are a "ToDo-er" continue below, if a "ToBe-er" scroll to the bottom.

"ToDo-er" Exercise includes the following additional steps:

Acknowledge to yourself that if you have "TO DO" something to get love, then

  • What you believe is that ACTION is required to produce a RESULT of love and

  • What you fear is ACTIONS are not enough and you fear BECOMING your true self.

Fill your memory with incidents where you were made to feel that you were NOT DOING enough. Listen to the voices of others who said you were not doing enough and pay attention to how you feel at your core: where your inner child is.

If you cannot hear the voices clearly, imagine the phrases below being spoken by those who have told you that you were NOT DOING enough.

"No one REALLY likes you for who you are."
"You are a big disappointment: you should have done..."
"People can only like you or notice you for what you do."
"People only like you for what you have / can give them."

The only medicine to cure a bad case of "ToDo-ism" is good healthy dose of self acceptance. Most often a "ToDo-er" cannot accept themselves as they are due to a painful rejection by a loved one(s). To heal this pain, the "ToDo-er" will first need to TAKE ACTION to heal the core issue(s). If there is no core incident, then a shorter version of this process needs to be applied:

While looking in the mirror, visualize yourself as both your guardian angel (responsible for raising your self acceptance) and your inner child (who has difficulty with self acceptance).

Imagine an incident where you as "guardian angel" come to the rescue of you as "inner child". Do everything you can to inflate your inner child's self esteem. As guardian, take the actions or speak the words needed to resolve feelings about the person trying to harm your inner child.

Imagine a happy ending to this situation. Be careful not to make people the inner child fears act unrealistically. Act, as the guardian angel, the way an adult can act in the situation to protect the inner child (but in ways the helpless child cannot act to protect themselves).

Example of "ToDo-er" Exercise: At the end of this exercise, your inner child should feel empowered enough to reclaim the "chunks of him/herself" that others have taken from him/her by convincing him/her that she/he must always do more.

This is because you as guardian angel have told him/her things like:

"You are a wonderful person: I support all that you do."
"It's not what you do that matters, it's who you are."
"Encourage your own natural abilities: be yourself."
"God does not reject you but accepts you as you are."

"ToBe-er" Exercise includes the following additional steps:

Acknowledge to yourself that if you have "TO BE" something to get love, then:

  • What you believe is that CHARACTER is required to produce a RESULT of love and

  • What you fear is your CHARACTER is not enough and you fear DOING for yourself.

Fill your memory with incidents where you were made to feel that you were NOT BEING enough. Listen to the voices of others who said you were not good enough and pay attention to how you feel at your core: where your inner child is.

If you cannot hear the voices clearly, imagine the phrases below being spoken by those who have told you that you were NOT BEING enough

"You are not good enough to be with, to have, to get..."
"If you were good enough, this would/not have happened."
"You better never let that happen again: you must..."
"You better accept less so that you cannot fail again."

The only medicine to cure a bad case of "ToBe-ism" is good healthy dose of self esteem. Most often a "ToBe-er" cannot value themselves as they are due to the barrage of criticism they have received over the years from those around them. To heal this pain, the "ToBe-er" will first need to BECOME MORE OF WHO THEY REALLY ARE to heal such deeply inflicted wounds:

While looking in the mirror, visualize yourself as both your guardian angel (responsible for raising your self esteem) and your inner child (who is having difficulty with self esteem).

Imagine that you as "guardian angel" is taking off an old dirty, torn coat that your "inner child" is wearing. As guardian angel, ask the child who gave it this horrible thing. Assure the child that it will not be punished for telling the truth. Ask the child to list everyone who ever contributed to making it dirty and torn. Get your inner child to tell you absolutely everything that is burdening their troubled heart.

Imagine that you as guardian angel set the old, dirty, torn coat of shame and misery on fire. Ask your inner child to throw sticks on the coat so the flame burns hotter and higher. Tell the child that they are special, loved, and wonderful. Tell the child they deserve the best and they will become their own dreams. Since such wounds are deep, there may be many layers of dirty coats (which are negative beliefs about yourself) to be removed. Make sure you burn them all.

Example of "ToBe-er" Exercise: At the end of this exercise, your inner child should feel empowered enough to believe that his/her dreams can come true by convincing him/her that she/he is perfect just the way he/she is.

This is because you as guardian angel have told him/her things like:

"You are perfect, loved, and valued just as you are."
"You have, are, will be enough to live your dreams."
"God accepts you and values you as you are."
"God wishes to support you in every way."

When all the layers of "ToDo-ism" and "ToBe-ism" have been removed, you will be ready to embrace the "I am-ness" of yourself as a spiritual being in human form.


Reposted with Permission:  Inner Child Work- Resolving the "To Do"/"To Be" Dilemma | Adapted from an exercise developed by Ellen Mogensen and Sandra Skelly


Chloë Rain is a Spiritual Guide & Visionary. She is the the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement.

Chloë has had the pleasure of working with women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to self love, and experience greater fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and JOY in their lives, relationships, and finances.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and joy in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

You Don't Have to Be Worthy

Healing, Learning to Love YourselfGuest Writer
You Don't Have to Be Worthy

The True Worth in Feeling Worthless

I was talking to a friend who mentioned that she often felt worthless, a failure, a waste of space. I pointed her to a place where she could finally see that there was infinite worth in feeling worthless, that even worthlessness had a rightful place in her, that as a child of consciousness, as a wave in the ocean of life, it was worth something, and that she was vast enough to contain ALL waves – worthiness, worthlessness, and the rest.

Worthlessness was her Guru

Why should she limit herself to just feeling one thing all the time? Why should she be ‘the worthy one’ and nothing else? Was she really so contained, so small, so bounded, so limited? Was she not, in fact, the wide open space of consciousness itself, the no-thing that holds everything, making space for all of life? Worthlessness was her guru, waking her up from her trance of worth, shattering her limited, one-sided image of herself, enlightening her to the true indefinable vastness that she was.

Finding Intimacy in Unworthiness

The true worth she had always sought was actually hidden there at the very heart of her most intense feelings of worthlessness. They just needed to be faced, met, embraced, that’s all. They were simply lost children, looking for a home in her, having been denied entry time and time again up until now.

Standing in the midst of worthlessness, we discovered that we were truly worthy of it. Our feelings of unworthiness have so much worth, and there we truly meet, in intimacy. How ingenious that worth would hide inside worthlessness – the last place we’d ever think to look. This play of apparent opposites is stunning.

So, I say, F**k being worthy. If you succeed, if you score an A+, if you get the promotion, if you win the race, you won’t be loved more. You have to shake off that illusion.

Loving the Unloveable

Love isn’t something that anyone can give you. It’s not something you have to beg for, earn, or deserve. You don’t have to be worthy. You only have to be alive, and you are worthy. Because you are inseparable from the stars, the mountains, the rustling trees in the meadow. And you follow the breath as it rises and falls. And you make room in yourself for long-neglected feelings of shame, fear, unworthiness, sorrow.

You learn to trust the body, its rhythms, the way it tries to protect itself, its unpredictability, its feelings of unsafety. You breathe into the sore places, make them safe. (Safe to even feel unsafe; that is freedom.) To love the parts that feel unlovable; that is the love you always dreamed about, the love you never have to deserve.

The Divine Mess of Your Life

Face it. Your life is never going to work out.

Hallelujah!

That is, the story of your life is always going to be imperfect. That’s the nature of story – always incomplete, always searching for a conclusion, always bound to time and change. In the movie of your life, things won’t always go according to plan. People won’t always understand you. They will mishear, misquote, and misrepresent you.

They will form their own idea and opinion of you, no matter how clearly you try to represent yourself. Your success can turn to failure. Your wealth can turn to poverty. The ones you love can leave you. Problems that get fixed can lead to new problems. No matter how much you have, you can have more, or lose more. It’s never going to work out in the story of “my life”.

Be yourself

For in this moment, there is no goal, no image of perfection, no comparison, no ‘should’ or ‘should not’, and the thoughts, sensations, feelings, sounds and smells appearing right now are entirely appropriate, wonderfully fitting, beautifully timely, and totally welcome, for this moment in the movie. Without a script, how can this moment be wrong? Without a plan, how can life not go according to plan?

Gratitude for What is Given

Realising that your life is never going to work out, and that it cannot ever work out, and that it isn’t supposed to work out, is the greatest relief, and brings the greatest ease, drawing you deeply into the sacredness of things as they actually are. Your life may be an imperfect mess, but it is an imperfect mess that is perfectly divine – a work of sacred art, even if you forget that sometimes. Humiliation turns to humility in the space of just a heartbeat, and all that’s left is to fall on your knees with gratitude for what is given, and what has not yet been taken away.


A Prayer for the Living

Life,
Break in me whatever needs to be broken.
Fix my hope of ever being fixed.
Use me. Draw every ounce of creativity out of me. Help me live a radically unique life, forever forging a never-before-trodden path in the forest.
Show me how to love more deeply than I ever thought possible.
Whatever I am still turning away from, keep shoving in my face.
Whatever I am still at war with, help me soften towards, relax into, fully embrace.
Where my heart is still closed, show me a way to open it without violence.
Where I am still holding on, help me let go.
Give me challenges and struggles and seemingly insurmountable obstacles, if that will bring an even deeper humility and trust in the intelligence of life.

Break in me whatever needs to be broken.
Help me laugh at my own seriousness.
Allow me to find the humour in the dark places.
Show me a profound sense of rest in the midst of the storm.
Don’t spare me from the truth. Ever.
Let gratitude be my guide.
Let forgiveness be my mantra.
Let this moment be a constant companion.
Let me see your face in every face.
Let me feel your warm presence in my own presence.
Hold me when I stumble.
Breathe me when I cannot breathe.
Let me die living, not live dying.
Amen.

Words by Jeff Foster: Article originally appeared on Uplift.


JEFF FOSTER | LIFE WITHOUT A CENTER

Jeff Foster studied Astrophysics at Cambridge University. In his mid-twenties, after a long period of depression and illness, he became addicted to the idea of ‘spiritual enlightenment’ and embarked on an intensive spiritual quest for the ultimate truth of existence.

The spiritual search came crashing down with the clear recognition of the non-dual nature of everything, and the discovery of the extraordinary in the ordinary. In the clarity of this seeing, life became what it always was: intimate, open, loving and spontaneous, and Jeff was left with a deep understanding of the root illusion behind all human suffering, and a love of the present moment.


Chloë Rain is a Spiritual Guide & Visionary. She is the the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement.

Chloë has had the pleasure of working with women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to self love, and experience greater fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and JOY in their lives, relationships, and finances.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and joy in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!