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8 Ways to Ensure Failure

Be who you want, Receive More Thursdays, InspiringChloë RainComment
  1. Give up. Sometimes your breakthroughs will look and feel a lot like breakdowns. This is a great news! Have you ever exercised so hard you felt like you were going to throw up? Have you ever exercised for a long enough period of time to see and feel the results of your efforts in your body? If you feel like you're getting squeezed through the eye of a needle, or like your life has just gone through the human version of a trash compactor, good news! You've just been rid of all that was blocking you from your breakthrough!

  2. Garbage in, garbage out. You are what you eat, you are what you consume. What are you telling yourself? What kinds of thoughts do you allow to take up space in your daily routine? What are you nourishing your soul with these days? What kinds of things are you feeding your mind? What are you doing to nourish your body? How much time do you spend making yourself wrong?

  3. Don't take a bath.

  4. Don't sleep on it.

  5. Vow that you must figure it out for yourself by yourself. Don't show your face or tell anyone about what's ailing you until you've solved the problem or recovered from the heartbreak all by yourself.

  6. Refuse to make time to receive help, even when you've got a built in support system wanting to help you.

  7. Don't do anything you've ever done that has worked before, because you've "been there done that" and you must find an absolutely new way to solve every problem so that you can declare your genius, with proof. Sometimes doing the simple tried and true thing to make you feel better can instantly and dramatically shift the potential outcome of the situation. I know you don't want to, but just give it a try.

  8. Be critical of yourself. Beat yourself up like you would take a hammer to a puppy who just messed on the floor. Don't allow yourself any self compassion like you would tell your son who was shunned by his friends in kindergarten because he did something that wasn't normal to "suck it up, there must be something wrong with you!" "You should try harder to fit in and be like everyone else!" And how you would tell your daughter who just lost her allowance when she invested in a friends candy bar scheme that didn't pan out "You're so stupid. You're never going to have money again in your life!" "You must have attracted that loss into your life because you're not open to receiving!"

Sound at all familiar?   Here's what I recommend instead:

  1. Take giving up off your list of options. You can't unlearn the things you know or undo the desires you've claimed. You can only always go forward. Trust there is a breakthrough and a miracle waiting for you on the other side of the breakdown. Giving up isn't an option any longer, the only way forward is through.

  2. Pay attention to your focus and attention. What you focus on expands. Don't spend any time making yourself wrong for well anything. Not one second. Not one more second.

  3. Take a bath, preferably, or at least a shower. You always feel different, if not better after taking a bath and letting the water seep in. Do you know how many clients tell me they had a brilliant breakthrough in the bathtub!??! Or came up with a brilliant solution while scrubbing in the shower?! If you're stuck, go get your behind in the shower, right now. Seriously.

  4. Take naps. If you're stressed out, go to bed. If you're sad, sleep the day away. If you can't figure out the answer or the solution, sleep on it. Science has proven that "sleeping on it" actually helps our brains solve problems more quickly and our bodies heal faster.

  5. Do not isolate. Ask for help, care, love, support, or just some company from someone you know has always got your back, no matter what. Make sure its someone you can trust with your tender heart, someone who thinks you're great despite all the flaws.

  6. Do not stuff your emotions. Take time to tap your resources, telling yourself you do not have time to figure out a solution or you do not have time to make yourself feel better, will not make the problem go away. You will not feel better by shelving your emotions until a more convenient time.

  7. Try something that has worked for you in the past. Can you think of a time when you had a breakthrough? What were you doing just before it happened? What helped you to usher in that insight? Maybe you just need to listen to a good song that always lifts your mood. You'll be surprised what even a tiny shift in emotion can do for your clarity.

  8. Learn self compassion. Build your self compassion muscle like you were training for the Iron Man and pulling 4 ton dump trucks for show. Flex your self compassion muscle all day long, like you are training to climb Mount Everest. Then when thing edgy painful things come up you will have a well of self compassion to cleansing and nurture your wounds.

Right on the other side of the breakdown is the breakthrough. In the meantime, take a nap, eat your candy bar stash, while floating in the bath tub, listening to your favorite guilty pleasure song.  

Don't take yourself too seriously and don't cheat yourself out of too much life experience because you're afraid you're gonna do it wrong, or get hurt in the end.

Chloe Rain Explore Deeply
 

With love,

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Feeling the heartbreak and misery of failure is something I do not take lightly. Feeling like a failure and being miserable, is something I will absolutely not stand for! Take a stand for yourself. Take a stand for life and your wellness.

Do you feel a deep longing to be on purpose and in service to the world?

Walking the Path of Purpose Apprenticeship may be for you...

Chloë Rain is the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement. She is a Spiritual Teacher & Intuitive Guide.

Chloë has had the pleasure of working with women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to self love, and experience greater fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and joy in their lives, relationships, and finances.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and fulfillment in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!

What We Can Learn About Receiving from the Full Moon & Sufis

Creative Feature, Receive More Thursdays, Guest WriterHelen AveryComment
The sun is the wine, the moon is the cup. Pour the sun into the moon if you want to be filled.
— Sufi Poet Hafiz

Often we are so heavily focused on giving, we forget that receiving is a practice all by itself. The Sufis point to the moon as a reminder.

How many of us find it uncomfortable to receive? A gift? A compliment? A friend offering to pay? I know I do. 

We can practice gratitude for the things that come our way, but that doesn’t always help us feel less overwhelmed or less awkward in that moment of receiving. Yet the Sufis tell us that if we want to live a life of love, it’s imperative that we get to know what it means to receive—to stop resisting.

The Sufis and the yogis have a long and connected history. It’s no coincidence that yoga teachers quote Sufi poets Rumi and Hafiz in classes. The two mystical paths share the same passion for devotion and surrender on the path to awakening. They also both recognize the importance of balance, of giving and receiving, of the sun and the moon.

In Sufism, there are 99 names or qualities of the Beloved, and each represents a facet for us to explore and experience in order to become united with this Beloved. The second of these “pathways of the heart” as Neil Douglas-Klotz calls them, is Ar-Rahim, The Moon of Love, and when called to it, we are asked to deeply consider our capacity to receive, and to look to the moon.

I love this pathway.

The Good of Giving

Our greater emphasis on giving is understandable. We are genetically wired to give—scientific studies show that when we give, the brain releases the pleasure hormone dopamine. We also are reminded to give much more often—especially if following a spiritual path. In the Upanishads and the Bhagavad Gita we are reminded that service is a path to self-realization. Generosity, dana paramita, is the first of Buddha’s six perfections. In Kabbalah, giving is vital to overcoming self-centeredness. And in Judeo-Christian religions we are told that “it is in giving that we receive.”

Ar-Rahim, the Moon of Love, teaches us that when we allow ourselves to receive, the world gets our moonbeams.

This encouragement is wonderful, and there are clear practices we can follow to cultivate our giving nature: being of service to others, performing random acts of kindness, volunteering, donating, saying kind words….

But by comparison receiving can feel far less noble an action. There aren’t really any clear guidelines for practice as it is almost assumed we receive by default. As such, we’re not very adept at it. We confuse receiving with “taking.” We can judge receiving as selfish, or only suitable for certain people who we deem “needy” enough. How many of us do not practice the art of receiving, but simply regard it as something to fit it in “between” giving? “OK, I’ll accept your help,” we might acknowledge with defeat, while we figure out how we’re going to pay them back.

But the Sufis ask us to rethink how we view receiving, and to reflect upon the moon to help us do so.

The Moon of Love

When the moon is full, the light that bounces off it is enough to illuminate streets, yards, forests, lakes, and oceans. How many of us have enjoyed a night bathed in moonlight? Yet, upon exploration, we find that the moon isn’t really “giving” us any light—it’s receiving light from the sun. We simply benefit from the reflection. Ar-Rahim, The Moon of Love, teaches us that when we allow ourselves to receive, the world gets our moonbeams.

As we look at receiving through this new lens, we can begin to imagine… What if the moon could grow and receive even more sunlight? How many more moonbeams would the world get? While the moon can’t get any bigger, there is no end to the love we can receive if we practice opening our hearts and letting love in.

This requires giving up our judgments, and exploring the moments when we feel uncomfortable receiving. Why is it we find it hard to receive gifts? Do we feel obligated to give back? Why are some compliments hard to accept? Do we think we’re not worthy? Why don’t we let others pay? Do we judge those with less money as weak? These are all just pointers to what Sufi poet Rumi would call our “barriers to love”.

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
— Rumi

Practicing Receiving

Practicing receiving helps us uncover these barriers. It also helps us recognize that if we think giving is “better” than receiving, we are mistaken. They are one action, as the sun and moon teach us. To resist receiving is to resist giving.

I learned this beautiful lesson not under the moon, but in a checkout line at a New York City supermarket. The woman in front of me, a stranger, was gathering her food stamps and coupons to pay when I felt an internal nudge to offer to buy her groceries. But I hesitated. I started thinking about whether she would be offended—or what if she said no?

It was at that very moment the woman turned to the teller and said: “And I would like to pay for the groceries of this lady behind me.” I was shocked. It was like we both heard the giving/receiving voice at the same time, but her mind did not get in the way. Her heartfelt capacity to give was far greater than mine.

Be assured, it was not easy to receive, although I did so with great thanks. My mind had several opinions about what it meant to accept such a gift from someone who appeared to have less money than myself. I would have been much more comfortable being the one to pay. But if we want to unite with the Beloved, then it’s not the comfortable path we take. As Rumi says: “Run from what’s comfortable.” If receiving is your barrier to love, then it’s worth making receiving your practice. And if we need a reminder, we need only look out the window at night.


Helen Avery is a journalist, writer, yoga teacher, & ordained Minister, living in New York City.
 
"Asana. meditation, reading and writing - for me, these all are gifts that enable me to learn and practice what it means to live from my heart. They help me to remember in all moments, outside of solitude, that there is only love."

Chloë Rain is the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement. She is a Spiritual Teacher & Intuitive Guide.

Chloë has had the pleasure of working with women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to self love, and experience greater fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and joy in their lives, relationships, and finances.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and fulfillment in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose. Much love!