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How to Find Your Calling: Navigating Your Own Hero’s Journey

Guest Writer, Life LessonsLissa Rankin
How to Find Your Calling: Navigating Your Own Hero’s Journey

Life is hard, and to live it fully and express your soul authentically requires the courage of a warrior and the softness, gentleness, and yielding flexibility of a goddess.

Of course, everyone’s path is unique, but there are well-traveled paths that all heroes before you have worn smooth through experience. So why not model your journey after Luke Skywalker, Mother Teresa, or Martin Luther King, Jr.?

Navigating your own hero’s journey is one of the cornerstones of living a meaningful, rich, authentic, wholly healthy life. So what does it mean to be on a hero’s journey? What is the arc?

Joseph Campbell described it best, first in his book A Hero with a Thousand Faces  and then in The Power of Myth, a famous interview with Bill Moyer that aired on PBS. Luke Skywalker follows the epic hero’s journey classically. But so do you, every time you say yes to your calling.

Some of us are driven towards our purpose by passion, but many others take a journey to hell and back, and only when we’ve survived something traumatic do we realize we have been in training to serve others who are still in hell. Sometimes we only discover we are heroes when we get disillusioned enough with the dysfunction of our present circumstances. When we feel sad enough and lost enough and hopeless enough, something deep within us has the opportunity to emerge, something stronger and wiser than we may ever have known existed within us. We all have this heroic spark that never dies, even when we’re in our darkest moments.

This spark within you is fueled by a pressing sense that there is adventure out there, that your life has purpose, that you’re on a quest you may not understand yet, that your small little existence on this very big planet could mean something, that there is more to life than the ordinary, dysfunctional world, and that perhaps all it takes is a cape and a mask and some really cool boots in order to save the world.

Let me break it down for you because it can be helpful to know what lies ahead.

The Ordinary World

Click on the picture to enlarge.

Most of us don’t realize how truly heroic we are until we’re called to step up to the plate and do something we would never have believed we’d be capable of doing before we were called to get out of our comfort zone and demonstrate our potential. We don’t know we are heroes because we assume heroes are supposed to fight battles and overcome obstacles and rescue damsels in distress and still looking dashing while they’re saving the world.  But heroes start out like everybody else, living our ordinary lives in our Ordinary Worlds, doing our ordinary things, slogging through life, reacting to life’s tragedies and feeling like victims of our circumstances, treading water in our lives until we realize we are drowning and the only way to survive is to quit fighting so hard and just trust that we will be thrown life preservers. Because we will. But maybe not the way you expect.

The Call to Adventure

Right when you might start to question your inner superhero and feel tempted to lose hope that your little blip of existence in this great big world could really make a world-changing difference, you’re likely to hear the phone ring. It usually rings very softly at first, perhaps so softly that, like your cell phone with the ringer off, you miss it altogether. But when you fail to pick up, the phone is likely to ring louder. Some Divine force turns the ringer on.

Refusal of the Call

Because heroes are inherently curious, you won’t be able to resist picking up the jangling phone, yet when you hear what you’re meant to do on your hero’s journey, if you’re like the rest of us, you’re likely to respond with a rousing, “HELL NO.” What you are being called to do is too scary. The dangers are too risky. Your comfort zone is too secure. It would be so much easier to stay in the Ordinary World, even though the Ordinary World is so . . . well, ordinary. Fear wrecks you. There are so many really, really good reasons to hang up the phone and refuse the call. Nobody would blame you. You’re only human. It would be natural to turn your back on something so terrifying. So like all the other heroes who have ever walked a hero’s path, you refuse the call. It’s how we heroes play hard to get.

Yet no matter how much you pretend you’re not available for that last minute Friday night date with destiny, I guarantee you that, when it’s your true calling, the call will keep pestering you. You can resist the call, but you don’t get to choose your calling. Your calling chooses you.

Meeting of the Magical Mentor

Because it’s so scary to say YES to your calling, a magical mentor will arrive, either as an inner mentor or an outer one, someone who will guide the hero, offer protection and reassurance, and share wisdom intended to help the hero navigate what is sure to be a challenging journey ahead. This mentor will encourage you to say yes, gifting you with boons and uplifting your confidence.

Crossing the Threshold

Finally, with the aid of this mentor, you either muster up the moxy to rally to the task, picking up the phone with a smile, or you get so worn down by the incessant ringing that you pick up with a sigh and a roll of the eyes.  The hero leaves the known world and leaps into the unknown, which signals the hero’s final separation from the Ordinary World and marks the hero’s willingness to undergo metamorphosis. There’s often a rupture of some sort, an unraveling, as the hero goes from caterpillar into cellular debris inside the cocoon.

The minute you say YES to your calling and cross the threshold from the Ordinary World into the Special World, life tends to get very interesting and synchronicities tend to pop up to affirm that you made the right decision.

The Road of Trials (Test, Enemies, Allies)

Because magical things start happening the minute you say YES to your calling, you may be seduced into thinking the whole journey will be a cakewalk. But the honeymoon period of your entry into the Special World is just a phase. It’s almost like your reward for having the courage to accept the call. But this hero’s journey is an initiation, which means it won’t always be roses and violets. That’s when you’ll realize you’re on the Road of Trials. The Road of Trials consists of a series of tests and obstacles the hero must overcome, and along the way, the hero meets allies and enemies and begins to learn the rules of a world far different than the Ordinary World.

This can be a challenging time. When you find yourself struggling to get through an obstacle-ridden forest, it can be hard to tell whether your commitment is just being tested, as every heroes is, or whether you’ve veered off course. Obstacles can be part of the growth process, the cultivation of your inner hero, a necessary part of your hero’s journey. But they can also be Signs that you’ve made a wrong turn.

Approaching the Innermost Cave

As the Road of Trials intensifies, the hero comes to the edge of a dangerous place—the headquarters of the enemy or the dark cave of the new world, or a scary inner place where the reckoning must happen as part of a Dark Night of the Soul.

The Ordeal

The ordeal usually follows, a fight to the death with the forces of darkness, when the hero is at risk of losing it all. Surviving the ordeal is a right of passage, an initiation into the new world that graduates the hero into a wiser, more enlightened state of being. There are death and rebirth during the ordeal. As the former Cat Stevens—Yusuf Islam—sings, “To be what you must, you must give up what you are.”

Reward/The Holy Grail

Having survived the ordeal, the hero is rewarded. The holy grail is found. Life-changing wisdom is earned. An elixir that will serve as the balm for a wounded culture is won. But the hero isn’t out of the woods yet.

The Road Back

Once the hero finds the holy grail that promises to change the Ordinary World into the new bliss, it’s tempting to hold that knowledge dear, to protect it close to the heart, where nobody can threaten it or challenge it or take it away. But that’s not what heroes do. Heroes always find the courage to bring the holy grail back home to the Ordinary World so others can benefit too.


Before the grail comes home, the hero undergoes one last final exam, a last-ditch effort on the part of the forces of fear and darkness to derail the hero from bringing the hard-won reward back to the Ordinary World so that it may become the promised land. This last ordeal nearly brings the hero down—again. Another near-death ensues. But once again—phew—the hero is resurrected.

The Resurrection happens once the hero leaves the Special World and reenters the Ordinary World. Without this death and rebirth witnessed by the people of the Ordinary World, those the hero left behind might have trouble recognizing that Joe Schmoe, who was once just like them, has now transformed into a butterfly. Because this resurrection tends to be witnessed, people in the Ordinary World wake up and realize the hero has a precious gift to bring back home, something that could turn everyone at home into butterflies.

Return with the Holy Grail

That’s when the hero can finally bring the grail home once and for all. Dorothy makes it back to Kansas with the knowledge that there’s no place like home. Luke Skywalker learns to ally himself with The Force. Nelson Mandela becomes President and dismantles apartheid, bringing to chaos the peace he discovered during his imprisonment. Once you find the holy grail, you see the light and can use it to illuminate others.

The Heroine’s Journey

Joseph Campbell’s hero’s journey aligns with the dominant masculine paradigm, but depth psychologist Anne Davin reinvents the journey into a heroine’s journey. Anne describes the heroine’s journey as a series of phases a woman moves through as she infuses her divinity into the surprises, disappointments, and ruptures that life can bring, a journey that happens in five phases. Anne describes the difference between the hero and the heroine:

“Although the hero in modern times is a rugged individualist, the heroine is interdependent on others for her survival. The hero views humans and the divine as separate. For the heroine, there is no separation between spirit and matter. All are One. The hero is self-sacrificing; the heroine receives from others. The hero survives against all odds; the heroine’s ego dies to the perfection of whatever is happening, coming into agreement with what is, rather than forcing her will. The hero dominates; the heroine surrenders. The hero competes; the heroine collaborates. The hero revels in his victory, filled with pride; the heroine wears her humility as a jeweled crown. The hero never questions his value or direction; the heroine lives her life as an open question. The hero fights death, living in perpetual fight or flight; the heroine dies willingly into the still point of Beingness. The hero asks, “What can I get for myself?” The heroine asks, “How can I serve the dream?”

Phase One: The Everyday Woman

The woman is the everyday woman, living her everyday life. She doesn’t realize she is about to encounter an experience that will create chaos and deep internal change, perhaps dreamed up by her soul to facilitate her evolution as a divine spark of the feminine.

Phase Two: The Rupture

The second phase is the “rupture,” wherein the heroine experiences an activating event—a divorce, the loss of a loved one, a cancer journey, getting fired from her job, being a victim of violent crime—that creates the perception of loss or disappointment. This rupture leads her to descend into a swamp of what can almost be described as delicious grief. During the rupture, she refuses to play the victim, instead, embracing the tragedy with grace and sensual surrender.

Phase Three: Transparency

In the third phase of “transparency,” the heroine uses the action and power of transparency to embody her wholeness in every moment. She courageously embraces all of the many faces of her feminine self, including what may be judged by the culture as repulsive or frightening.

Phase Four: Receiving

The fourth phase is about “receiving,” during which the heroine remains open, exposed, and vulnerable while she receives the soothing contact and assistance from others who tend her. She recognizes this as essential, and compassionately allows herself to be nurtured through her crisis.

Phase Five: Action

This love and support she receives in Phase Four lead her to Phase Five—“action,” during which she experiences a profound emotional and spiritual restoration that energizes new attitudes, perspectives, and action in her life.

Reposted with permission from LissaRankin.com

How to Find YOur Calling


Lissa Rankin, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Mind Over MedicineThe Fear Cure, and The Anatomy of a Calling is a physician, speaker, founder of the Whole Health Medicine Institute, and mystic. Passionate about what makes people optimally healthy and what predisposes them to illness, she is on a mission to merge science and spirituality in a way that not only facilitates the health of the individual, but also uplifts the health of the collective. 

Bridging between seemingly disparate worlds, Lissa is a connector, collaborator, curator, and amplifier, broadcasting not only her unique visionary ideas, but also those of cutting edge visionaries she discerns and trusts, especially in the field of her latest research into "Sacred Medicine." 

Lissa has starred in two National Public Television specials and also leads workshops, both online and at retreat centers like Esalen and Kripalu. She lives in the San Francisco Bay area with her daughter. She blogs at LissaRankin.com and posts regularly on Facebook.

Blessings on Your Journey

All I know after a long, winding journey is that we are here to love and to be loved, to open our hearts all the way and to let the impulse of love spawn a revolution that helps us remember Why We Are Really Here.

Each of us will participate in this revolution of love in our own unique way as we navigate our own heroic journey. As we journey together, we will all wake up to the truth of what is real and why our souls chose to incarnate at this special time on Planet Earth. This is why you are here, so we can co-create a more beautiful world together, one little miracle at a time.

If the phone is ringing for you, trust your heart if it tells you to take the call. Your instructions await you. The time is now. Blessings on your journey.

Chloë Rain is the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement.

She has had the pleasure of mentoring women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to their own guidance, and experience greater love and fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and joy in their lives.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and fulfillment in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose.

Dating in the Modern Age: Let's Not Pretend We Are in Love

Guest Writer, Creative Feature, PoetryElle FarmandComment
Dating in the Modern Age : Lets not pretend we are in love : Explore Deeply Chloe Rain

In today's culture of hooking up and causal relationships, where the theme, no matter what happens, is "Be cool."  Another perspective:

Let's not. 

Let's not get to know each other. Let's not learn our favorite colors and favorite flowers. Let's not try and comprehend each other's problems. Let's not remember our secrets. Let's not make memories that will last.

Let's not pretend we are in love when we are both far from it.

Let's not make promises. Let's not apologize when we have nothing to offer in return. Let's not make plans for the future. Let's not ask how we feel inside. Let's not ask what we do when we are alone and without each other. Let's not ask if we can trust each other.

Let's not call it making love.

Let's hurt each other because we can't trust anyone.

Let's close our hearts, and only remember the past. Let's forget the future. Let's pollute the present and smoke through it so it all becomes a blur. Let’s hold each other’s hands as we walk to places that aren’t “ours”, where we aren’t recognized or talked about. Let’s walk in silence because our words only waste our breaths.

Let's fuck. Let’s eat and blow, and puff on that last cigarette. Let’s turn the music up so we can’t hear each other. Let’s get high on the weed we spent all our savings on.

Let's see others and not be exclusive. Let's be undefined.

Let’s stay in the dark where no one can see us, touch us, tell us we aren’t right for each other. Let’s stay in the dark under the blanket, above the sheet that covers the bloodstained mattress where other women slept. Let’s stay in the dark where we can lie to each other as we sweat and taste the salt as our lips intertwine.

Let’s shut off the lights so we don’t have to learn each other’s expressions or see the betrayal in each other's eyes. Let’s close our eyes together. Let’s not wake each other so we can slip on our clothes and leave without goodbye. Let’s leave each other behind so we don’t wait with expectation.

Let’s only come back if our bodies tell us to. Let’s not wait for each other, or say if we are coming back, where we left off.

Let’s not call or answer.

Let’s not introduce each other as significant others and couples or boyfriends or girlfriends. Let’s not meet the parents, the friends, the neighbors that see us in and out before midnight and right before dawn.

Let’s not let anyone else know about our lie. Let’s not care about the world we corrupt, the souls we harm, the hearts we break.

Let's just be until the Universe pulls us apart and we inevitably break and return to our lonely selves.

Let’s be, until the skies shatter and the earth falls and the ground beneath us disappears.

Let's be betrayers. Let’s be unbreakable. Let's be lovers. Let's fly together to sinful places where no one can find us.

ELLE | Singer | Writer

Born and raised in Tehran, Iran, Elle is a singer, writer, performer, dancer, and creative. She is an explorer of freedom and artistry. She sings in her mother tongue, Farsi (Persian), French and English. She blends the old with the new, with a sense of nostalgia, but also with love and joy. Growing up, she didn't know she was being raised by a mother whose dream of becoming a singer never became a reality. Years after immigrating to the United States, Elle took up voice lessons and now singing is her passion.

"I come from a country of broken rules, arbitrary rules. A country where guards break into homes and demand answers to the most private matters.

A country of unsolicited interrogations. A country of crushed dreams. A country where women are not allowed to sing."

Today I break silence everyday. I sing in front of strangers, family and friends. I write and speak in an attempt to break the habit of accepting all I was forbidden to do growing up. I sing to free my censored soul, for my mother who wanted to be a singer but was forbidden. I break silence in an attempt to awaken banned dreams and emerging dreams.

"When I am not singing, I write. When I am not writing, I dance. When I am not dancing, I imagine myself a bird and fly."

Chloë Rain is the Founder of Explore Deeply and the Explore Deeply Movement.

She has had the pleasure of mentoring women and men all over the globe to learn to source their inner power, deepen their relationship to their own guidance, and experience greater love and fulfillment, so they can enjoy the happiness they have always wanted, and have confidence and joy in their lives.

Many of her clients find that their relationships and careers shift dramatically in new and exciting ways after doing this work, creating freedom and fulfillment in their personal and professional lives. To find out more about working with Chloë go → here.

Please feel free to share content freely from Explore Deeply™. However, please be courteous and link back to the original post, and credit Explore Deeply as well as the writer where applicable. I hope you find many resources here to serve you as you walk your path of purpose.